DH won’t stop talking

My husband is like this and over the last few days I've come to the conclusion that I can't bear it anymore and want a divorce. He is incredulous. He won't stop drinking and won't believe no one else is enjoying his monologues. He thinks I'm out of order and it's because I don't drink anymore, but I think I've just seen what he's really like.

My DH is like it too. I'm very blunt. I've told him jokingly I really do think you like the sound of your own voice. He's from a family of talkers, who think they are correct all the time. It's tedious. My usual ways to end the drivel are

1. you're giving me headache
2. you're ranting, I don't think you're aware but you're ranting now.
3. I can't cope, you haven't paused for breath. My children are the same, however so I guess they all compete with one another.

Has anyone ever spoken to him about it? If so, how did he react?

My DH isn't senior at work btw but he has a job that involves advocating for other people and has been in that work for decades, so I think this plays into things because he is literally paid to speak on other people's behalf a lot of the time.

My DH is a bit like like this I'm afraid, he's a lovely kind man and feels terrible when I point it out, but he can't half go on. He's not a 'loud' person in personality but he does have quite a loud voice and it can seem quite domineering.

He's got a pretty thick skin when it's just us, so I just say 'I don't really have time for this' when he's on a ramble and ask him to get to the point, but in company I try to do what others have said and interrupt and redirect like 'oh Sam, didn't that happen to your sister?' or 'John what do you think?' in the hope he gets the point.

God I'd find that so unbearably unattractive in a partner

I have a relative like this!
Recently discovered he is actually quite deaf and has started using hearing aids..
Turns out he couldnt hear other people speaking so just filled in the gaps.. that only he could(n't) hear!!

I very likely have adhd and whilst as a girl/woman I have learned to mask my Olympic style ability to talk shite, sometimes it happens. Usually in the form of voice notes or emails, definitely when I’ve had a few drinks 🤣. The former I have had friends say ‘look mate, can you give me the cliff notes because I’m not listening to you chat bollocks for the next 5 minutes about 15 different subjects that you ‘just remembered’’. I’m not offended 🤷‍♀️.

In my experience people like the OP's husband don't "get the message". All they are interested in is the sound of their own voice.

OP has said there are people around the dinner table whose eyes are visibly glazing over, even his own kids don't want to sit with or near him.

He needs telling bluntly, his behaviour is rude and embarassing and he's a total bore.

this is what I do with my DH now. It feels so rude but it means I get to hear what other people have to say and not just DH.

You just have to bite the bullet and be straight with him.

Be blunt. It's embarrassing and you are fed up.

He's being rude and not interesting in part because he won't listen and let a conversation flow.

Tell him everyone's eyes glaze over. Tell him your children make an exit.

Or be the wife that gets socially marginalised because of their husband's behaviour.

DH is the most talkative person I’ve ever met, he can jabber away for ages! And even more so after a few drinks.

Fortunately he is aware of how talkative he is so if I give him a look he picks up the cue pretty quickly, or he sometimes notices it himself.

you need to broach it repeatedly when he’s sober.

Is there another adult on holiday with you who you feel you can confide in about the issue @Notpop? Perhaps if 2 of you team up, maybe with a couple of changes of subject up your sleeves that you can slot in, you might be able to head him off? If it's not just you he may be more likely to get the message, and others may leap at the chance to join a different conversation. Worth a try!

She does need to have a word for both their sakes.
My FIL droned on and MIL just looks on admiringly . It is awful to see friends looking on with embarrassment unable to escape or say anything .

No one said it’s her fault and no one said it’s women smoothing things over for a man. It’s about asserting yourself in a situation where someone is doing something is not OK.

Not for life, but she’s on holiday with friends and feels embarrassed herself. So she can try changing the situation by being assertive enough to let him know he can’t always have the floor.

Really?

And should a husband 'confront' his wife if this was the other way round?

'Sharon, can you tone it down a bit, people are glazing over when you talk incessantly.'

Im sure that would go down in mumsnet bingo of red flags, controlling, LTB,

What?

Why should OP 'fix' him.

If people are pissed off enough to make comment or to do something about it, thats for them. If they're pissed off but dont want to interject or try to have some floor time, thats also for them

OP can interject if she has also got something to say perhaps, but trying to engineer the situation isnt her job.

You need to let him know. Is he always like this?

This would irritate me so much. I once had a boyfriend like this when I was early 20s. I'm glad it was a short relationship as it was embarrassing. Has he always been like this?

Oh this is so tedious - a friends partner was like this and I simply couldn’t bear it any longer. I was a bit rude and asked for the 7in version. My friend had to explain to him what I meant as he was so unaware.

I think it’s time for someone (not necessarily you OP) to call him out. Perhaps sort of jokingly (but not really)

Oh god! He needs telling that a conversation is a two way thing.

Not him bunnying on for fucking hours.

I am married to a similar man. (40 years). We have few friends because of this. It doesn't get any better. It's mortifying as you already know. Don't know what the answer is. I sympathise.

She will be if she tells him to shut up and stop droning on.