AIBU to think we can afford 3 kids?

Thank you! this is my whole point.

Do you never have household repairs, replacements, garden costs? Even small ones cost, and larger ones loads.

We have done a full huge renovation the last 5 years, but I still have loads of smaller but still cost adds up stuff to do this year. Old garden fence needs replacing at the back, shutters need sanding and repainting, so does balcony. The attic needs more insulation to help with heat loss. Leak in cellar was sorted a few months ago at €€.
Large Household things must need replacing at some point also like washing machine breaks or lawnmower, or you add a shed.
How much do to save monthly or spend on these kind of things?

Have you included day trips, Christmas, school trips etc in monthly costs? My Ds doesn’t even attend uniform school but thing list of things he needs for September is at least €250 to buy new. Some things he already has, but surely kids grow and need various things for school, sports clubs, other activities over each year and that’s extra per extra child.

Food costs of £500 for 4 is pretty low now. It will only increase over the next 5 years as prices increase and children grow and eat more. Even if you just divide now by 4, that’s £125 extra per extra mouth to feed

Yep.

Yet another one of these posts.

The entire question is pointless. Some people earn a third of that and have 6 perfectly happy and healthy kids which they feed, clothe and entertain adequately. Others choose to send their kids to private schools, buy them ponies and feed them foie gras for breakfast.

Of course you can afford a third child on 120k if that’s what you want. Your income puts you in the top 6% of families in the UK. Do you think 94% of families need to stop at two children?

Never will I understand why people post with questions like this. No one knows or cares whether you can or should have another kid or not. Do what you want in life.

All this stuff is very much wants. You would obviously do fewer plane trips, fewer modern gadgets, everything. Every child you have, the fewer you can afford.

I have to agree with @zzar45 's post.

Two professionals earning good salaries should definitely be able to afford a third child. If you have a child with disabilities, or twins, or all 4 decide to go to uni, or any number of other variables, you'd make it work.

But I'm staggered that you work in finance and haven't thought about budgeting before.

Oh I just knew there would be one!! It's not only the parents who get another special person - it's also their siblings and the rest of the family! We are not "shite parents" for the record. How deeply offensive!! We knew we could manage a third, we did, and have zero regrets. We accepted that there wouldn't be expensive foreign holidays for a few years (we have since travelled extensively as a family) and that we couldn't go out and spend a fortune on material things, because we were paying for childcare and lots of extra curricular stuff for all three (always with an eye on the future personal statement!) but it wasn't forever.

Mine are all successful adults, two already graduates, the other halfway through, and are amazing human beings. We've very proud of them. So you can take your judgement elsewhere. Trust me, none of them has missed out on anything!! We've done one fucking fabulous job if I say so myself!

I would bear in mind that kids become a lot more expensive as they get older - maybe youll want to send them to private school, then there are: holidays more expensive and harder to find, driving license, insurance for the first car, school prom, expensive days out with their mates to Alton Towers or similar, branded clothes, iPhones, tablets, uni fees and accommodation costs wherever they'll be studying (potentially). Plus it's harder to give 3 enough of your time as you will literally be outnumbered (great series by the way). We were at that point in the past, and I've never ever regretted that we didn't try for baby no. 3.

We also earn the same as OP which to be honest is why I switched off. I have 2 kids and could keep adding away if I wanted to.

I dont think unfortunately parents get much say about whether kids decide to go to uni. Which is cheeky when we are expected to contribute.

It’s just bizarre to do a thread asking if you can afford another child, because your husband doesn’t think you can and then post a really half arsed budget with loads missing and yet claim you work in finance.

I think it’s pretty sensible to consider the impact on existing children and frankly irresponsible to have another one if you can’t afford to help them through uni and they will only get minimum loan.

That’s shite parenting tbh and very selfish just so the parent can get “an extra special person”.

Same with house deposit given how tough it is to get on the property ladder these days. I can totally understand if people are not well off and it’s out of reach, but it seems pretty mean to think “well I could give each of my kids a 10% deposit, but I’d rather spend it on having another so sorry kids!”

Being a parent is about putting your (existing) kids first.

Do not underestimate how expensive teenagers are…
Plus, my thinking was when we were considering a third (and decided against) would I survive if DH dropped dead or ran off to join the circus! Do consider what your plan would be in the worst case scenario, add on life insurance, income insurance, critical illness cover etc, it’s frightening how quickly life can change course and thats bound to be harder with 3 kids than 2 should the worst happen.

What a load of navel gazing! Some of us just want to have another special person in our lives!

You don't have to buy each child a car.
You don't have to pay for everything at uni - they can take student finance and get a job.
You don't have to provide a house deposit.
My three did activities 5 nights a week between them at one point. We devoted our time to them so nobody missed out.

You rear them according to your means. And it sounds like your means are more than compatible with bringing up a 3rd child.

You also need to consider what would happen if you have twins and end up with 4 children instead of 3! I know it’s unlikely but it’s possible.

We are on 121k (mortgage is £1284 in august so similar to OP).and when I asked on mumsnet a year ago whether we could afford to have a single child, they said it was doable but not loads of money.

I am in london but at the same time my biggest cost (housing) not far off the OP and I don't even have a car!

I’d say it’s more about time, do you have time to spend quality time with 3 kids given you both work 90% of FT and give them the attention they need/deserve? Are you going to be able to give 3 the opportunities to do the after school clubs and hobbies they want? Will you be able to fund 3 through uni? Will an extra one significantly reduce the house deposit help you’re able to give the other two?

I’d think carefully before potentially disadvantaging your existing children by having another.

I think there’s a lot of spending you’ve missed out: car and house insurance, car tax, boiler service, car breakdown cover etc. our adhoc annual costs like this cost us £200 a month so I have a separate savings account i put £200 a month into.

But if you want a third you’ll make it work. I don’t think it would be mad in your situation.