To ask if it’s bad to send your children to childcare when you’re not working?

Absolutely. It doesn’t do the children any good for their mum to work herself into the ground.

Much better that have a rested Mum who can then spend quality time with them the rest of the week

Nursery staff don’t bring up your children. Would you prefer that mothers don’t work after having children?

OP’s children will be in nursery for 2 days a week. Not even full days.

How is someone else bringing them up?

What an unpleasant and very untrue post.

Being a good parent doesn't mean that you need to be a martyr. In fact, that's really unhealthy.

There is nothing wrong with limited amounts of childcare, whatever the reason.

Children being in childcare 2 days a week during OP’s 6 week holiday doesn’t mean the OP doesn’t want to be a mother. Fucking hell what a nasty comment.

It’s funny because I’m sure most of these people would have no issue if granny picked the kids up 2 days a week.
Apparently mothers as only allowed a break if they have family around to do free childcare on tap. If you don’t have that luxury and therefore probably need the break even more then you’re demonised!

It is you that is unpleasant trying to justify the fact that there's you don't want to be a mother to your children. Your priority is yourself and you post nonsense about resettling your baby being difficult if you take her out or your son not learning if he's not at nursery all of which are excuses for wanting nap time and to sort the house out after being off work for a year. Yeah right. Your children are babies who need and obviously want to be at home with their mum but their mother doesn't want to be with them. Shame on you.

Of course it's wrong. I can't even begin to understand why you'd have children if you're not going to spend time with them and have a stranger bring them up. It's wrong and completely selfish and self centred. Poor kids

Picking up at lunchtime isn't a good idea. I thought I'd might be nice to do this for my kid, who was normally very happy at daycare. When I went back to full days,the educators they got confused and upset after lunch. The knowledge that I stood pick them up at a certain time made them feel secure. Switching that around wasn't good.

I think it’s pretty shocking to leave them in for the full 9-4 @lilacfield Are you saying your one year old can tell the time? Why can’t you maintain consistency by dropping off for 9 and collecting at 12? You still get a few hours to yourself. Maybe a bit more adjustment will be needed to go back to full day but you’ve already said baby isn’t settled in so surely they’ll benefit more from that time with you? All going well I am expecting number 2 and I will be dropping my 2 year old down to mornings only. I can’t imagine leaving her in all day.

Definitely children benefit from school and childcare but let’s be honest there is a reason school isn’t 9-5 or even 9-4. It’s too much on young children. That’s the reality. I know that and I send my DD as I don’t have a choice which is why I don’t understand you not grabbing the chance to spend more time with them when you can. Especially your poor baby who is only just 1. Are you really a ‘better mother’ by purposely keeping them away from the person they love most and feel most secure with for s as full day 2/3 days a week when they don’t need to be….

OP will still have her children the vast majority of the time during the summer. She will spend plenty of time with them.

@zzzar45 I have a long bath with a book or a run for myself most days which only takes an hour while DH has DD. No need to put them in nursery for hours on end to do that. I watch boxsets in the evening when she is asleep in bed! Would I want my daughter looked after by a nursery worker rather than me just so I could watch some TV and do some housework? Absolutely not. Also, it's not that hard to do housework with kids around anyway. It takes longer but they enjoy 'helping' and you can have time in the baby's naps too. Just seems crazy to me to prefer institutionalised childcare but there you are.

Of course I always send my ds to childcare when I am not working. I have to pay for it anyway so use the time to do things for myself like relaxing hikes etc and catching up on housework. Or I will meet my parents for some child free time with them. To be honest I will often collect him earlier than usual though because I feel guilty!

Personally I wouldn’t consider spending time with my children “making my life harder” - as I said in my posts I would view this as an absolute luxury and wish I had this opportunity.

My point was that it’s really not normal to have or need multiple days off a week from your children when you are a parent, especially when the kids are small. I don’t know a single parent who would book 2-3 days of annual leave a week for weeks on end for some “me time”.

All the working parents I know, teachers included, want to maximise the time that they have with their kids.

So you’ve never done anything for yourself ever that doesn’t involve your children?

I kept my eldest in 3 days during mat leave with my second. I wouldn’t have managed otherwise.

Oh, I can. Especially if I was still going to be spending plenty of time with them anyway.

You’re right. Everyone is different.

OP has at least 4, mostly 5 days with them for the next month and a half. I’m sure she will get plenty of quality time in.

She said short days. Not half days. I just can't imagine wanting to miss time with my kids to sit and watch a boxset in the summer holidays but we're all different.

Personally, any time I could spend with my children when they were younger was a treat. With all the stresses of life and having to work and be so busy, prioritising time with them was something I have never regretted.

OP has already said that it won’t be full days.

So why did you ask the question? It's clear that your me time is more important to you than giving your 3 yo some 1-1 time or keeping a baby at home for a few more weeks. You clearly don't like the fact that not everybody is agreeing with you. Do what you want, you clearly will anyway.

Btw I'm referring to the 1 yo just because I also have a 1 year old daughter, not because I'm discounting your three year old. However the benefits of nursery for three year olds are more obvious. For babies/very young toddlers most research suggests they're better off with a primary caregiver.

Lazy parenting

I agree it would maybe unsettle them to take them out but just mornings would keep them used to it. Full days aren't necessary.

I'm in a term time only role and I just cannot imagine not wanting to spend my holiday time with my 1 year old. Especially if she wasn't keen on nursery. I can teach her more than nursery can anyway. But you do you.