Boyfriend smokes in the house and gets angry when I ask him not to.

Yes.

It is coming to thsomething when people cannot smoke in their own homes. I don't smoke (I did, gave up years ago), but other people smoking does not bother me. When I was growing up my dad smoked and I sat in the same room as him every evening :-). If you bathe, wash hair and change clothes every morning, you won't be carrying the smell of his smoke with you to work. I always did and never smelled of smoke. If you really dislike it that much, you don't have to live there. However presumably you knew he smoked before you moved in.

This. Couldn't live like that.

Hope you never end up in an abusive relationship. She's not making excuses.

Read her posts. She didn't.

This is incorrect. Financial abuse within a relationship isn’t defined this way. That is like saying a man who beats his gf isn’t abusing her because she could leave.

Yeah the fact OP can't afford to move out isn't really on him. He set a sum to which she agreed. She could have said no. She's made herself dependant on him. He's just lived his life.

Probably one of the motivating factors to him getting his own place was that he would then be able to smoke where he chose to!

If someone moved in with me and started trying to dictate things, I'd tell them fine, leave then. Which is what he's doing.

It doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for the OP. He doesn't sound like a very nice person but I wouldn't call him an abuser. As I said in an earlier post, womens aid is a limited resource and I sometimes do get a bit frustrated on here where every disagreement is responded to with cries of "call womens aid". There are women being genuinely abused that need the help. It doesn't sit right with me clogging up the phone lines (staffed by volunteers) for a disagreement.

OP, shelter is a good idea. They can help advise you of your options. If you're on a low wage it's possible you could get UC top ups to help with rent but that's dependant on how expensive the area you're in is. Citizens advice can help with that. In the mean time don't put any more money into the house. Save everything you can. You probably will still have to pay him rent until you leave but don't pay for anything else.

I wouldn't have even got with someone that smokes. Can't bare the smell.

Maybe but if it was me (and I was young again!) I would probably assume that he would continue to smoke outdoors, or that he would be understanding about my not wanting the weed smell indoors.
I would want to see him as the kind person that I want him to be 🤷🏻‍♀️
Too much benefit of the doubt innit!🤦🏻‍♀️

A bit harsh. It is his house, OP knew the sore before moving in

His house. his rules and you must have known that he smoked before you moved in.

You should have discussed this before you moved in and not moved in if he didn't agree to stop smoking in the house.
Since he doesn't care what your wishes are you need to move out and leave him.

I do appreciate it's hard when you've been together since you were a very young adult. Not to mention how upsetting it is when someone that's supposed to care about you treats you like this. It leaves you reeling and searching for answers, because it's hard to face the painful truth that he's just another bastard.
Or at the very least someone who's bastarding instincts are easily triggered
🤬🤬🤬
You can leave op.

Don't settle. You're worth more.

Leave.

Be bold and brave.

@Lollen just keep him sweet for the time being. Be cheerful, refrain from criticising or complaining about anything whilst privately making a solid plan to leave him. When you've got your ducks in a row, get yourself gone.
What's he going to do?
Of course, if you think that being too nice will make him suspicious then be a bit grumpy. In other words do whatever you need to do to stop him from realising what you've got planned.
He hasn't been fair to you, he hasn't played nice, he's not behaved like a partner so you don't owe him anything.

You came on here asking for advice and then refuse to listen to the advice. Don't make excuses move out.

He can say what he likes about what you owe him but he doesn't have a leg to stand on. There's no contract between you. If he wants to take you to court let him I doubt that he would win.
I wasn't meaning to criticize you for any naivety on your part (I've done far worse believe me) I'm sorry that I came across that way 🙏🏻💗

YABU to waste your life on this awful man

Yes he is overcharging her (very probably)
No he isn't financially abusing her.
He isn't financially abusing her because he has no power over her, she can go and rent somewhere else.
If your landlord put the rent up would you say that he was financially abusing you or would you say that's too expensive I'm going to go and rent somewhere else.
Why is this situation any different?

I disagree, although maybe he’s Mr Charity and charges her way under, but I bet my bottom dollar that he’s overcharging her. Why else would he refuse to tell her how the mortgage comes to? I’d call that financial abuse.

There is no set amount that she should pay, there is no contract between them, he is asked for certain amount of money and she agreed to give it to him.
She ought to have thought it through and realized that he was being unfair. Unfortunately she was naive but now she knows he's being unfair she can move out and live somewhere where the rent and the living conditions are more to her liking.
He is not financially abusing her, he has no financial power over her.

He’s a drug addict - simple as that. It won’t get better. Make your plans to leave and stop paying him rent so you have some money. And then leave him and never look back. You deserve so much better than this vile man.

@Bluebirdover hm I think your comprehension skills are lacking. I never said I didn't read them. Go back and remind yourself, then try again.

You speak of class as if you have it, which is of surprise to me, as you're yet to display it.