To think there is nowhere within commutable distance to London that I want to live?

It sounds like Reigate might suit, but commute from Redhill station direct to Farringdon.

If the Farringdon commute is more important, then try the Chilterns. Amersham, Chalfonts, Great Missenden and wendover all fit your bill.

So many families manage this.

I would think about managing 2 commutes with a baby as well.

Having lived both east, south and north of London, in commuting distance, for many years, I much prefer north in counties of Hertfordshire and areas of East Anglia, and you’re money goes A LOT further. What gave us a 2/3 bed semi or terrace in south and east, gave us a 4 bed, 2 bathroom detached in north. The general surrounding areas in north and East Anglia are also much lovelier (in my opinion). Longer commute distance to London Bridge/Victoria but it’s all much of a muchness when you’re commuting into London anyway and the standard of living was so much better.

If door to door then you need to probably be in Greater London.

Oxted, Reigate, Horsham, Dorking, Epsom, sevenoaks.
Edge of London places like Coulsdon, Purley.

https://www.commuterguide.co.uk/

I used this website when I was looking you can click on each area and town and it will tell you a bit about the town. It is a useful starting point.

@Teacherprebaby the 40 min commute is that door to door or the actual train/tube journey?

Guildford and the surrounding areas are 30 mins to Waterloo. Weybridge also desirable - leafy and yummy mummy territory.

The Estuary accent would be enough to put me off living in the South East, but having said that, if your salary is high enough you could commute from somewhere near a stop on the GWR main line like Didcot, Chippenham, or even Bath or Bristol.

Surprised a Bristol accent doesn’t bother you! 😆

Commute takes 1hr from Biggleswade in Bedfordshire to London Bridge. It's an up and coming town which is popular with commuters. Alot of people originally came from London and moved out here in order to get on the property market.

Gloucestershire may be worth looking at. I know a few people who commute in 2/3 times a week from there. Just make sure you’re not millions of miles away from GWR station.

There are lots of great places. The problem is that none of us can afford them! I live in St Albans, but probably couldn't afford anything there is I had to buy now.

There are a variety good schools and a genuine sense of community. Restaurants, pubs and smattering of shops. Twice weekly market. Plenty of sports facilities and cultural things going on (Comedy festival this week, open air theatre at the Roman remains. some live music venues, independent cinema) Lots of parks and green space. Commute into London is very fast (37 mins direct train to London Bridge, more like 50 mins to Victoria)

On the downside the house prices are ruinous, train prices are high the traffic is pretty bad. I know some would say there is a bit of smugness to the place.

There are lots of other nice, commutable places in Hertfordshire too: Radlett, Harpenden, Markyate, Wheathampstead ,Berkhampsted, Tring, Welwyn, Knebworth, Hitchin, Brookmans Park, Hertford, Shenley, Sandridge, Letchworth, Kings Langley, Rickmansworth, Welwyn, Welwyn Garden City . I'd live in any one of them (but prefer St Albans for the easy commute and proximity to family)

Like everyone else has said it depends on about a million things and what you are used to.

DHs family live in Tunbridge Wells which is meant to be nice but for me it’s quite rough and run down, over crowded and with appalling traffic and pollution. There’s some nice countryside but… the towns are all grim IMO. Other people think it’s lovely so it’s personal taste isn’t it?

I live in the North but it’s only two hours to London so it’s commutable if you’re only there occasionally or you love trains and early mornings.

So given we don’t know if you’d think somewhere like TW is heaven or hell, how far you’d be willing to commute and what your budget is it’s very hard to say.

I wasn't actually, I was more thinking that a change of train on the same line was workable in the way that a commute across London might not be. The OP said commuting distance, not no change commuting. I commuted from one of the above locations to Victoria very effectively for a number of years and it took more or less the same time to get there as it did to Waterloo even factoring in the change (give or take a few minutes). When the trains worked anyway (pre South Western!)

Definitely no need for the tube. In fact, it would be possible to walk from Waterloo to Victoria faster than the tube which I also did fairly regularly.

You're confusing Victoria with Waterloo. To get to Victoria from any of those you would need to change at Clapham Junction but not all trains stop there so you would be on the tube, with a change, from Waterloo.

(and we don't need any more bloody DFLs...)

You're probably struggling because you either have unrealistic expectations or not enough of a handle on your priorities. What size house? Buy or rent? Need schools? Do you drive? But mainly, what's your budget?

I know people who commute from York so it all depends on how long you want the commute to be etc.
I also know people who commute from Grantham

YABU to think there is nowhere at all commutable to London that is a nice place to live.
Whether they are affordable, or suitable for your lifestyle is another question!