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Original poster

Can ex demand holiday details?

88 replies

BookArt · 26/07/2024 07:07

Two kids are under five. First court hearing about the kids is next week. Ex doesn't see kids at the moment due to concerns about his ability to look after the kids. Police investigating ex assaulting me since our split.
I gave 6 weeks notice of a UK holiday. Now 5 weeks later, 1 week before we go, ex tells me he does not give permission for the children to go unless he has the address and who is going on the trip. I could have guessed this would happen as control was an issue throughout.
Now I am happy to tell him the county as a location, and make sure he understands that the kids will videocall at the same time and day as normal as one videocall falls while we are away. I don't want to tell him anything else as I'm really looking forward to not having to look over my shoulder while away.

Is that reasonable or do I need to tell him all details?

He's done this because I stopped a videocall yesterday that was nearly an hour long where he was watching the kids play but they weren't engaging with him. It was past their bedtime and rather than relaxing they were running around getting hyped up.

OP posts:
Original poster
BookArt · 26/07/2024 07:29

I never even thought about lying! I'm so busy trying to put new boundaries as coparents in place and then dealing with the aftermath(him throwing his toys out of the pram).

He does have parental responsibility, so he tells me I must tell him.

OP posts:
VisitationRights · 26/07/2024 07:26

You can’t take children out of jurisdiction without approval from him if he has parental responsibility (certain exceptions apply). There are three legal jurisdictions in the U.K., England & Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. You have to follow the law of the jurisdiction in which you live.

Original poster
BookArt · 26/07/2024 07:25

Thank you, we live in England and the holiday is in England. No court order yet. No court directed instructions at all yet.

100% will now will cutting the phone calls down. I've realised he just pushes every boundary and I'm allowing it. Normally the kids say they've had enough after a chat and they say goodbye and hang up. But the kids have withdrawn from him and I have guilt it is because I stopped supervising visits since the assault. Last night they didn't engage at all so I just propped the phone up and we carried on as normal. It won't be happening again. Give an inch and they take a mile is such a true saying.

OP posts:
AquaFurball · 26/07/2024 07:23

Pick a random hotel/caravan site/cave from about 100 miles away and tell him that. You're not leaving the UK, he can't make any demands.

Homesweethome23 · 26/07/2024 07:23

AppleKatie · 26/07/2024 07:20

yes either lie or completely ignore him. His permission is not required.

I agree with this!

I don’t usually condone that someone lies but in this case I would if necessary.

AppleKatie · 26/07/2024 07:20

yes either lie or completely ignore him. His permission is not required.

KatiesMumWoof · 26/07/2024 07:18

Tell him that's ok, you weren't asking his permission.

Stop making your kids do hour long video calls performing for him.

Good luck in court.

travellinglighter · 26/07/2024 07:15

Just look up a hotel in a place you aren’t going to and give him those details.

IDontFeelLikeCooking · 26/07/2024 07:14

Do you currently live in England and Wales? Is your proposed trip within England and Wales? If yes to both questions then you do not need to share details of your holiday and you do not need his consent to take the children on your holiday. You should abide by any court ordered indirect contact whilst you are away.

if you intend to remove the children from England and Wales (and don’t already have a ‘lives with’ order) you will need his consent. If you have a ‘lives with’ order you can remove the children from England in Wales without his consent for up to 28 days.

If you are not in England and Wales you will need advice from a local solicitor.

Hope that helps. Enjoy your break.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 26/07/2024 07:13

What could he do to stop you going? You do not need passports and what you do in your time is nothing to do with him. His permission is not needed.

User364837 · 26/07/2024 07:13

pretty sure you don’t need permission for a uk holiday

Singleandproud · 26/07/2024 07:12

You don't have to tell him anything for a UK holiday particularly if its not eating into his time with them. You don't need permission for it at all.

Once you've been to court and got the paperwork sorted you as a resident parent you can take them out of the country for up to 28 days without his permission too. Even if he kicks up a fuss as long as you have the documents to show you intend to return IE return flights then that's fine too.

He's being an idiot. He long are the video calls supposed to be? An hour for small children seems like a lot.

SpringleDingle · 26/07/2024 07:11

No, unless there is a court order giving him the right to know this information or to prevent a holiday taking place he does not have the right. Ignore him, enjoy your holiday!