Can ex demand holiday details?

Once you get a CAO in place it will allow you to take them out of the country too without his permission for a few weeks every year.

You don't need to tell him where you are no.

Well done for leaving.

Honestly, I wouldn't even do this as it'll make him think he has the right to know these things. Just ignore him.

Given the history you should not give him information as you don't want him turning up/stalking you/ruining the holiday. I'd document his request though.

An hour long video call for under 5s is crazy

husbAnd currently away and my 3 year old loves and misses him always asking to ring him

but she manages 5 mins chat with him and then is off doing something else

Just remember that whatever you agree has to work the other way too.

Any information you give or don't give, will be the same for you. Thinking about the DC’s needs as the priority will keep things objective.

So ‘when we go on holiday in the UK, we don't need to give each other the details of where we are but the DC’s will call you twice a week.’ Applies to both parents.

Of course, any safeguarding issues will affect the agreed ‘rules’.

You know video calls aren’t compulsory? For some, exes use them as an easy way to still manipulate. You can just have telephone calls.
Other people have advised you re holiday, but I would add that you will get better at not reacting to his bullying. Can I suggest you speak to your solicitor and get a clear list of what you do need his permission for (changing schools/medical emergencies etc) and what you don’t. You’ll then feel more confident in seeing the bullying as the nasty rubbish it is.
Enjoy your time away.

Not only would I not be telling him the exact location I would also be curtailing the length of video calls. Him sat on a phone watching the kids play for an hour is slightly creepy.

Don’t tell him where you are going, he doesn’t need to know and he can’t stop you going as you’re staying in England.

As someone has already said, check that there is nothing he can have access to - location, your home wifi, etc. he cannot stop you taking them and you can just add this to the list of things as to how he is trying to control you.

Keep the video calls short and perhaps do what a poster has suggested and have a little activity set up for them. When they’ve had enough, encourage a cheery wave and then turn the call off. Has there been a set length of time agreed to by your solicitor or just how many calls per week?

Do we have the same ex?! I could've written this post myself. I too struggled and despite leaving him realised at various points he was still controlling me, don't call yourself stupid for this please. You've been living with his control and abuse for so long that you've normalised behaviours and it takes time to break those patterns. Please contact womens aid, speak to trusted friends, ask on here, people outside of the situation can more easily see what's really happening and help you see what's control.

STOP feeling guilty, you haven't "deprived" him of his children, you've stopped him having access to you not them, he could make arrangements to have supervised contact and it's HIS actions that have led to you safeguarding yourself and your children.

I'm 2yrs post leaving him and with a lot of support from womens aid, social worker, solicitor, trusted friend, my mam and the odd post on here, I'm now fully free of his control and me and the DC are thriving. Don't put yourself down for realising things after they happen please, just be glad you've realised and that you are getting stronger and freer of him

Just tell him you're not obliged to give him the details - you don't want him making demands in future.

If you do want to facilitate video call contact, I have quite a bit of experience doing this with grandparents and a 2-3yo during Covid. I'd put together a tray with playdoh or sand or a few little toys at the table for DC to play with and my mother would prepare a book or something to read to my DC with a few sound or visual effects on PowerPoint. This worked well because we all put the effort in but we were very glad when the need for it stopped! You can't really expect little ones to have a proper conversation over the phone.

Scan your car for trackers and check location sharing is off on your phone

Tell him no your not going overseas you don't need to give him that information

Be a bit careful if you are based in England and Wales and the holiday is within E&W you will be fine, he doesn't need to know where you are but if you are driving do not allow him or anyone else access to the vehicle in case they put a tracker on it. Also that your payment method is not linked to any shared account or previously shared account he may have any sort of access to.

If you are going from E&W to Scotland you could have problems as they are technically another jurisdiction and you would be taking them out of the jurisdiction. Although if no one knows...

Like I say just be wary of anything that can be tracked like phone location, trackers, airtag in kids belongings etc.

Oh and watching them play ...weird and controlling. Be clear in court what a call means and that children will not be forceably sat on them and held to them etc. Daily calls are not necessary either, although you could get him to do a story time or something - more of a wind down thing.

Don't lie, OP. It could backfire - I didnknow it at the time but I once took my kids to my parents and the ex foĺlowed - saw it in his bank statements when divorcing. He had literally followed me around for a week - shopping in the same shopping centres, eating at a local restaurant, petrol bought at the station nearest my parents, huge bill at an excellent hotel. Absokute piss take. I used it against him when seeking residence, believe me! Did him no good. You are not obliged to give the details, so don't. Put your boundaries in and hold them.

I don’t see how he could check you are anywhere without actually turning up. In which case if he turns up several 100 miles from where you are that would be ideal!

if he rang a holiday place and said who he is surely they wouldn’t confirm or deny your booking- GDPR and all that.

Definitely don't allow his video calls to be just the kids displaying normal life. He doesn't have the right to a view into your home.
Don't tell him where you are going if its in the same country you do not require his permission.

Don't do this! He will check that you are there.

I think the 'who' is going is relevant. Just state 'I am not required to give you those details. Your videocassette will go ahead as planned.' Leave it as that

The average 5 year old has an attention span of 15 minutes, there is no need for the video calls to be any longer than that for your children (and that's being very generous to him).

Hopefully court directed instructions will give you all the support you need. Good luck next week and have a wonderful holiday!