Pulled up for “picking on someone at work”.

How did it go today@ThunderRoadRunner

I’ve worked in teams with very hands off management. It works well if everyone is capable, focused and grown up. But it only takes one who is lazy, unhelpful, incapable or unpleasant to upset the equilibrium. Some people, unfortunately, have to be micro managed!

If you have an issue with someone at work the correct process is to take that to your manager, that is what the manager is there to do - it's part of their job to manage people that aren't completing their tasks.

If everyone was behaving in an adult fashion and doing their work and tiding up after themselves - no peer would be having any issue

We all spend every day “managing “people that’s how life and work works. I took it to mean that if you have an issue with someone you first talk to that person like an adult. Now that doesn’t always work as in this case but that’s the theory.

They aren't managers and shouldn't be managing, they aren't being paid to manage and half the team isn't working due to not being managed by the paid management. Is it any wonder people in the team are losing it when the work is being piled up upon them with no support from management

The only people acting like lazy teenagers are the managers, who seem to want other people to manage, but without the appropriate pay grade.

People on here latch on to things said to emphasise the emotional intensity like you saying you 'lost it' and act like it was meant in a literal way and then revel in telling that person already under stress how unreasonable they have been and they of course weave in other things said as though it backs up their version. Then another person will quote it and back it up and then you've got a whole thread inside a thread going on where the twisted version becomes accepted by many people as they've not rtft or have edited out the things that conflict with the twisted version. It's just online politics on a site where you can get away with saying some really bitchy things xxx

So you didn't lose it, at all. You expressed your irritation to another colleague. No issue at all.

You can make plans about how to address this when you get back involving your manager and HR if necessary to get these employees to do what they are supposed to do .

Oh and I forgot to mention how sly colleagues could twist the washing up issue by dressing it up as they were too busy working to have time during work hours to wash their cups etc and that would imply you were more interested in washing up and mskkmg note of who hasn't washed up to truly be doing all the extra work you say you have been doing. I know it's awful but if they are so determined to make you the bad guy and pretend you're bullying them rather than trying to raise issues about sharing the workload fairly then they'll not hesitate to use anything to try to make you look unreasonable xxx

Also if you really want to hammer home the point while looking as virtuous as possible then make it so that your point is not frustration about your annoyance and definitely avoid naming or singling out certain colleagues because that won't be truly effective. Its much better fir you to state how you enjoy your job and doing it to the best of your ability and you are burning yourself out to ensure the company doesn't suffer the brunt and you are concerned that if you end up unable to continue giving your all because of burnout and stress you are worried the company will end up suffering and it was with that in mind that caused your outburst. Honestly It is much harder for management to unfairly try to brush the issue away and they won't have the rope they would have if you simply named and shamed the colleagues and shared your annoyances such as the washing up. I advice you to avoid including that in your arguments as they are already valid enough and you don't want the management to wrongly label you as the petty one. I know you're not by the way but management teams under duress will likely look unfavourably on complaints that don't impact productivity in the workplace xx

I know this isn't the exact situation, but how I have interpreted what is really getting you super frustrated to the point you lost it is that you work part time, but fulltime colleagues take the piss when you are not in work till the Wednesday and do nothing to contribute to the shared project, which has led to you coming in on the Wednesday and finding yourself basically doing fulltime work in parttime hours leaving you frustrated and burnt out and the final straw was seeing that they don't even bother to clean up after themselves. Unfortunately these lazy individuals have enjoyed this status quo so much that they're irritated that you've spoken up and they are using your blow up to evidence your so called bullying and they clearly figure that even though they'll likely have to pull their weight soon they can at least punish you for it in a petty underhand way. The management always have to respond to bullying claims and it doesn't mean they truly believe it they are likely just covering themselves so calmly state the issues and very neatly and prettily apologise for your outburst while ensuring it is clear from the things said that this outburst was because of the stress of meeting targets with minimal team help and also perhaps drop in about visiting your doctor because of stress or if you don't want to say you've been if you haven't you could instead say you've been thinking about seeing your doctor because of how the stressful environment at
Work is effecting your health and wellbeing xxx

Stop doing work for them, don't clean up after them and leave them well alone. The entire workforce will end up getting angry and the problem will resolve itself. It just takes more time and patience.

As @lazyarse123 says, who wants to work in a midden?

I can’t believe some people seem unable/unwilling to understand that the OP’s managers want the team to act like mature adults and manage themselves. That’s only possible if they all produce similar outputs. It sounds like some newer colleagues behave like lazy teenagers. It’s hardly surprising then that someone who is diligent with their work, and clean and tidy in the shared spaces would get very fed up, and perhaps just once, lose their cool.

Good luck with the meeting OP, some good advice from some posters.

I don't think you were rude at all.

Instead of telling management to do their job, the OP took it upon herself to act like one herself.

Couldn't handle it and ended up 'losing it' (although she refuses to explain how).

No wonder her colleagues have made formal complaints about her.

I can't on the android app

I'm not being rude either!

Maybe you should select "see all" on the right of the OP's first post and read her updates, then apologise for being so rude to her.

Are you their line manager?

If not why did you have that conversation. That was for your lune manager to do

How did you assertively tell them

You do sound like you were picking on them as if your not theor line manager it has f all to do with you

Ok, I've read the whole thread and I have this suggestion to offer. You say that you're on holiday now and will be back in the workplace on Monday of next week, so in the meantime, you know what the trigger was that caused you to 'lose it' at these new staff members so what I would do is, using a diary or a calendar and a notebook, start at when these staff members joined.
Work your way forwards and as you remember things/work that was allocated to A and B and then subsequently not handed over to you, jot it down in the notebook. Build a case.
Every time they failed to hand over work to you, jot it in the notebook.
Also jot down the times that you have demonstrated to A and B what they were supposed to do in order to handover to you (and/or your colleagues) so that you can show to management that you tried to deal with the issue without involving management. It's management's role to make sure that sufficient training has been completed so that any new starters can, with confidence, do the role they were appointed to do.
As for the cleaning up, I'd apologise if your intention and comments to A and B (or however many of the new starters there are) were understood to be bullying. All you were trying to do was simply reminding them that everyone cleans up after themselves, no exceptions and no excuses and if that was perceived as bullying you apologise but they cannot expect someone else to clean up after them either as this is a workplace and not a college dorm room and any cleaning staff are employed to keep the general environment clean and tidy and not to do the washing up of people who are able to do it themselves.
I'm not sure if you do work in a kitchen, I'm picturing an office with a tea-break area that has to be kept clean and tidy.
I like the suggestion that @VotesForWomen made about ensuring that you're doing your work and if the handover doesn't happen going forwards, that it no longer your concern, you have to keep going with what you can do. Don't do more than is your job. Cleaning up after them is not your job.

This is good advice OP please also do this.

Time to push back on the managers now. You've tried the direct approach, it hasn't worked and when you escalated it you were accused of picking on them, so it is time that the managers step in.

In the hypothetical scenario here's what I'd do. You and your colleagues who do work hard come in on Wednesday, spend however much time you need to work out what has and hasn't been done given that you've had no handover (even if that's a long time) and you start work at an average pace and you STOP work at home time on the dot and you give a handover so that your colleagues can't say that you stopped them from getting their work done on their days, and you don't tidy up other people's shit, or if you have to because it's stopping you from doing your work you record how long it took you (record everything at this point) and you do not bust a bollock to hit a deadline that your equally paid and equally responsible team members don't give a damn about. If you don't need to tidy up to do your job, DON'T, you go minimalistic on what you have and need, keep your own small supply of stationery in your locked desk drawer along with a flask of coffee and your lunch with an ice pack so that you have no need to go into the kitchen, and eat lunch at your desk, outside, or in your car (preferably away from the desk taking your full allocated unpaid lunch break). You work to rule, and if that means that balls get dropped then you must let them be dropped because it's the quickest way to force either others to step up or management to step in.

It's not easy or natural for somebody who is conscientious and diligent, but you have tried being reasonable, and you must let the deadlines get missed and client outcomes suffer in order for your managers to actually get off their arse and actually manage.

PS it's just occurred to me that your work situation might be in a catering environment, where you can't leave the kitchen unclean as you found it because it's unhygienic, and you might need to do the washing up in order to have any room to do your own washing up etc. Same principals apply though - work at a reasonable but not gut busting pace, and record what you did and how long each task took you - so if the event that's being catered for on Friday needs 4 sponge cakes, 5 platters of sandwiches and 3 of scones with homemade jam and cream, and by Wednesday you'd have expected the sponge cakes and jam to have been made so you can slice meat and cheese ready for sandwich assemble on the day, but you have to clean and wash up form the previous day first, and go hunting the fridges and freezers and emails to check if the ingredients have been ordered and cakes made, then you log how long it takes you to do those things before you can get started on the task for the day - say that would usually be jam making. If you only manage to get to the point where the jam is made in it's big saucepan and not decanted into individual jars like you usually would, because of all the shit you had to clean up in the morning first, then you don't stay late to put it into jars, you simply cover it up and leave it to cool in the pan, and you leave a handover detailing what you have got done and what isn't yet done, and you make sure a copy of it is always sent to management. Or if you couldn't start the jam, you make the cakes instead, leaving enough time to leave the kitchen in nice state for the next day's team to make the jam. And if there's no time for anybody to make jam, then you will have kept managers up to date every day you were in, and so either they will have ordered in jam or the customer will have scones with cream and no jam, and a complaint will be incoming. Either way, you do not bust a gut until your colleagues are also busting their guts and/or the managers are paying attention and taking action.

Expecting people to sort things out without managers is an invitation for conflict and clashes - and a neat cop-out for the managers, as you try to do their probably higher paid job for them. Stop that

Agree with all of this except the last two words, since "stopping it" may be almost impossible if the management culture is to avoid all responsibility

Sadly there are too many like this and it doesn't make for happy or productive workplaces

So from your opening post, OP, it reads like you "lost it" because you discovered there had been formal complaints about bullying against you?

This has prob been said before but you need to take a breath and say "ok - so what next?". There will be a process to go through. You'll get to hear the allegations and there will be some work to establish the evidence and ultimately if there's a case to answer.

Whether you're at fault, or not, you'll learn from this, it appears.

@ThunderRoadRunner

You need to play these lazy sods at their own game, I believe in that old adage "give someone enough rope and eventually they hang themselves".

When you go back to work be polite and civil at all times to them. Start documenting everything and I mean everything. Try to make sure all communication is written i.e. emails, text message or the work group chat if you have one so its all written down dated and time stamped if they haven't done tasks or certain work send an email requesting an update from them in order to progress the project. Always make sure you have someone to witness any conversations so they can't twist it or use it and say they're being ganged up on or bullied.

Any mess they leave take photo's of it but don't touch it leave it. You can't make management see the truth they have to see it for themselves and you and others cleaning up after these lazy sods is actually helping them whilst hindering yourselves. When they complain about the mess politely point out it isn't your mess, make no further comment and go back to whatever task you're doing.

When you've got bucket loads of documented evidence that they're just lazy and not doing their work take it to HR and let them handle it.

Also make sure yourself and others who are working and doing their jobs have covered your arses, if you have all contributed make sure only your names are on said project do not add the lazy sods if they haven't contributed. When questioned simply reply "this is the work myself and such and such colleagues have done so far". Don't name and shame those who haven't contributed say you have requested stuff from them but had no response so you're unsure of what they're doing. Don't give them any cause to complain you have left them out just reply "I did email or text you requesting an update from you" and leave them to explain why they did not reply to your requests etc.

I'm having similar issues at work too, lazy sods who think they're carrying the others and we don't do enough work like they do. What these morons don't realise that the system is monitored so the IT dept can easily check who is doing what. They're also slagging me off constantly so much so my colleagues are telling me and at least 4 of my colleagues have seperately told me its bullying and its really made them see these lazy sods aren't what they portray themselves to be. All I have done is make sure management have seen I'm working and doing what I should be doing, I've been very polite and just quietly made sure I've got documented evidence of all attempts to work with them and they have stupidly been very rude, dismissive and bullied me in our work group chat for everyone to see and I've waited patiently for others to see for themselves exactly what sort of people they are.

Whilst the issues are still ongoing they have pissed off every other team in my workplace as their laziness and refusal to do certain tasks they think is beneath them have badly impacted all the other teams who are now rightly very pissed off especially as they had to take the brunt of our clients anger at their fuck ups. The result is higher management are now dealing with it and these lazy sods are being watched very closely at what they're doing and everyone now sees their true colours.

Hope this helps OP good luck 👍👍

Hopefully this has happened.
I don't get all the people telling op if she's not a manager it's not her business, of course it is if she's picking up the slack.
Our canteen is the same. It's not as simple as just washing your own things. Who wants to have a break in a midden? Ours was the same sink full of filthy greasy plates. I got my managers permission to bin them all and just left one because we all have our breaks alone. He had tried telling them all but they all denied it was them so now they either do wash it when they've used it or when they need it. I keep my crockery and cutlery in my locker. Dirty lazy bastards.
Hope you get sorted op.