Making a move on DH's friend

Just to say, under the new domestic abuse laws, children are now viewed as victims in their own right if they live in a household where domestic abuse happening, even if they are not present at the time of the abuse, be it verbal, physical, sexual or coercive control. Obviously I know nothing about your situation, but where you say he has isolated you from friends it does sound like there has been some sort of cohesive control going on. I would urge you not to take this action of flirting with his friend this weekend and to speak to your GP, where I live GP surgery’s have to have a domestic abuse champion working in the practice who can signpost you to the right support. You may not think it’s affecting your children, but it probably is.

I really think you should just leave. Him telling you who you can and can't be friends with is controlling and you haven't said what he did to betray your trust. I'm taking a stab at flirting with some other lady. But take the high ground, don't flirt with his mate. Well at least until you have left your husband.
Whilst the kids may not be there, you lost in front of them before. How do you think this will go when he is angry at you for days for making a joke out of him with his mate.
As much as it seems like a great get back... Doing it once you've left if you feel the need to, is the better idea, for the kids.

Oh my goodness!!! Why drag someone else into your marriage issues? Just for an ego boost and to pee your husband off!! The poor husband's friend, what a way to be treated. I understand you're angry, upset and have had your self-confidence and self-esteem eroded away, but flirting with your husband's friend is low. It doesn't matter if he has a soft spot for you or not, you will be using him. That's not a nice feeling knowing someone has used you, just for their entertainment. Any respect he may have for you, will fly out of the window. Don't play childish mind games, and especially don't drag innocent people into your marital problems. Deal with your marriage problems, either seek counselling or make an appointment with a divorce lawyer.

What age are you seriously grow up do you not realise your partner and your kids are people two with thoughts and feelings stop being so selfish and childish if you want to play mummies and daddies and pretend to be adults then have an adult conversation world does not revolve around you

Wow, If it's that bad me & the wife would split ages ago, but we are older generation, I can't help but love her after 46 years of marriage & I feel it back despite our whinging moments, don't waste your time end it n move on. Some people have no loyalty & it's definitely not in yours. Tell him all you know & give him a decision, then move on with your life.

I'd say a truthful update would be "I tried it on with H's BFF and he was horrified. He shut me down immediately and asked "What the hell is wrong with you?".

I think, however, the OP is long gone. She (if this was real) didn't get the "You GO, girl!" reaction that she expected.

Your poor kids, you really need to grow the fuck up. It's messed up that you can't see how badly this could effect them.

I was actually looking forward to an anticlimactic post saying:

'On reflection, I didn't make any advances on the male friend. I am booked into seeing a divorce lawyer on Thursday.......'

Yes, I'm only here to read about the proposal 💍

Why not contact your old friends, sincerely apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. Rebuild your own life. Go do your own thing tonight rather than maintaining a social circle based around H.

Hitting on a friend of H is a terrible idea. So he's your type, say you two end up together.......H will then still be in your social life potentially unless that blows up the friendship group.

if there’s an update is likely to be how it all went amazingly. He was so into her he decided there and then to cut his best friend off. So did the rest of them. Her and his best friend declared their love one another and outed her husband as a pig.

They left hand in hand and everyone clapped as they walked out of the door!

I wonder if @suspiciousqueen will update us today?

Absolutely correct. To me there is nothing worse than a woman cuckolding her husband. You can see it a mile off and it repulses me. However I am aware that for a few men "any hole is a goal" and they will happily use the woman behind the bins, leave her with her knickers around her ankles having a cry because she's realised what she's done. One in particular told me that he received a bj and afterwards her husband found out who he was and asked for photos. Which the person I knew happily sent him thinking the husband enjoyed it . The husband then sent them to all her friends, the neighbours, teachers at the kids school and her parents. If you want to ruin a whole family including innocent children then it's a great way to do it.

The sad fact is even if his mate isn’t loyal, he isn’t going to see her as anything other than something to get off with. Harsh and grotesque, yes, but true.

No man is going to start a serious relationship with a woman who’s throwing herself at anyone with a knob while their husband is at the dinner table.

He might go for a ONS or a casual fling but he certainly won’t be thinking “she’s the one”.

If it doesn’t end in tears on Saturday night, it certainly will a few weeks/months down the line.

Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading the thread further.

This sort of behaviour I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at if you were a teen, or at uni- ie a young person with minimal responsibility who is hurt/wronged and doesn’t know how to process their emotions in a less damaging way.

But when you’re an adult with children you have to realise you can’t behave how you want to anymore.

I also find this scenario extra shitty because OP is just using this other guy. If he’s always had feelings for her he doesn’t deserved to be used as some sort of weird rebound toy where he’s being led on purposely to annoy someone else with no respect for his feelings.

And if he doesn’t have feelings then it just puts him in a really awkward situation.

It would be different if OP and husband were officially separated and she asked him out on a date a month or two later and was up front about the fact she wasn’t wanting anything serious, but to just use someone as a “fuck you” to your husband?

Really shitty behaviour.

Are you 15?

Grow the fuck up.

This is just so desperate op, and so sad you can’t see it. It just comes across as you’re so desperate you’re going to see if his best mate is up for it, can you not see when it comes to it the mate will stay loyal

join on line dating, have some dignity. Don’t just try it on with the nearest male.

This.

Oh God yes, OP's situation is toxic and trying it on with this friend is definitely the worst thing to do!

I can almost see the scenario playing out..... OP will probably drink too much in an effort to gain some confidence, this guy friend will either be a true gentleman, which will make OP feel like a fool for trying and this gets back to her DH and he then gets to play the poor husband card.

Or, worse, friend will take advantage and OP ends up doing the walk of shame home, and then DH gets to blame everything on OP and ends up looking like a victim of his crazy, floozy wife!!

Car crash either way!

I think the op needs a little less of that confidence that this friend is… interested in how supple she is??

I loved that show!! Oh to have Linda's confidence! 🤣🤣

It’s like revival of Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie and the op is playing Linda…

I m wondering if op is suffering a mental health episode, so please when she contacts again , maybe we should all bear the possibility that she may be having a manic episode or something similar, extreme risk taking, ranting at her husband etc.. and it would explain why the husband filmed her to show how she was acting when in an episode. Obviously I'm not a MH advisor nor have any knowledge of the OP but part of me is looking at the husbands actions, and something feels odd, perhaps the husband has just been beaten down, stays away from his wife, says he will not let her look after the kids alone....

I’m checking out of this thread, it’s absolutely pathetic. I feel sorry for the kids.

Yikes!! This is feeling like watching a car crash happening with no way of stopping it.

220 comments saying no don't do this and OP is like no fuck that, hold my beer!!