To stop my kids dad's new GF take my kids for the day

I can understand your feelings, I would feel very unsettled by it too but unfortunately I don't think you can do anything. If it's a Dad day he surely has authority to make these decisions. Sadly I think this is one of those horrible things that are part of a split family.

Not enough info. Do you trust her minding them or have you concerns about her? Does she have kids of her own/work with children/spend loads of time with kids in her family? Are there any medical/behavioural issues with your kids that make things difficult or tricky?

It's odd how we tend to trust women we barely know, if this was a bloke writing about his wife's new male partner, the responses would be very different. But I think you are right to be cautious if she is virtually unknown to you.

I agree it was an unfair comment, they don't know if it's a 50/50 agreement. If usually school would be his childcare while he works but as it's summer holidays the girlfriend offered to take them out, seems totally fine to me

I don't think it's anything to do with jealousy 🙄 I wouldn't be happy with my children under that age going off with someone they barely know without their dad present either.

He's obviously not bothered and probably happy to offload his responsibilities op but if it's his day for contact then there's not much you can do.

This is why a lot of women stay with the dads because they get to control more of what and who their young children are exposed to because they know how shit their partners/husbands are with the kids.

I feel sorry for you, do the children have phones so you can text and keep a bit of an eye on them?

How old are your kids?

Think this is an unfair comment , he could well be a loser who wants to dump his kids on their new girlfriend

However without knowing that for a fact he could also just be a dad who has to work and so cant go out for the day and neither the dad or girlfriend want the children to be left out

Personally I would be pleased the new girlfriend was so happy to involve the children surely better than him being so interested in his new relationships that the kids are left out ?

Why is he not being present on his children's visit .

Is he going to be one of those dad's that let's the new girlfriend do all the parenting.

What did he do before he had a new girlfriend and its ridiculous he's moving in with her so quickly.

A lot of woman are just like mothers even if they don't have children of their own, kind nurturing and loving. She sounds like she wants to take them out to enjoy themselves because she's kind.

My friend took on the role of dads gf to a 6 year old when she was 21 she absolutely didn't have to do that but she's still with him now and that little girl is now 16

I didn't know my dad untill I was 10 when he met his now wife who he told he had a daughter he hadn't seen for 9 years, her only condition to a 2nd date was that he get back in contact with his daughter. She didn't have children of her own yet.

My child's dads girlfriend encourages his dad to take him places and get out the house together, his Christmas presents are so female coded, but I appreciate it

It's HIS day so HE should be taking the kids out, not dumping them on his gf of 4 months

So I get where you're coming from. She's not a well known person to them and theme park is often massive, busy and can be dangerous. Is it a theme park that is close by? As in could you get there quickly if there was a problem or could she get the kids home easily if they were upset/overtired/unhappy?

But, you do need to keep in mind that she is the person their dad has chosen. He obviously deems her safe as he is willing to leave his kids with her. The kids have met her, slept in her house and will soon be living with her at least part time. They do need to spend time getting to know her and trust her. I'm just not sure a theme park is quite the right environment?

Since you have 2 kids as well, if she's the only adult then she won't be able to go on anything (unless they don't take any bags or anything...someone has to hold the stuff). So I'd be worried about whether she knows how closely she needs to supervise excitable kids in such a busy place.

That said, I'm imagining going to Alton Towers or something like that.

I used to take my stepson swimming all the time without dh - dh can't swim and it was something we both enjoyed so on that basis yabu although l understand your feelings too

But they would also be correctly saying that however unwise they generally think it is, her ex can't dictate it.

Is it his time with them?

Would you be happy with him having a veto over who you leave the children with when they're with you?

Not sure you get a say in it really. If it's his contact time then he gets to use whoever he wants for child care.

Nowt like spoiling a budding new relationship by adding 2 dc to it... Enjoy the day off op.
Make out you are happy for a bit of peace. Do not let him see you care... I befriended ex's new gf. It raged him. She rang me every week end the dc were there giving updates.. He hated that. And thy she was better with them than him.
Funnily enough - and very fucking funny imo.. they had a bit of swapping one Saturday night the dc were with me.
She ran off and married his best mate!!

Yabu.

You said under 10, so I presume they are nearer to age 10 than toddlers.

They have met, and like each other, she is going to be moving in, so will spend time with them regularly, and you want to put a spanner in the works rather than support a relationship with this woman, who will be important in their lives for no real reason at all.

Their dad trusts her, so you're going to have to accept that.

how old are the children have I missed that part?

just tell them if they get lost (which I'm sure they won't) go to staff member they're usually pretty easy to spot at a theme park, or a woman with children. Again easy to find in a theme park and ask for help.

unless he's saying an 18 year old girl with no brain cells she's gonna be just as nervous as you are about this abs desperate to do a good job

Nothing you can do but your ex is a loser who has outsourced the DC to his latest "support human"

He is probably over the moon (nob)

I feel there's a bit of double standards in the comments here.

If a mum had said "I've been dating a guy for 4.5 months and he's already met my kids, everyone would be going nuts saying that's too soon, you can't introduce your children to someone you've only been dating for less than 32 years and you should say he's only your friend!"

Whilst a day out is good thing, I do think the dad should be there too!

If it's jealousy, nothing more, YABU.

Is he going? If yes, YABU, it's good for him to start building a relationship with them and his partner. Her being there too, unless you have reason to believe she's a danger to them, is fine.

If not, though - has he offloaded his responsibility to another wife appliance? Is this actually a day he's supposed to be with them? Has he something he'd rather be doing, like, I don't know, golf? If so - nope. YANBU. He gets off his arse and does his dadly duty too.

Sorry but you have no right to dictate who your ex decides can look after your children during his custody time. Unless of course there was a cause for concern regarding safety etc.

You’re just falling straight into the irrational crazy ex category, sorry.

I can see why don't like this but if you kick up a fuss now, don't complain when she refuses to help with childcare later on down the line and it inconveniences you...

YABU. She’s just a babysitter that he sleeps with as far as your DC are concerned. You’d only have a leg to stand on if she is high or drunk or abusive while they are in her care. Why not go with them so you can get to know her?

I'm not saying i think they will be unsafe just saying if i DID feel that i would be against it. Suppose my argument would be one adult two kids, may get tricky if the kids want to go on different rides, one isn't tall enough etc At the least i'd want to meet her. Suppose it also comes down to how responsible the Dad is and if you trust him to make the right decisions for the kids

yabu if it’s his day tomorrow. He’s allowed to delegate childcare on his days to whoever he likes and if you veto this outing tomorrow then he’ll stop telling you in advance. If you took it to court then they’d say yabu