C Section is 'not a real birth'

General anaesthetic emergency c section. I didn’t feel like I’d given birth and I didn’t have a repeatable at baby groups birth story. So, I get how you feel, but deep down there are many ways to motherhood and it’s what happens going forward that really matters 💕

Nobody has believed that since Macbeth.

Hope you told them all to fuck off.

My first birth was a traumatic, lengthy vaginal birth that some might regard as natural. Induction, forceps, episiotomy, tears, weeks of agony to recover felt completely unnatural to me. Despite this, when pregnant with my second I spent 9 months debating with myself whether to try for a vaginal birth or opt for a planned section. Decided to try the natural route because I somehow felt I needed to and ended up with another induction and eventually emergency section. I wish I had just gone for a planned section. Despite the emergency section, it was actually still less scary and traumatic than the first time and helped me heal old mental wounds.

You and your baby come first, ignore the ridiculous notion placed on us by the minority that we have to experience a baby escaping our vagina to make us a mother. Growing and birthing a small human in any way makes you superwoman anyway. Good luck x

Well technically they are “unnatural” but so are all medical interventions. Would she berate a diabetic for using “unnatural” insulin?!

And calling it easy has never made sense to me. Would people refer to any other major surgery as “easy”?! I highly doubt it.

I'm so sorry you lost your lovely baby. 😢

And yeah it is utter drivel that a C-section isn't a real birth. FGS, a human is born/coming into the world. It's a birth. As a pp said, these same people probably think a baby born by IVF isn't a real baby. 🙄

Incredible the drivel that some women talk.
You did give birth.
The ideal outcome of a pregnancy is a healthy baby and a healthy mother and if that requires a CS then so be it.

But then I speak as someone who ended up with a baby who died at a day old because a CS wasn’t done in time.

Grow up!

100% nailed it with that post! Every last word. I also believe some of the negative/borderline spiteful comments about not having a vaginal birth, are borne out of jealousy, resentment, and bitterness.

I also agree that a planned C-section is the best way to go. I had an emergency C-section because of complications with the birth (with my first child...) I had an elective one for the second. Would not change a thing. You can all keep your 'natural births!' (And as has been said, much of it is not natural anyway! And also the only things women who have C-sections are missing out on are things they could well do without!)

'C-section is not a real birth' is such a stupid and ludicrous thing to say, that it's not worth even getting wound up about. Because it's farcical to the extreme and 100% untrue!

@user1492729177

I hated myself for not having a ‘natural birth’ especially because my milk never came in either.

If your milk did not 'come in' that's nothing to do with having a C-section. I had 2 C-sections, and had tons of milk. Why on earth would your milk not be there? You just had a baby! And why on earth would you hate yourself for not having a vaginal birth?

I’ve had 3 c-sections, all of them not too bad a recovery. I’d never want to change the experiences I had and don’t think there’s any reason to feel a lack of connection to the child or a feeling of failure. A c-section IS giving birth! It’s just a different method which, if it helps in producing a healthy baby, is no ‘less’ than giving birth ‘naturally’. We get no medals for pushing a baby out of our vaginas!!

I had an emergency c-section and I was glad about it. Rather my mid-section be cut to bits than my vagina. I never think 'I didn't really give birth', though nearly knocked the head off the father of my child who said this to me. I wanted a healthy baby, I got a healthy baby. That is a miracle. The rest isn't relevant IMO.

My first was an emergency c section and my second was delivered vaginally after only 4 hours of active labour the day before I was due to see my consultant to agree a date for a planned section. I had wanted to deliver vaginally for the same reasons as you but honestly, it wasn't a particularly fulfilling or 'magical' experience and the recovery was just as uncomfortable and difficult due to a huge tear. I guess I'm saying just do what feels right for you and try not to put too much importance on the delivery. Good luck whatever you decide.

Both my kids were born by section and yes I do feel that I missed out on an experience by not having a vaginal delivery.

Its not a case that I don’t think it’s a “real” birth and ultimately I’m just glad they both arrived safely, but I was disappointed that I will never experience that type of birth.

I felt exactly the same about womanhood / missing out on a rite of women centred experiences...until so many people told me how painful natural birth is I ended feeling relieved I hadn't gone through it!

@ebadame that makes sense. I hate GA too so would be terrified of that also!

That and they have to move quick so emotionally you haven't prepared for it. It's not calm. It's calm but urgent so adrenaline is at play. And you're usually conscious while they are rushing around you

They can fuck right off. I would consider talking to your midwife and seeing if there's any support that can be offered to your mental health

I had a planned c section and it was fine. Can anyone tell me why emergency is harder recovery? Interested to know. Is it due to the haste and urgency and the fact you may have been in labour?

I agree. I had SEVERE mental health issues after the birth of my youngest and a post like OP's would most likely trigger an "episode"

After 5 days labour and an emergency c-section I have never felt once that I didn’t give birth. In fact would be dead without it after losing 4 litres of blood and going into hypovolemic shock. My son would also be dead, severe sepsis and oxygen deprivation. It caused dreadful PPD and PPA for almost a year, due to the separation from my son and constant flashbacks and nightmares. Thankfully women have the choice these days and I wish I had chosen and ELCS instead of what I went through. Feel free to remind people without modern medicine that many of us would have died in childbirth or lost babies. Heaven forbid you should do anything ‘unnatural’ that you could help save your life.

Having had an emergency c section and a planned one a planned Q section recovery is much much quicker. (And my planned was with twins)

I hated myself for not having a ‘natural birth’ especially because my milk never came in either. However I am now 51 and I thank heavens I didn’t push out my 10 lb baby because I would be in a world of prolapse lol

I think the guidance changed around 2021 (although happy to stand corrected!), so if PP had her DC 10 years ago, then maternal choice quite probably wouldn’t have cut it in terms of reasons for an ELCS. Thankfully it does now, and I’m considering requesting one when I give birth (🙂) later in the year.

It’s absolutely giving birth, and I disagree that it’s ‘surgical extraction’ as a PP said (although any woman is within her right to use whatever terminology she likes to talk about her own births - but most of us here agree that ELCS and EMCS are absolutely ‘giving birth’). It’s not as though anyone goes around asking grown adults or even younger children (i.e. born more recently) how they came out of their mothers’ bodies, in any case. It just doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you and your baby are as healthy and happy as possible.

I hope not, I had my IVF baby by c-section! 🤭