C Section is 'not a real birth'

Trust me, the ONLY thing that matters is that you and the baby make it through as safely as possible!

I've had two vaginal births and an emergency c section after an induction. The induction was by far the most traumatic. One of my vaginal births only hurt for a couple hours or so and I was running up and down stairs the next day. It's luck of the draw what labour you get. You did 6 fucking days of labour before you had the c section how is that the easy way to do it? Personally if I even had to labour again I would go naturally or a planned section no fucking way would I consent to another induction with the state of maternity services currently.

The labour is a tiny part of growing and raising a child. Your value doesn't derive from how you birth your children don't let anyone make you feel less for that. 6 days and the recovery from major surgery makes you a hero. Don't be a martyr and choose that again if it's not your preference just to meet these stupid expectations out on women

I had an emergency C section with my only DC and my abusive husband told me I couldn’t even give birth properly. A birth is a birth and as long as you and the baby are healthy, it’s all good.

Well lots of things are unnatural, but doesn’t make them bad. Without the advances in science for IVF I wouldn’t have my baby, and without the advances in healthcare many women and babies wouldn’t survive birth.

Honestly I heard so many people saying ‘women’s bodies are made for birth’ but actually not all are. I was so happy to have a c-section and meet my baby.

💐 for very many women and babies on this thread.

I can't comment on having these thoughts because I have never felt that way, but I did have a planned section due to concerns about gd and it was a really wonderful experience. I saw it very much as me doing what I needed to get my son safely into the world and respecting the need for my body to also be safe. I still made a birth plan and did a lot of research around how sections can be made less clinical (obviously they will always be a surgery at the end of the day but there are some elements you can control) and that helped me feel it was more empowering as originally I'd wanted a natural water birth.

I also did so much research into recovery as part of trying to weigh up my options and there was a really marked difference in the recovery for women who had an emergency section and women who had a planned section. My recovery was very straight forward and isn't something that would put me off doing it again. You just need to plan your support a little more for right after.

I have never felt like I didn't "give birth" to ds and never felt like I missed out on a vaginal delivery. I think op that's probably more the trauma of your birth talking because you didn't get to have the positive experience you'd hoped for so maybe you're trying to recreate that now instead of looking at it like an opportunity to have a safe and very positive delivery this time.

You could ask if your hospital has a birth preferences consultant and maybe ask if you can review your notes from your previous birth to help you understand why things happened the way you did and to have the time and space to sit with someone and weigh up your options and the pros and cons and risks that go with each? I found that really helpful when I was trying to work out what to do.

I had a fully elective c/s with my baby because I never ever wanted to give birth vaginally. I didn’t want to be potentially damaged in that area and honestly it was so peaceful and easy. Quick baby is out in 5 - 7 mins once they start and then you’re back on the ward in 30. My epidural was left in for 3 days so I was comfortable and could press the button for more drugs whenever I needed them. For me, it was magic and just what I hoped for. So was my beautiful baby.

Ehm no… it’s still giving birth. What a load of rubbish.

What would you prefer? You give birth vaginally to “feel” more like a woman?! And the baby ends up brain dead or worse?!

I can’t bear these threads. The only thing that matters is the safety of you and your baby!!

I had one woman now no longer a friend tell me I shouldn’t have a c section bc it’s surgery … if I hadn’t have a c section DC wouldn’t be here.

I had a planned c section: it was a lovely calm experience and I recovered very quickly.

a c section after a stressful time in labour is a completely different ball game: you are already injured and exhausted before the c section.

in no way do I think I didn’t have a proper birth or that im not a proper mum: that’s just nonsense that women are giving themselves a hard fucking time about for no reason. So stop it

Like you I had a failed induction & emcs, shocking traumatic experience.
Planned section for the second, because otherwise they wanted to induce again and no way in hell was that happening.
Not saying it was easy altho recovery was much better, but it was actually a really positive experience.
Date was planned for a week after my due date just in case I went into labour myself, but apparently I make an extremely comfy womb, and no one was leaving by choice!
One thing I found helpful was I asked them to drop the drape so I could see baby born/come out (you can’t actually see that much) but I think it helped me to feel more involved rather than someone suddenly presenting a baby I didn’t feel was anything to do with me.

Yes this. Also, the mother probably hasn’t slept for a very long time. Every part of the mother is at its weakest point due to exhaustion. That coupled with the consultant urgently removing the baby means the healing process is unlikely to be perfect. You end up severely bruised and battered in some situations.

With my elective, I remember my consultant taking so much time and care over the incision. He positioned it about 2mm below by public line (which he had advised me to have waxed before hand). The incision was perfectly straight and as short as possible. You would have to really try and look to see it now 12 years later.
That doesn’t happen in an emergency. My friend’s is very long, wobbly and therefore healed badly. Because it was done in a split second as her baby’s heart had stopped beating.

I struggled with both my emergency sections. I think because I'm a perfectionist who is terrified of failure. I also loathe needing other people so the realisation that without help both dc1 (well and truly wedged mid pelvis after 80 odd hours of labour, 2 plus hours of pushing and failed forceps) and I would have died was hard to come to terms with.

The psychiatrist I ended up in front of said that all the issues we repress from our own childhoods seem to rise up during birth and the early years of parenthood. That was certainly my experience.

I really wanted a natural birth, with no induction or epidural. Unfortunately things did not go to plan for me, and I totally understand how you feel. Be glad you are both healthy and you will forget about this soon enough, as you have more challenges ahead. I'm still bummed out now when I think about it, but not upset like I was. You'll be ok

The easy way out? It was an emergency, if you hadn’t had one either you or your baby or most likely both of you would have died! Would you mum have preferred that??

remove yourself from these toxic people OP.

Me (1981) nor my brother (1984) wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for c’section.

nearly killed my Mum twice as could not go to full term, was on bed rest from month 4 or 5 so pre eclampsia and in 84 was sterilised after second pregnancy. We’re not adopted as there are polaroids in scubo.

Emergency sections are also a lot less gentle, the mother is not conscious. It’s a traumatic experience both physically and psychologically.

Do you really care? Maybe speak to someone about your low self esteem and why you put some much stock into what other people say. If someone turned round and said that to me I would laugh in their face (same situation IVF and c-section) and it wouldn’t cross my mind again @concretevase

Also, let’s be honest here, Victoria Beckham like most dancers is absolutely tiny with a pelvis the size of your average house sparrow. (And before any natural birth devotee pipes up about ‘my 4ft 8 friend/great aunt/sister’s friend’s aunt’s cousin had 15 10 pound babies naturally’ I shall call BS, there may be exceptions but it’s common sense). She would have been well aware her body wasn’t built to push out babies naturally.

I got pregnant because I wanted children. Not because I wanted to ‘experience natural birth’. Personally think it’s odd that’s what you’re focused on. The only reason I’d have wanted a natural birth is if it would be easier on me getting my baby but so many friends and statistics have told me that’s not always the case. I’ve 3 close friends who lost their babies at birth. I just wanted my baby here safely. First baby c section due to pre eclampsia. Second baby it’s early days but it’ll definitely be a planned section all going well. Already can’t wait to meet them. @concretevase

Of course you gave birth. I often say that in a line of 5 year old children you will never know who was a CS or VB, who was bottle or breastfed, who walked at 9 months or 18 months. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter.

And I’m saying this as a mother who has had four vaginal births including two home births and has breastfed all four of my babies for over a year. It doesn’t make me any better than someone who had a CS and bottlefed.

I’ve had 2 c-sections. First was an emergency c-section following failed induction due to expected large baby. Second time, baby was big again so was given option of induction at 38w again or planned c-section…I took the c-section as i did not want to go through another induction.

Am I a bit gutted that i didn’t get to have a natural delivery with either? Yes BUT both my boys arrived safely with no issues so I really couldn’t care less about how they got here.

Seems on this post you’re not allowed to say it! You also need to tear down women who have a vaginal birth as being ripped to shreds and trouble with coughing and not wetting themselves.

Id just embrace it as a surgical birth. Call it what you want. This thread shows both sides say awful things regardless how your baby gets here.

My understanding is that usually with an EMCS, the mother has already been in labour, and so the uterus is contracting and the baby is in a less ideal position, both of which make it much harder physically and emotionally than an ELCS.

Birth sounds fucking horrendous. I've got an adopted child and I'm no less woman.

Total nonsense. Of course it’s a “real” birth and who cares what anyone else thinks. Much safer for baby and you anyway and with less complications going forwards than a vaginal birth.

Elective c section here btw that ended up in an emergency c section as DS decided to arrive 6 weeks early. 6 rounds of IVF hence elective…..that baby was coming out as fast as he possibly could after all we’d been though to get him here.

An emergency c section and a planned c section are like night and day.

my second baby was a planned c section and it healed all the trauma of the emergency c section.

just enjoy your baby op