C Section is 'not a real birth'

Nope.
My four children were extracted from my uterus in what I have always felt was an unnatural procedure.

No way did I give birth. And I regret that. And that's what this thread is about. Women who feel sadness that they didn't give birth.

Thanks for you sympathy. My milk never ‘came in’ because I never did labour at all and my body is incapable of giving birth. And I felt bad because it was not what I wanted. Nice to see women supporting women.

Thanks for you sympathy. My milk never ‘came in’ because I never did labour at all and my body is incapable of giving birth. And I felt bad because it was not what I wanted. Nice to see women supporting women.

I had my children forty years or so ago. I had a planned C section with my first and eighteen months later had my second vaginally. I could have pressed for a C section as I have a narrow pelvic exit but friends encouraged me to have a natural birth.

I really regret it now. I was cut and I tore, and I was badly bruised. Sex was always uncomfortable after this. I have had three prolapse operations and added complications since.

After the planned C section I was up and about early and recovered quickly but after the so called natural birth, I didn't get out of bed for over a week.

I had two caesareans; one emergency and one planned. Of all the horrors of natural birth I’ve heard about from friends, chatting at toddler group etc, I’ve never once felt like I’ve missed out on anything! I’m all good to have dodged vaginal tearing of whatever degree thank you very much! Am absolutely fine with my lack of womanhood or whatever!!

I had an emergency section and it saved my and my baby's life. I had actively tried to avoid this in my birth plan but when I look back now, the fact I could have this option meant a tragedy was avoided. As far as I'm concerned you've still given birth to a new human.

I notice there is a midwife poster previously who states she sees sections as 'surgical extractions'. My response to this is, if there had been less constant nudging towards a vaginal birth at all costs from the midwifery team and more upfront info about my options of a section I probably would've avoided what was a traumatic experience.

I'm pregnant again and going straight for elective section, no if's or but's and certainly no guilt.

In all honesty, I get a little bit bloody sick of women being treated as if they've done half a job when they've carried a child for 9 months but not given birth 'naturally'

i had a planned after a failed induction/emergency c/s and the two couldn’t have been more different. Yes I would’ve liked a vbac, but it would never had happened anyway cos of how the baby was lying.
It was a much more relaxed procedure, I was rested, dh was more involved and the recovery for me was much quicker. I was bent over like a crone after the emergency but sprung up much quicker after the elective.
Yes you don’t go through the Labour and emotions of giving birth vaginally, it’s more medicalised but it was still a decent experience for me.

My first was via emergency C section after being induced 2 weeks post due date. My second I deliberated for a long time over whether to try for VBAC or just go for C-section again. In the end I couldn't get the niggling feeling out of my head that it would just go the same way again. So elected for C-section second time too. And let me just tell you that the recovery second time was soooo much easier having not already spent 2 days being enduced with little progress, all the drugs and no sleep.
If they are recommending C-section again, just go with it. Its not like everyone has lovely natural births anyway is it?! Who cares what anyone else says. I've come to realise that a lot of people (older especially!) just want you to do things the same way they did, for no other reason than thats the way they did it. Its like they need to the verification or something.

My story nearly the exact same as yours, induction due to GDM, waters broken by mistake, baby went into foetal distress so emergency C-section. Second one GDM again. Planned c- section during covid, DH a consultant so hardly any paternity leave, and high risk of getting covid. I got an infection on my stitches post c section and needed antibiotics, really suffered a lot with no help and toddler. Please be kind to yourself. It is not a competition. Do what the Doctors recommend C-section is major surgery and not in any way the “easy way out”!

Then you know you are talking bollocks. You gave birth - by c-section. You still gave birth.

Stop talking utter guff then if you're a midwife.

It's not nonsense.
I'm a midwife and I know what giving birth is, thank you very much.

You are not missing out on womanhood by doing C-Section. Vaginal births give you perineal tears (up to grade 4!!! - that's at least 2 tissues), and C-Section is a lot harder - 7 tissues that need to be cut and stitched up! So if anything, C-Sections are harder to recover from and definitely deserve a lot of respect for the mother to go through this.

A birth of Ceasar, what could be better!

Nonsense. The "surgical extraction" of a c-section is another means of giving birth. So of course you gave birth, as did I and many others on here when we had our sections.

Ebadame

Not 100%, I also have very small feet so my consultant guessed my pelvic outlet would be small and 25 years ago was unwilling to scan me to check. Turned out he had a very large head which is why he was breach and wouldn't have gone through my pelvis.

@dragonfliesandbees Totally agree. Too many posters here are so dismissive of a women's feelings. It's horrible and can sideline women into bit players or observers of their own experience

Please stop telling women that their feelings and preferences don’t matter. Safety of mother and baby is obviously the most important thing but not the only important thing. This has been said a few times on this thread. I’m sure it’s well meaning but I really wish people would think before being so dismissive.

If a woman wants to experience a vaginal birth and it doesn’t work out that way it’s perfectly understandable that she may feel disappointed or upset. That won’t change because someone else says it doesn’t matter! If it matters to her then it matters. It doesn’t make her any less of a woman or any less of a mother but she is still allowed to feel and to express that she wishes things could have gone differently.

To make matters worse I have convinced myself that if I don't push a baby out I am missing out on something about womanhood.

I have had a natural birth, and a C section.

There is no difference to how I got my baby, how well they were, or how I breastfed them. There is no difference in bond.

The only difference is that other people make you feel you are in the wrong. It’s another made up stick to beat us with.

It’s bullshit.

What matters is a healthy baby, and a happy mummy.

Is that how they decide? If your husband is a foot taller? Genuinely interested in this.

Mine they decided do to the position of the breach and the lack of fluid

C-section saved my life as a baby as my mother got into difficulty. It also saved my life 8 months ago when we discovered one of my twins had died in utereo and the emergency section saved his brother who lived for 4 days and gave us a chance to meet him and spend time with him.

Am I any less of a mother? I hope not. I'm a mother of two angels now.

Best wishes for welcoming a new lottle person into the world. The best way to do that is the way that keeps mum and baby as healthy as possible. I had one emergency c section for baby number 1 and then one planned c section. The planned one was amazing, such a beautiful experience compared to the emergency version. It is not a failure. I went to the vbac clinic and asked if they could guarantee I wouldn't end up in emergency c section territory again. They couldn't so I went for the elective. Best decision I made. Whatever you decision you make will be the right one for you and baby.

Had 2 natural births followed by a c section. Can't say I felt any differently towards the c section birth than the first two, still felt I was going through an ordeal, which is what child birth is really. The natural ones were easiest to recover from overall id say.

25 years ago I had a C Section due to an undiagnosed breech baby, Husband a foot taller than me so turning not an option, back in the day we would both have died, very grateful to both be here and he's very much my son

Jesus. What a rubbish way if thinking OP. I had natural birth and i had c section too. I love my babies the same and i feel a real mother. I even feel more real mother when i did c section because i’m happy with the processed. Not like natural birth too painful and too tired. I didnt have any connection with my baby straightaway when i do natural birth because its bloody painful and tired. But its different with c section. The love and the connection its rushing when you see your baby for the first time.

Nah bollocks to that. I had a vaginal birth, tore terribly and wrecked my vag so much that I needed surgical repair.

My elective c section was an absolute piece of cake by comparison. I wish I hadn't bothered trying to give birth vaginally. At least once a day I'm reminded of the damage it did me.

Crack on with your c section. It's not as if they come round the labour ward afterwards and give you a medal for 'most womanly birth'.