To think that wedding s never used to be such a ‘thing’?

They were the norm. And we are talking about the 90s.

Also the guest list was almost entirely relatives. One of the ways wider families kept together was attending each others weddings (The other was funerals).

Less incentive for an evening party do if the fellow guests are your aunts and great aunts

Big part of the wedding was the "going away" - everyone gathering while the bride, in her "going away outfit" and groom settled into the car and were seen off on their honeymoon,

Your wedding sounds just like mine, OP. I got married in 1988 and wasn't particularly interested in the planning or the day. We were getting married because we wanted to settle down and start a family fairly soon. It wasn't about the wedding day.

I had a dreadful over the top Victorian high necked dress with shit loads of ruffles and frills and pearl buttons and huge puff sleeves with handkerchief hems. I had a hoop as well. I think it was the first one I tried on, but I don't think there was lot of choice in the local bride shop. We had prawn cocktail starters, some sort of chicken, I think, and pavlova for pudding.

I looked like a bargain basement Princess Di.

I got married last year and we done register office with a meal at our local pub after with family then friends joined afterwards for drinks :) the pub decorated the back room beautiful & we had a cake from M&S. decor was from Shein/amazon. My dress was the most expensive thing at 1k for all but my sister kindly paid for this. (We were on a budget)!! We had an amazing day and I was worried I'd regret not putting a huge wedding on our credit card but looking back I am so so glad we didn't as we and all our guests had an amazing day and is cost us less than 1k (not including my dress!)

Although I see big weddings from friends and families of mine and I do think they are equally beautiful

YANBU weddings are so ott nowadays. Stag and hen party's that are more like a holiday than a night out. 5 bridesmaids/bestmen. Everything seems to be unnecessarily elaborate and showy. Honestly I don't think people enjoy it anymore than a simple wedding and I certainly don't think it makes for a better marriage

I married for the second time in 2007, it was a very small and cheap affair but suited us and was exactly what we wanted, no fuss.

I think a lot of these huge expensive show weddings have come about due to the pressures of social media and the Americanisation of our culture - so many young people wanting the 'big day' and getting into debt for it. I find it incomprehensible that someone would spend the same on a single day as they would for a car or a deposit on a home, it's just not worth it in my eyes.

Same for baby showers, baby gender reveals, baby/wedding showers etc. etc. I mean I'm all for celebrations and family get togethers and parties but all these themed celebrations seem to come come with gift lists, expectations of money and generally hosted by people with main character syndrome..

100% mortgages were fairly uncommon even in the 1980s, although they definitely were available. And most boomers are too old to have benefited from 100% mortgages on their first properties.

As someone has said, 100% mortgages were not the norm. We needed a 10% deposit on the purchase of our first property, a one bedroom flat, in 1986.

That’s a good point about the relaxation of venues. .Prior to this, it wasn’t unusual to go to the same venues several times in one season, usually one of a couple of churches, with the reception being held in your nearest local ‘posh’ hotel.

Maybe another different compared to yesteryear is thatched parents paid for the wedding, so the

I think it used to be roughly 4 times the average salary and is now closer to eight times.

I said to DH the other day as he commented on someone at his work booking their wedding for 2027, that some people want to get married and some people want a wedding.

There was a period when you didn't need a deposit, but could get a 100% mortgage, but when I bought in the early 80s you still needed a 5%, or better, 10%, deposit. The big differences are a) house prices (I lived through when it changed mortgage being based on man's income only, to mortgage on 3 x man plus 0.5 woman, to 3x larger income plus 0.5 times smaller), so of course prices have risen to match even more so in the SE and b)rent - there was a stage where you could pay rent or you could pay noticable more than your rent in mortgage but you got a house at the end of it. Landlords did not expect to fund their mortgage (actually bank loan because it was hard to get a mortgage if your were letting) out of the rents received. Now, you either pay rent, or you pay less than your rent and get a free house too. That's the wrong way round!

I have just seen photos of an ex colleagues wedding on social media. The bride is very SM focused and the whole thing seems to have been done with that in mind. It is a mind boggling amount of money that the couple have spent on it, all for one day. She had 2 dresses, the flowers were like something from a TV show or film. Each to their own but the extravagance of this particular wedding seems really off.

In 1984 my aunt and uncle took out a huge loan they couldn't afford for their daughter's huge church wedding - meringue dress, 6 bridesmaids, horse drawn carriage, a huge show.

In 1993 my friends worked two jobs for 2 years to afford their massive wedding with the reception in a stately home.

I got married in a registry office then out for lunch.

It's always been a big deal for some and a small affair for others.

Wow! It certainly was easier...

To be fair that sounds way better than the ones now😁

People used to get married so there was a wedding.

Now people have weddings to be married. married seems to become the second part of the wedding.

Problem is all these brides and grooms don’t seem to realise half their weddings all look the same anyway. So they shunned the church for a big fancy hotel, like 80% of the rest of their peers so all their weddings are indenta kit which ironically they seem to want to avoid as theirs has to be bigger and better but it isn’t unless your one of this family’s who actually come from money. With their week long stags and hens costing more than a simple wedding. Get their Instagram photos and looks exactly like their besties.

Life is different though, isn't it?

Because for many, lots of previous 'luxuries' are now everyday items and occurrences.

Things like eating out, new clothes, gadgets, beauty, have become common for many.

Therefore, celebrations' have had to raise the bar.

Easter Egg Hunts
Baby Showers
Christmas Eve boxes
Elf on the Shelf
School Leavers Proms
Gender reveals

I'm not sure these were as widespread in the 90s.

It's lifestyle meth. To get the lifestyle hit, you have to go further and further.

Yes, this absolutely.

You could only get married in your own church or your own registry office. I couldn't marry in church as the groom was divorced, and I had to maintain I lived at my parents' address to be able to marry from their house. We had to get a special registration to use a ground floor room as the registry office was on the first floor with no lift and my mother used a wheelchair.

Since the everyone was going to be married in the local church (with only a few poor souls in the registry office) there wasn't the pressure to make your wedding memorable.

@Shockvote 100% mortgages were fairly uncommon even in the 1980s, although they definitely were available. I think the earnings to house price ratio was fairly similar for both properties we bought in the 1979s and 1980s as they are today. I often see people commenting on their mortgage repayments on Mumsnet, but back in around 1980 when we bought our second property, our mortgage cost us £600 per month, which was about 75% of our take home pay, and inbetween exchange and completion, our mortgage interest rate went up to 18%. It came back down reasonably quickly but stayed at 16% for a very long time. A single figure interest rate was something that people in my generation could only dream of.

I got married in 2010. Honestly it was not that expensive. I got a dress for £300 (expensive) which fitted so no alterations. Local church, for a one o clock wedding, friends restaurant for food between lunch and dinner service less than 1k as they let us off with corkage and got wine direct from wholesaler. Party in the evening, again local, friends were the band it was great. Didn’t get lots of gifts as asked people to help. Take photos: play music etc. Home made cakes. Did my own flowers/ table flowers. It was less than £4k all in which is a lot but seems like it would barely touch the sides now.

Two or three generations back, weddings were still a big cost shouldered mainly by the Brides parents. Definitely still money spent on flowers cake cars etc. but most couples would be also setting up home together post wedding so the gift list was important to help furnish their home. So expensive hen and stags. Long haul honeymoons. Bands. Two or even three catered meals. Free bars etv just weren't in budget. Plus the happy couple generally left after the speeches

Yeah you could get 100% mortgages it was normal. So you didn't need deposits.

I'm 66. Most people getting married these days are young to me.

I don't necessarily have an issue with people who want big fancy weddings.... what irritates me is the expectation these people have on everyone else. Give up a week of your annual leave for the hen do in Spain which will cost you a couple of grand then give up another few days annual leave for the actual wedding and travel miles and miles and pay for a hotel or go abroad blah blah blah.