Parents new “friend”

I would be worried, this happened locally to me.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-68632224
Cuckooing happens alot but thankfully doesn't always lead to murder. I would be keeping a very close eye.

attention, a bet?

I think your parents are being groomed and Tracy doesn't want you getting in the way of her plans.

Hence why Tracey isn't friendly to the OP, she knows she's on to her...

The will issue is interesting in that they are likely 25 to 30 years away from that benefiting Tracey.

It's a sentimental promise that has little meaning now as people change their wills to the prevailing circumstances as they get much older, and at 60 or so there's a lot of unpredictability.

OP will be retired then and her daughter will be late middle age potential with great grandchildren. Tracey's unlikely to go the distance.

Intense relationships burn out, Tracey will find a partner and lose interest in her adopted parents once someone else has become her fixation. They will be ghosted.

I would start to chat about Tracey's future, does she want to marry and have kids? Are they going to be their grandchildren? Cousins? Nephews and nieces? Allude to the total integration they have started up for the whole family unwittingly.

This reminds me of someone DH knows. His parents went on holiday and made friends with a young chap (I think in his 20s) from another country (somewhere in Europe IIRC). They come home from hols, young chap comes to stay. DH friend a bit surprised. They announce young chap is staying for a while. DH friend a bit suspicious. Young chap is still there several months later. Turns out he's the mum's bit on the side, dad is fully aware and on board with him moving into the family home! So weird.

Seperately, one of my exes had an acquaintance who actually got quite rich off the back of making friends with lonely older people and getting himself included in their wills, he inherited a house off one old lady. He was very calculating about it, made himself indispensable while they were alive, doing errands, DIY etc. So it is definitely a thing that some people do.

Can you invite a chatty old friend that your parents know to the family BBQ “Mum, Dad, isn’t it wonderful to see my school friend Barbara again” and ask Barbara to ask Tracy questions (to get some info on her as knowledge is power), mainly so that Tracy can’t say to your Mum and Dad that you are being nosy and unfriendly to her. Or invite more family members so they can see how it is between Tracy and your parents.

I don't want to be outing but this happened a relative of mine. The 'Tracy' in question was a smart operator insofar as she slowly isolated my relative over a number of years until it was too late. She abused him and fleeced him.

I think your parents are being groomed and Tracy doesn't want you getting in the way of her plans.

If I was to go back in time, I think we all would have been a lot more vocal about our concerns.

Please PLEASE talk to your sibling and extended family about this, go to the BBQ so they can also observe the dynamic and grill her with questions and then raise your concern with your parents. You don't have to paint the picture of them being elderly or anything like that but you can tell them that grooming for subsequent financial abuse can happen over many years.

Tracy needs to be told to fuck off, preferably by your parents.

OP has already said she has 1 sibling

I can't think of many situations in which I'd seriously advise someone to employ a private investigator if they can afford to... but in this case, I really would. You need info - and urgently.

I also think it's unlikely that both of your parents are equally bonded with Tracey - it's possible one of them (perhaps your Dad, as he initially met her at the gym) is more into playing the hero / saviour and the other is going along with it to be kind, but is not as committed? If you can figure out who might be more open to a conversation, maybe try to have a private one on one chat with them first?

As she's dismissive of you, how you establish what her intentions are towards your parents is more than likely one of your greatest concerns.

You are right to be suspicious, just warn your parents not to give her any money in case she is trying to groom them.

She's filling them with sob stories in order to manipulate and get your parents on her side and away from you. A tactic to isolate people or a person from their nearest and dearest, to use people for their own toxic intentions.

Your parents need to be aware of her attitude to you. There is a chance she may see you as a possible threat to her 'goal' what ever that may be, hence the reason why she's distant from you but not with your parents.

I am certain, if you can contact and speak with a person who knows her well, such as her own parents and find out from them what she is like, this may help you to keep your parents fully informed and hopefully keep them safe.

Very very odd!

But I'd tread very slowly and carefully.

They're only in their 60s so you should have time.

@MounjaroUser Ah yes!

My first take was that the OP didn't use the woman's real name.

@Itllbealrightonthenight you haven't answered my question. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?

PS - if he wants to gift her a grand or two for making them smile at the end, fair play. But don’t write her in at offspring level after a six month whirlwind.

Which parent is driving this more than the other? Your dad I suspect.

Could you confide in your Mother and see if she shares any of your concerns?

Certainly remain tuned in here. Otherwise I feel there is certainly risk of financial agendas aimed at unconscious incompetents.

Posted too soon! It's a name I associate with someone my age, ie 60s. If you can afford it, I would get a private investigator. I can see of no good reason this woman has weaselled her way in.

My first take is that Tracey is a very old fashioned name for a 26year old, it's a

Op I’d be worried about her being a ‘Trojan horse’ by trying to bring herself into your parents life. There is something I always find strange about over keen people who want to be around a certain person/ people all the time. They often have an agenda and almost always want something. I’ve had to distance myself from an over keen ‘friend’ lately because it was obvious what she was trying to do. Then the requests for childcare came which I nipped in the bud as I was already prepared for it.

My guess is she’s trying to butter your parents up and keep them sweet in the hope they will eventually borrow her money in return for being their ‘daughter’. Or maybe include her in their will or something similar. She is already being fed by them multiple times a week! She seems a bit of a user to me.

I would try and speak to your parents about it first. However, in my experience people refuse to believe anything negative about such a ‘wonderful’ person until it’s too late as they’ve already fallen for their manipulative ways. You may just have to wait and see what happens and keep an eye on her.

Private investigators are mostly conmen

@Holdthisgoodweather you know exactly what you were implying, the age the OP became a mother at and the age her parents became grandparents has absolutely no bearing on the situation posted. We can see right through you and all your false “oh my gosh” attitude.

I know someone who became a grandparent at 37. She had her first child quite young and her first child has also had a child quite young. It is possible to become a grandparent at a young age, just not very common.

I think this might be on the money... its an unusual pairing with your parents

However a possibility that nobody else has mentioned is that she may not be a con woman and instead be someone who has a personality disorder like BPD that forms intense attachments very quickly. This would not only explain why she was cold with you but also why she keeps trying it on with your daughter despite getting clear signs of rejection.

I also think inviting her dad along to all the family events is also a good idea.
You can get more info and it shines a light in that corner...

RunningThroughMyHead is not wrong but id temper it slightly. leave out the "I'm watching you... social services" and add "I also saw you eyeing up my daughter as did she. It's totally inappropriate and ypu were so aggressive, shes now very uncomfortable being around you as a result."

The dynamic of it odd. They’ve known each other for months, and suddenly they do everything together, and apparently she’s in your parents will? If this is true, she’s absolutely taking money from them, and emotionally manipulating them.

I’ve got much older friends my parents age from work that I’ve known for donkeys years. One of them is definitely a parental figure and we do loads together and get on like a house on fire. I’m really close to my mum though and it’s sort of like having two of them, which is amazing.

From what you describe it’s a bit like love bombing. As I said, she’s either getting money off them, or about to go for the jugular.

It’s worth reading this. This couple were only in their early 60s too.
BBC article