Parents new “friend”

Op to change your will isn't as easy as just calling the solicitor to say make a change please. It will cost money and need to be witnessed and so on and it's actually a rather annoying process. Does he really value this person this much to go to all the trouble of doing this after just 6 months.. are your parents really this silly ? If they are you really need to speak up in front of everyone. How can random Tracey think it's OK to go in their will? How can both your parents think this is ok?

You don’t have to be frail and elderly to be taken advantage of. I know someone in their 20s who was targeted for money and that started out as a ‘friendship.’

It sounds like she's filling a gap that you and your daughter are leaving? And I don't mean that unkindly. Your parents have latched onto her through needs of their own that aren't being fulfilled. You say that they have a large circle of family and friends but if that's true, surely there wouldn't have been a place for Tracey to fill.

Between your DD and yourself, and roping in other family, I would make sure that someone is nearly always with them and make it very clear to Tracey that there is no place for her in their lives. No one needs to fall out or make drama, but at the moment she's had the space and opportunity to get her feet under the table. So take that away from her. And I would also involve the Police by letting them know your concerns. Your parents sound very vulnerable, not a nice thing to address but she could be sharing their details with anyone.

Nannycam? Are you suggesting that OP spys on her early 60s only just retired and apparently quite compos mentis parents?
If one of my DC did that I would be tempted to cut them out of my will.
And all those people saying power of attorney - can that be used to stop someone who has capacity doing what they want with their money because the person holding the POA feels it's the wrong decision?
That sounds abusive to me.
The situation sounds odd,and a bit concerning - but these aren't frail elderly people (I'm early 60s!)

@Itllbealrightonthenight This sounds seriously dodgy. You'll have to pay careful attention with this interloper.

Very odd and in my experience, and others I've seen, it never ends well.

Personally similar happened to me with a girl and my Dad, humored the whole thing (thankfully my Dad isn't daft and knew what she was about)

The whole dynamic of it being very intense normally means it either fizzles out or ends explosively, Id definitely do do digging about her though OP.

Watch she isn't after a will and will fraud one. I heard of this happening and the 3 adult children were too scared and lost out. Lost around 400k. The guy who did also wormed his way in. Its disgusting and to be honest I wonder of karma will come around.

The worst of it is that he made her sign the will on the deathbed. She only wanted to leave him a small percentage instead he took the lot except a small amount. Worst thing no proof so could never be charged.

Thoughts?

So your parents are in their early 60’s, both retired.
Your daughter is 23 years old.
Your parents recently met Tracey who is 26 and Tracey now calls your parents Mum and Dad.

My immediate thought is that it is the school holidays.

Blinking heck. My daughter doesn’t even really like our DIL of 18 years calling us mum and dad!

I agree with letting her know you’re keeping a close eye on her and definitely call her out on the mum and dad thing.

Sounds daft, but have your parents got a dog? Sounds like they could do with something to look after. Maybe suggest a puppy?

OP, tread very carefully here.

Once she is in the will, your parents could be at risk.

I too would be doing some deep dives into her and her circumstances. Maybe she has mental health issues or equally she could just be a calculating individual with ill intent. Either way, she seems to be worming her way in and needs to be stopped.

Sounds to me like she is after a place in the will

Don’t be silly. Everyone should have POA set up for themselves, even if you are young or in good health. Anything could happen, would you really want your local authority to have to make decisions on your behalf? Or a family member you love and trust?

Crikey. She sounds like a piece of work.
To call them mum and dad is very strange indeed. And it obviously doesn't suit her narrative to have you around, OP!
I'd be very surprised if they hadn't spent anything on her already. If not, that will come.
YANBU and I don't blame you for feeling worried, upset and annoyed.

Op you are right to be worried and I think you should be vocal.

Well it seems Op tried that & it put their backs up!

Sometimes parents get bitter, think children are too wrapped up in their own lives and don’t get in touch with them enough. They seize on a young person like Tracey who takes notice of them and spends a lot more time with them than their own children do.

Tbh if my parents did that it would probably make me pull away more.

Want to substitute me because I don't do what you think I should-fill your boots!

I don’t blame you at all for being suspicious. Especially given she is quite dismissive of you as the actual daughter.

Yep I know to some this will sound ott but in this day and age where ppl do con their way into others lives it's better to be safe then sorry. I'd be doing the exact thing in this post if it were my parents. Even if it's innocent it's certainly not healthy to attach yourself at the age of 26 on to a couple way way older then you. And going to the gym with your dad, why ??? Op you are right to be worried and I think you should be vocal.

its beginnning to sound very odd. The gay body builder, the will and the doddery 60 somethings.

I would tread carefully - I’m the age of your parents, fully compos mentis, and would not appreciate my ACs trying to tell me who my fiends should be.

But would you be letting said friends call you Mum/Dad & leaving them something in their will?

You are probably very busy! But -
Sometimes parents get bitter, think children are too wrapped up in their own lives and don’t get in touch with them enough. They seize on a young person like Tracey who takes notice of them and spends a lot more time with them than their own children do. There’s something in it for both sides -

• for Tracey, meals, treats, attention,
• for the parents, attention and a way of letting you know that if you are sometimes too busy, here’s diligent Tracey to fill the gap.

Our aunt went down this road, in her 80s. She began referring to a friend’s daughter as her own, because they had stuff in common and she was not seeing enough of her own daughters. Her own daughters got pretty upset but the result was they were very careful to keep more in touch with their mother.
The Will suggestion is a red flag. It could be your parents saying indirectly, we might leave money to someone like Tracey if she seems more of a daughter to us.
Don’t give Tracey the satisfaction and stay close to your parents.

It's a good idea for everyone to have LPA lined up while fit and well. My mother set one up after dad died. It doesn't get used until you lose capacity but if you wait until capacity is lost it's too late to do it.
DH and I are in our 60s set up LPAs with each other and both DC as attourneys five years ago when DC were early 20s.
They may never need to use it but it's there if needed.

Any sign of drugs? I know you say Tracey is into fitness and the gym but a family member of mine gave hundreds of pounds to a group of people so desperate for weed they would tell lies eg family emergencies to get the money. They would promise to pay it back but never did.

It’s very worrying for you

Absolutely

I will add, though, I once knew somebody whose cousin willingly allowed Cuckooing to be carried out in her Home.
They would store things there and all of the above occurred (visits late at night, mopeds up and down etc etc) but she done it all for the Money, and it was considerable.
When they find people like that they pay them big bucks (or, Indeed, give them free drugs or pay utilities etc) because its no skin off their noses the amount they must get.
The vulnerable though, its Evil when they use the vulnerable.

She did serve a prison sentence for it when it all blew open.

OP I would do what you are saying and keep a keen eye on Tracey

OP from my personal situation, my mother attracts just these types who aim to rinse her for her money, time, lifts, you name it! When it happens we always go low contact and keep grandchildren away because these kinds of people we do not know, and they suddenly become for her highly or the highest valued ‘member of the clan’. They are con artists out for what they can get. Luckily my father protects her and understands these types need to be told to sling their hook. When you have a pair thinking in unison both worshiping the person, it will be more problematic and I do hope for your sake it’s a case of the candle that burns twice as bring burns half as long