Parents new “friend”

What on earth do their friends say.
i would get someone to infer there is something going on between DF and Tracey to DM.

I knew a similar situation! Neighbour of friend. Except it was a 19 year old man. In the end the man died and this young man married the woman! He lives a life of luxury now and will be inheriting everything (the couple were childfree). Saying they, they seem happy!

I have noticed on here that anyone who has retired is considered to be rich, doddery and sliding swiftly into mental decline.

Reminds me of the Sixth Commandment TV series. I’d be concerned.

Do you have her full name? A google may help get a bit of background knowledge here.

And definitely start going round to your parents more - I suspect the cool reception is intended to try and keep you away. Ask your parents if they have met her dad yet? and why not?

check out where she works, basically legally stalk her for a bit and check out her story.

@ElsieMc received a phone call from the very worried manager of her mum's bank, "rightly or wrongly".
I assume, @ElsieMc, that you feel he was probably breaking client, (your mum), confidentiality?
But his action alerted @ElsieMc as to what was happening.
I know this is going off the point of the thread a little, but this just wouldn't happen nowadays would it?
Gone are the days when your bank manager knew you and you knew her/him.
I haven't even got a bank branch anymore - all the branches of my bank within travelling distance have been closed.

I agree with PPs who have suggested a direct approach. 'Tracy, I'm going to be honest I am concerned about why you are suddenly being so close to my parents, I don't think it's a normal way for people who haven't known each other long to be with one another. I know you won't like this, but I have to put my parents first and I will go to the authorities if anything you do seems to be taking advantage of mum and dad'

There is a risk she will go to your parents with this, but I think there is no good trying to be polite - she needs to know her behaviour is off, even if somehow she doesn't mean any ill.

Do you think one of your parents or their siblings gave her up for adoption and she has just found birth family members by any chance?

Blimey, @VividQuoter, I'm glad you're not my daughter!

This thread!

Is this something that Tracey said to your parents about you OP?

(Hard to follow in a long thread if quoting isn't used.)

Honestly Op-when she asked if she could call them Mum & Dad-why wouldn't they say no?

They do sound easily flattered!

This happened to my mother. A young woman she'd met briefly tagged onto her, always round at the house, all cosy and friendly. Took to call her 'Mum'. When I mentioned my concerns I was accused of jealousy and of being bad-minded. So I dug around. Discovered the woman had form for this and had done quite nicely out of little presents and a couple of decent bequests. I instigated POA, made sure the woman knew. That stopped it.

It does.

It sounds very weird and a bit dodgy to me. She must have an ulterior motive and is trying to prime /groom them . I would keep a very close eye on the situation.

@Dancingqueen18 I agree with you that it is not the same situation, but grooming takes different forms. Grooming is predatory behaviour and this person is building false trust with the op's parents. Like happened with me, I was basically replaced by someone who at the time appeared more supportive and invested than me. You only have to look at the murder of Peter Farquhar in the Sixth Commandment to see how he was groomed when he had a loving family and friends. It is unusual though, that it is a couple, you are correct. She is using superficial charm and attention and the ultimate aim is financial.

Horrible situation, people like this are the scum of the earth. The difference is according to OP this is a very fit healthy couple in their early 60s look like 50s & doing regular runs. You can't really compare the situations as there is no taking advantage of a vulnerable elderly couple circumstance here. The question is why are OPs parents so invested in this woman 🤦‍♀️

@Stmarieforme I've had POA in place since I was in my 50's. This is something only the parents can set up. If they lacked capacity, which they don't then the OP could apply to the court for guardianship.

Living in Nuneaton - clearly a fate worse than death

This happened with people I knew. Turned out the husband was helping the young woman with her onlyfans work. His wife left him and now he lives in Nuneaton.

I their 60s? Being As they could still be working I doubt OP could just get POA!

Nearly happened with my late MIL, but the perpetrator was seen off by family.

I'm 61 and would see through this chancer in an instant. Def need to protect them, tho I can't imagine why they're so easily taken in?

Lots of things spring to mind here OP. First of all, what does your brother think, has he met her?

My instinct tells me that this woman is being distant with you in the hope of stopping you visiting when you know she’ll be there, as you’ll feel uncomfortable in her presence. The same with the flirting with your daughter, ie, make your DD feel uncomfortable, and she won’t go visit while she’s there.

I think in your shoes, rather than calling her out in front of your parents or anything like that, I would be visiting often when you know that she’s there, and in front of your parents, saying things like, oh it’s so nice getting to know you, why don’t you come over to mine one night, we can have a girly night, have a few glasses of wine, etc? She’ll probably make an excuse if things are not as she would have you believe, but if you can put her in the position where she has to turn you down in front of your parents, like, ‘Oh, I’m not much of a drinker’, then you could say, well ‘How about a movie together at the weekend?’ Come up with as many, varied ideas that you can, so that if she turns them all down, it will look like she’s being churlish in front of your parents, and they might start to wonder why she’s turning down the offer of friendship from someone nearer her own age. If that doesn’t work, and you get really worried, would your DD be prepared to make up some excuse to move in with them for a while. If they feel that this woman is filling a gap in their lives, then the chance to have their GD move in, may well see their interest in her fading rapidly.

Another thought would be to ask your DM on the quiet, if she’s your Dad’s love child, or even ask if she thinks he’s having an affair with her, pointing out that while there is a big age difference, it’s not unheard of, and it worries you the way she’s always hanging around him, etc., maybe give your Mum pause to wonder about this, then if she thinks she might be a threat, she could well become unwelcome really quickly.

On the other hand, if your DB feels the same way about her, you could always get him to warn her off, being really nasty and threatening, but obviously not where your parents can see or hear. Then if she were to run to your parents and tell them that he’d threatened her, you could ask when it happened, and say ‘well that’s a lie, as he was with me on that day/time’

Hopefully some ideas there for you to think about.