DS taking ages to fall asleep

Sorry but the "chatting her face off" made me laugh 😂. What time did she stop? I shouldn't laugh really, got a feeling my toddler will be like your DD when he's older😅

Have you tried teaching him to meditate? It's something you could do together to start with, maybe lying alongside him and talking him through it. Have a search online for a guided one suitable for young children that you could do together. Or maybe a calming yoga sequence just before bed?

I agree that he should be settling more quickly and feel he is likely to become agitated himself if he is trying to sleep but not managing to switch off. So many children in school complain about this problem!

DD2 was a bit like this. I'd check your bedtime routine to make sure that it is all wind down with no stimulation - so 6.00 pm quiet play no screens, 6.30 tidy up and then upstairs for bath. 7pm in PJs and in bed - read a story. 7.30 lights out. We left a story CD on for her to listen to. She was happy to just lie there and listen until she dropped off. It was usually Roald Dahl so she could recite the words or sometimes Horrible Histories so I felt it was probably doing her some good even if she wasn't sleeping.

I'd love to have your problem. My 5 year old is currently still chatting her face off in her room, despite having been in bed since 8pm!!

My 5 nearly 6yo can take a while to fall asleep. I don't think it's that unusual. 7:30/8 is his usual bedtime.

I have always taken a long time to fall asleep so I sympathise. I have been trying to reach him how to relax himself.

My ds of a similar age is like this. I just let him read in bed until he falls asleep. If I know he’s tired and I want him asleep quickly then I will lay with him but if he’s clearly bouncy and not ready to sleep then I’ll leave him to it, as it winds me up to be in his room when he won’t sleep.

yes he’ll be tired in the morning but he’ll go to sleep quicker the next night so I think it evens out. He doesn’t go to bed until after 9pm, there is simply no point, he won’t sleep before then.

Ds8 has always been like this. When he was younger he was up and down like a yo-yo but now he simply reads until he falls asleep which tends to be an hour after he goes up no matter what time. Suspect he just needs the time to wind down as he is a very high energy kid anyway.

Is this the norm, on the edges of being the norm or very much not the norm? Completely normal.

I don’t remember laying in bed awake for ages as a kid
1- he's six, you can't remember being six in any detail
2- he's a different person

My 6 year old DS is usually up in bed by 7.30 reading until 8 and then he'll listen to an audiobook for 15 minutes or so. He goes through phases of faffing for hours which also makes me frustrated, as the same as you OP, he is a nightmare if he misses an hour or 2 of sleep (that being said he is usually awake by 6.30-7 regardless of the time he fell asleep)

Always find the audiobook and then switching it to some relaxing music helps, but one week he goes to bed within minutes the next it's 3 hours of 'mummmmmy' before finally sleeping. No advice but I feel your pain

I don't think taking an hour to get to sleep is that long. I always took far longer (still do), and, as a child, remember hearing my parents coming up to bed just after 11pm and I'd been in bed for ages.

It sounds as though your son has enough sleep so why worry.

How do you know he's tossing and turning in bed?
It might take him some time to relax, and since he's not leaving his bedroom I don't think it's an issue really

I'm not going to keep badgering you but this is all your issue.

Humans take varied lengths of time to fall asleep, it varies person to person, season to season and day to day.

The best thing you can give him is a relaxed home - work on your own stress around this and just tell him so long as he's quiet and resting he can read til he's ready. Just explain everyone sleeps differently but that sleep helps you enjoy the next day.

I have to say all these people saying oh it's ok let him be him, I agree to certain extent in that the world we live in revolves around getting up at six and going to bed at ten as an adult. My body clock unfortunately says sleep at 3:til 10 , I would say leave him to it if he's not disturbing anyone but he has to get up when everyone else does just for his own sake the world just works that way

Doing this is really weird given he's not wanting you there and he is fine on his own.

He will feel your stress.

Listen to your husband. Let your child relax and sleep when he's ready.

I feel you OP as I have the exact same thing with my 5 year old. She stays in her room and mostly doesn’t bother us but sometimes she is literally awake for over 2 hours after bedtime. Last night she only slept 9.30-6, which isn’t enough sleep for her. Lo and behold she was grumpy most of the day with a full meltdown just before bedtime. Asleep in about 20 mins tonight!!!

There’s no point getting cross with them though (unless they’re actively trying to stay up eg getting up and wandering or playing with toys or whatever). As long as she’s not bothering me I leave her be. I do suggest listening to calm music rather than an exciting new story and explain the importance of sleep. But it does stress me out when I know she’s still awake so I hear what you’re saying.