To hope I get pregnant even though my partner withdraws?

I am curious if anybody has gotten pregnant from the withdrawal method?

How old are you?! The only people I knew that ever did the withdrawal method were 16 and stupid.

It all sounds a bit nuts tbh.

Op this is googleable. About one in five get pregnant on the withdrawal method, four in five do not.

i will comment though, what an odd way for you both to behave over something so important as bringing a child into this world. Very immature.

Ah my DP wasn’t ready to have a baby and we were using withdrawal and I like you was desperately hoping it failed. This was a very sad lonely place to be suffering the disappointment each month and unable to share it. ❤️I’ve successfully used withdrawal method with 3 men over long term and then successfully fell pregnant quite quickly when actually trying. My best friend fell pregnant the only time her and her DP did it. I suspect that the differential has to do with the men, whether there is pre-cum, their ability to control etc I think you should talk to your DP again about the fertility issues. How important having children is to you etc

If you are ready for babies why not just nip to the register office before autumn, emigrate before Christmas and get on with it.

In my opinion, although I doubt it will be welcomed, if you aren't financially secure/ready to emigrate now, you aren't ready to have a baby. Once a baby arrives it is unlikely you will feel in a position to emigrate but I suspect your DP will.

This is such a terrible idea. Clearly in your head, you basically ate ttc, only you’ll be doing a very half-arsed job of it and therefore, if you get pregnant, it will take some time, and cause a lot of upset for you, and none at all for your partner who doesn’t particularly want a baby (now? At all? I’m on the fence despite what you’ve said!). You’ll have differing reactions and feelings about this whole process and I expect will find the other persons stance upsetting and frustrating. Either ttc properly or don’t, but this is a terrible middle ground.
Also you ought to be taking folic acid really, for at least three months prior to pregnancy.

My husband and I were using the rhythm method and I'm now pregnant

From bitter experience, waiting to TTC is not a good idea if there are any possible infertility issues. I'd have a serious conversation with your partner about it, get on the same page and crack on.

Op I’m the poster whose story you don’t want. Similar history to you, knew ttc could be harder for me. Met and married young ish and had long open chats with dh from my early twenties. We ttc for a while in our mid twenties after some health issues - unsuccessfully tried for 2 years. It was beyond tough. Prelim IVF investigations. As a couple we agreed to take a break - no cycle tracking detailed shared, just back to us, sex when we wanted too, as we wanted too, withdraw and see what happens. Given age, life stages and openness withdrawal initially suited us. 3 years no babies. In the beginning it worked and was lovely to take the pressure off! But over time - DH remained optimistic, my stress levels rose each month as the time went on. The stalemate of open but not trying was harder to navigate than the open conversations about wanting babies and being emotional.disappointed about it. In hindsight we were both tying to hide from potential hurt and it wasn’t helpful.

Did a round of IVF drugs in late twenties, and started the next phase for me of getting pregnant but having losses (from early to mid pregnancy). We started to think about life, without our own kids. Moved countries, jobs, built a life as us. Stayed ttc but trying to let it dictate less of our decisions daily (if that makes any sense).

DC1 was born in my early thirties, DC2 15 months later (a welcome surprise, not TTC), DC3 2.5 years after that (was TTCing for this pregnancy since DC2 was 8 months).

We used the pull out method and didn't get pregnant. (The first one you described)
Granted we only used it for about 8 months before we wanted to have a baby, so it's not all that long though

She might be more sad to be 41 and childless after years of fertility treatment. We can't all have the fairy tale sometimes you have to choose the least bad option.....

You both sort of want a baby but he doesn’t want to actually plan a baby for two more years. That sounds confusing and unreliable and a bit tricky on his part. Why two years ?

You are both already settled….own the house and have savings together and get on wonderfully, but want to wait two years to move and to plan for a baby. Again, why the wait ?

You have concerns that you have enough reason to be facing fertility issues once the two more years of imposed withdrawal contraception is up. He knows there may be fertility issues facing you but weirdly, he sees that as a reason to wait for two years. That doesn’t make sense. You should be concerned about this and know exactly why you have to wait.

You are both from the EU and want to move to another EU country in two years which is relatively simple and not like emigrating to Australia. You have already learned the language. It doesn’t take two years to plan and do the admin to move within the EU. Why not make the move now ?

If, as you say, having a baby makes the move from EU country to another EU country more costly, (does a baby really make that much financial difference if you are already comfortably off ?) why not move now, before the two year wait for the baby?

You have good career enhancement opportunities in the country where he wants to move to in two years. So doesn’t it make sense to move asap, get established in your career and then have the baby asap. Why put that off for two years ?

Everything points to getting on with your life right now, especially if your biological clock is ticking faster. But there is this two year wait problem that he is dictating and which you are only half heartedly going along with because you are already stressed about your fertility chances and can’t bear to use contraception. He must have a really good reason for that two year wait but what is it ? Are you only in your early/mid 20’s …you won’t say and that makes this difficult.

Don’t plan / hope for an accident OP. That’s foolish.
Instead, get to the bottom of his two year wait.

As for your wish for anecdotes, yes, trust me, it definitely happens, especially somehow when you don’t want it to.

Oh my god the people clutching their Pearl necklaces “but you’re not married how can you both be committed together and have a baby”!! This isn’t the 1950’s, you don’t need to be married to be committed and some people just don’t believe in it anymore! And that’s ok! 🙄

OP, you sound very immature.

If you do have endometriosis/infertility, you are very unlikely to become pregnant using this method. If you become pregnant, you are unlikely to have the problem in the first place.

Only move to this country if you’d be happy living there as a single mother. Once your child is resident there, you won't be able to leave with the child without his permission.

It's unlikely that you will have the social insurance contributions to access support. Will you be able to fully support yourself there?

Wow how on earth is that rape ?

Lots of judgement on here. OP I understand where you are coming from. I have 3 kids now. Number 3 was a "we aren't planning but if it happens that's great!" situation as I also didn't want contraception (and it was OUR choice) but he was pulling out. I fell pg within 3 months. She's 2 soon!! Absolutely no regrets. That said I think we knew it was probably likely. My 2 DC were conceived within the same timescale from deciding to ttc, so we may be lucky with fertility. Did have a MC in-between though.

So I guess short answer is - it could well happen, but you know that, purely because there's no contraception!

Btw we had a registry office wedding when I was very very pg with dc1 with 4 guests. We also don't like weddings!! Best decision ever. Had a lovely mini break after. Job done. Been together over 20 years for anyone that feels the need to say something...

I got pregnant twice using the withdraw method.

After having two children we used the withdrawal method for 26 years. I've still got two children!

Sorry but if you got pregnant 3 times from such a tiny (almost negligible) bit of sperm then your husband is bloody terrible at pulling out 😂

@321user123 Do you realise the average woman takes at least 8 years to be diagnosed?Many go 15 years before having a diagnosis. Also, endo can be painless or asymptomatic

What on earth does that have to do with OP though? From all of her (presume her by the information given) information there is nothing to suggest endo. You could use the ‘asymptomatic’ for any woman saying she should try at 20yo as she doesn’t know if she has asymptomatic endo or not, which isn’t really how it should work🥴. The only aspect OP mentions is that some people in the extended family suffered infertility and endo, however seemingly not immediate family and indeed not her mum who feel pregnant first time each time on trying and her grandmothers on both sides obviously had kids so, it seems a bit of a long bow and probably a bit of a ‘thought I’d throw it to DH as a fact as men know nothing to try and convince him as a reason for something I want’ as opposed to any valid medical concern at this point., or likely at all.

If 100% don’t want kids we are told that the withdrawal method is unreliable. That means it is possible to get pregnant that way.

The withdrawal method is likely to get you pregnant. There is 'ejaculate' as part of the process prior to 'full' ejaculation. That's why so many womeen in religions that forbid contraception still end up with hoards of kids

Fully agree with this. Im probably around OPs age, struggled to get pregnant (actively trying) and had no identifiable fertility issues at all in me or my family. It was a crushing process and the only real support you’ll have is each other. You and your partner need to be either fully in it together or not - otherwise it’s going to crush you and your relationship monthly.

Obviously if you have a quick “happy accident” then that point won’t be an issue.. but there will be so many other issues around his commitment, the move, the stress of pregnancy, etc…

To answer your question - I didn’t get pregnant from withdrawal. But first time ttc, both times. Sorry.

Ngl this all sounds quite immature and naive about the realities of TTC. So you want a baby but not the pressure of actual TTC with tracking etc.. and he wants a baby but not for two years.. so your solution is to do this halfway house that technically shouldn’t result in pregnancy (or at least will lower your chances) but you’re hoping still might?

What if you don’t get pregnant (entirely possible) - aren’t you going to think you wasted a full two years when you could’ve been trying properly? If you really thought your fertility was as bad as you claim, I don’t believe for a second that you’d want to take that risk. I suspect you’re on the fence because even though your relatives have struggled, your mum got pregnant pretty instantly, so you know that’s a possibility too.

You should get testing to see how both of your fertility stands, and then take it from there. I think you need to also remember that even with perfectly good fertility results, it can still take many months to get pregnant without assistance. Faffing around with withdrawal method just sounds like a waste of time. I’d either commit to actually trying (which you should both fully accept may or may not work) or just don’t.