To hope I get pregnant even though my partner withdraws?

I've conceived five times (and three of those times were first month trying)! Fair enough, we are both older now, although I'm not yet menopausal.

For us, pull-out worked perfectly well between pregnancies (when it wouldnt have been a disaster to fall pregnant) which is why we carried on with it after our family was complete. But there are factors (which I listed previously) which mean the chance of pregnancy is different for different couples.

I know it's not technically rape, I wasn't one of the posters that said it was. Morally and ethically it's still despicable behaviour.

And yes some posters do seem to think it's hilarious or that men just need a "push" into fatherhood, so just get him drunk! Yes someone admitted to doing that and seemed pretty proud of themselves. I mean WTAF. Imagine if the roles were reversed and a woman was unsure if she wanted children but the man does so he should just get her pregnant anyway and she's bound to come round. I don't think we'd be worrying too much about the technical definition of the words we'd call him.

@TooTiredOfThisShit

But maybe you just can't conceive? It doesn't mean the method is working!

I've done a lot of research into this. Some men produce a significant number in their pre-cum, whereas for other men it's negligible.

Of course the biggest chance of pregnancy when using pull-out, is not pulling out in time.

The other big chance of pregnancy is having sex twice without the man urinating (and "clearing the pipes"!) in between.

FWIW we've been using pull-out carefully for 8 years, with no pregnancy, but we're both mid forties now.

@Blondeshavemorefun Has been around for years so if you're insinuating she's a troll then your barking up the wrong tree.

Cool bro.

If he wanted a baby with OP, he would be TTC.

When he showing her who he is, the OP is refusing to believe him. This won't end well.

Yep.

I think the OP is failing to take this onboard and if a 'surprise' pregnancy does happen, she's expecting him to be pleased about it.

Nah…he just wants to go bareback, nothing to do with wanting children.

worded poorly on my part. I was trying to imply she thinks she’ll struggle to conceive from the posts she made.

I agree with this poster this is how it is for me.

I probably shouldn't say this as I don't want to encourage people to use the withdrawal method. However, the withdrawal method was a very effective form of contraception for us!
We used it for about 15 years and never got pregnant in that time. The only two times I got pregnant were when we were actively trying to conceive.
I think my husband is very skilled at pulling out in time!

His words and his actions don't align. If he isn't using contraception and is having sex then it seems like he does want to have children, but perhaps wants to have that get-out-of-jail-free-card if it all goes wrong "Well, why should I have to give up going to the pub/seeing my friends/working long hours/going away with the lads/playing football all weekend/going to the gym 6 nights a week...? I said I didn't want to have a baby, this is all on you, why do I have to change?"

Odd posts from me ? Was just a curious question 😂

I've been on mn for about 18yrs

But yes

Op doesn't seem to be coming back

If still reading - you say you have money. So go private and see if you actually have any issues about conceiving. Nothing to do with your aunt cousins etx

@emocourt my understanding of sexual consent is not in the least bit blurred.

While my first comment was said tongue in cheek, I'll accept your argument as valid if you can point me to a single reported case where a jury has convicted a woman of sexual assault on a complaint by her husband or partner in circumstances where he had ejaculated in her during consensual sex, after she had told him she wanted to conceive, and knowing that, and sort of being okay with it if she did conceive, he then engaged in unprotected sex with her (repeatedly).

I'm also not sure there is such a thing as reverse stealthing (ie a woman getting a man to ejaculate in her without his consent) to be honest, which is what I think is the basis of your outrage.

How many eye rolling threads are there on here about men moaning they were tricked into conceiving babies.

Men should take responsibility. If you don't want a kid, wear a condom. And be honest with your wife / partner.

The urge to be a mother doesn't override his consent, and the fact that you not only think it does but find the idea hilarious is abhorrent.

I am the LAST person to say this sort of thing but can you imagine the response if a man said this about a woman?

🙄

WTAF.

Some very odd posts indeed from this poster.

Back on the thread, it looks like the op has stropped and left.

Wherever he wants it to go. Many men love it.

Thank you @BigPussyEnergy

I can't a quote a quote on the app

I def don't have a fetish

It was just an observation. If the man doesn't ejaculate inside the woman - where does it go

I don't get your reply ?

If the post was “get her drunk and pull off the condom when she’s not looking” that ok with you? Rape no. But it’s not even the same planet as ok.

It’s contemptible because the OP and her partner have apparently agreed to have unprotected sex, but that he will withdraw before ,ejaculating. Not to using condoms. It’s a monumentally stupid ‘compromise’, obviously, but that is what they have agreed. The suggestions that the OP ‘get on top and stay there’, thereby rendering her partner unable to withdraw before he ejaculates, violates their agreement. He is having entirely unprotected sex he didn’t consent, to by means of physical coercion.

If you’re a man who can’t grasp this, then I’d suggest your thinking around consent is depressingly blurry.

I don’t disagree that this couple should be using barrier methods. I think they should be using two or three methods of contraception until they grow up enough to stop treating something as important as creating another human being who deserves to have been planned and wanted by both parents, as a matter of Vatican roulette and ‘whoopsies’ (I quote).

I think your mental health will suffer during those 2 years that you are hoping for the method to fail... You either try or don't. Why don't you try to conceive now if it is so important to you? I think it will be much better for you to understand what kind of child you will have, and what kind of support you will need before you make that big move. Emigrating with a toddler / baby doesn't add so much to the costs.

I don’t think he has the same urges as you to have a child, if he did he would not be pulling out and you’d both be trying for a baby not just one half of the couple

Fertility treatment or a 'whoops' aren't your only options though, those are the two extremes of a very wide spectrum of TTC journeys.

I have PCOS and endometrial hyperplasia as a result, that has resulted in 15 early miscarriages in 10 years. We started trying for a baby when I was 21, my beautiful son was born when I was 30.

I (obviously) completely understand the drive and desire to have a child, and how it can become all consuming when you're trying and it's not happening.

What irks me as a sufferer of infertility for a number of years about your post is this:

1. You do not have a diagnosis for endo, you just 'assume' you have it because it's in your family and you had a dodgy biosy result one time. If you do have endo and you think it's going to hurt your chances of conceiving, you'd be doing everything in your power NOW to get a diagnosis officially so that when you TTC, you've got immediate support rather than having to wait 2 years for diagnosis.
2. You havent even STARTED TTC yet and you've already decided you're going to have a hard time based on nothing but your family history. AND YET you're still not pursuing diagnosis for yourself or investigations of any kind. Madness.
3. Your partner has TOLD YOU he is not ready for a child yet, and instead of waiting 2 years (which is nothing in TTC world) you've come up with this mad 'compromise'. WTF. That's not a 'healthy' relationship. You're now both just wishing for different things to happen in an unspoken way, there's nothing healthy or communicative about that at all.

I think you're using your family history of infertility as a way to strong arm your partner into taking a risk he's not ready for. You have no evidence at all that you're infertile in anyway, so you're lying to him to get him to take risks while he's thinking you're going to struggle to get pregnant anyway, so his understanding of the risks he's taking is based on falsehoods.

You are not infertile, you are not going through a TTC/ infertility journey of any kind, You're taking the absolute piss out of a man who has been incredibly straight with you on his wishes.

Just wait until you're both ready. If you can't wait 2 years to start trying you're absolutely not ready for the absolute head fuck of early pregnancy etc, it will destroy you.