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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be angry at DH over DS 8 on water slide?

135 replies

Fleetwoodmax · 24/07/2024 18:07

On holiday with DH and DS 8. I had to come back from pool early as had to have a chat with someone re a job interview. DH supervising DS at pool on small water slide and water play area. They come home saying they had a brilliant time but DS hurt his head. Why? I asked. “Well, when I was coming out of the waterslide backwards, I fell and hit my head of bottom of pool” ( not deep! And a shortish slide) At this I was horrified. A) why was he going down a water slide on his back headfirst… ? Totally not allowed. Apparently I’m ‘boring’ for suggesting he should only go feet first and DH deserves a medal for all the supervision he’s done. FYI I am significantly bigger breadwinner and job interview important. AIBU?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 24/07/2024 18:45

YANBU, child could sustain
a broken neck

SleepingStandingUp · 24/07/2024 18:45

Fleetwoodmax · 24/07/2024 18:20

I mentioned it because my husband got annoyed that I left my son with him to take the call..

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So DH is loving off your decent career and is so resentful you expected him to do some childcare, he neglected your son and allowed him to get hurt?

Or, Dad is more lax, thought it would be a laugh, lesson learnt.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:44

saoirse31 · 24/07/2024 18:26

Are there 8 year olds who dont go down slides head first on occasion? Think you're overreacting tbh.

@saoirse31

Not into a very shallow pool if a parent is watching them & that parent has half a brain cell!

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:42

Wolfpa · 24/07/2024 18:25

@KatiesMumWoof OP didn’t have to explain why she wasn’t there. Saying it like she has is implying that the interview wouldn’t be important to someone who isn’t the main earner.

@Wolfpa

No she wasn't! But actually it is.

shes the main earner, the NEED her income, to keep a roof over their heads!!

StopInhalingRevels · 24/07/2024 18:41

nameynamenamenamename · 24/07/2024 18:17

I’m going to go against the flow and say I think your DH was being a complete and utter arse.

However that’s because I have a close friend who is paraplegic due to a water park accident, where he “hit his head” in a similar accident, but in hitting his head he also broke his neck.

This.

It's only ok because he "got away with it'. The outcome here could have been drastically and life changingly different.

AFmammaG · 24/07/2024 18:40

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:25

@AFmammaG

FGS she was explaining why she had to go do the call, that's all.

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Doesn't matter if she's taking a call or taking a shit

This 👆 the fact she earns more is irrelevant to the context of the AIBU.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:39

TwattyMcFuckFace · 24/07/2024 18:25

Some people only get to go down the correct way once and some people only get to go on airplane, or down a motorway once 🤷‍♀️

A life wrapped in cotton wool is no life at all.

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@TwattyMcFuckFace

you are living up to your user name on this thread.

yes, accidents happen, but this wasn't an accident, it was a very shallow pool, it was a dangerous thing to do. Full stop. Might as well let him jump off the roof

crumblingschools · 24/07/2024 18:38

@ChubSeedsYorkie because dad of the year moaned about being left in charge of his 8yo and OP was explaining why

Original poster
Fleetwoodmax · 24/07/2024 18:38

So why I mentioned my breadwinner is because it was important I take teh call. We couldn’t survive on my DH salary. It’s low because he has the flexibility to do childcare whilst I work he does pick up and drop off at school/sports clubs etc. He threw this back in my face that I shouldn’t have taken the call. My issue is he clearly thought it was okay for my DS to take a huge risk and I’m boring for not thinking it’s okay!!! And yes I did choose him to be the father but we didn’t discuss water slide etiquette for 8yo at conception!!?!

OP posts:
angryoldwoman · 24/07/2024 18:37

What a fool you dh sounds.

ChubSeedsYorkie · 24/07/2024 18:36

“FYI I am significantly bigger breadwinner”

how is this relevant? 😂

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:36

Bobbotgegrinch · 24/07/2024 18:23

Eh, sometimes kids get hurt.

And going down a waterslide backwards is something everyone has to do at least once. It's a right of passage.

@Bobbotgegrinch sure, of course, but not exiting in a pool that's very shallow.

AGoingConcern · 24/07/2024 18:36

I'd probably have to see the water slide and pool to judge how unhappy I'd be with the decision. Sometimes 8 year olds are going to do things that aren't super safe and sometimes bumped heads happen, but there are levels of risk.

I'm unclear how the discussion played out, but my comment to my DC in the moment would likely have been "Ouch! I'm glad it's only a little bump." Any other conversation would happen between my DH and me in private.

Tandora · 24/07/2024 18:34

Anewuser · 24/07/2024 18:13

Well you chose him to be a father. You made the decision he is responsible enough to leave your child with him while you went off for your important meeting.

Surely, you understand about risk assessments?

OMG!!!!!! Why is everything a woman’s fault?!

QueenCamilla · 24/07/2024 18:34

@Schoolhols
It's also majority the dad's who fuck off whilst their (ex) wife is left caring for their disabled child.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:33

Fleetwoodmax · 24/07/2024 18:20

I mentioned it because my husband got annoyed that I left my son with him to take the call..

Show quote history

@Fleetwoodmax

Does he also 'get annoyed' at your monthly salary going into the bank??

what an utter arse, is he often like this??

Is he not an equal parent? (I mean clearly he's NOT, but in his eyes, is he not DS's Dad??

PeloMom · 24/07/2024 18:31

Schoolhols · 24/07/2024 18:10

In my experience that’s what dads do. Have fun with the kids whilst mum worries about the risk.

That doesn’t make it ok. It’s like ‘boys will be boys’ instead of accepting it’s not ok

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:29

OhshutupRoger · 24/07/2024 18:18

Unclench and let them have fun. You were prioritising work over spending time with your family so maybe you have some guilt there?

@OhshutupRoger

yes how dreadful of her to spend some time doing something that keeps a roof over her families head.

if it had been a bloke you'd all be telling him how fucking fantastic he is & yet she couldn't even be trusted to mind their kid safely for half an hour.

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 24/07/2024 18:28

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:25

@AFmammaG

FGS she was explaining why she had to go do the call, that's all.

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No she didn’t to mention that she earns ‘significantly more’.

She could have just said ‘it was an important interview.

I am the main earner in this house. I think adding that it’s important because she earns ‘significantly more’ is odd.

soupfiend · 24/07/2024 18:27

Wolfpa · 24/07/2024 18:25

@KatiesMumWoof OP didn’t have to explain why she wasn’t there. Saying it like she has is implying that the interview wouldn’t be important to someone who isn’t the main earner.

No, she is saying it to explain that no call = no job and that would seriously affect the family because she is the breadwinner

So call needed to be taken, thats all

CelesteCunningham · 24/07/2024 18:27

I wouldn't be happy with my kids doing it because of the risk to the neck, but at the same time I wouldn't be going mad at DH I'd just ask him to stop it in future

As someone else said, it's often the dads taking the risks and the mums being cautious (certainly that way in my house!) and I think both sides are important for them learning risk assessment.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 24/07/2024 18:27

No parent has to explain why they decided to leave a bit of parenting to the child's other parent.

Doesn't matter if she's taking a call or taking a shit.

Bobbotgegrinch · 24/07/2024 18:26

BellesAndGraces · 24/07/2024 18:23

Some people of course only get to do it the once.

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Yep, such is life (and death)

It's a series of judgement calls. Sometimes you make the wrong one, very occasionally it goes horribly wrong, most of the time it doesn't.

saoirse31 · 24/07/2024 18:26

Are there 8 year olds who dont go down slides head first on occasion? Think you're overreacting tbh.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 18:25

AFmammaG · 24/07/2024 18:17

FYI I am significantly bigger breadwinner and job interview important
So glad you clarified this, obviously in that case YANBU
Lets hope you also reminded your DH of that fact when you were criticising his parenting.

@AFmammaG

FGS she was explaining why she had to go do the call, that's all.

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