Do I have a right to be annoyed?

Squabbling over your dead dad's money...while he's still alive.

my sister is actually financially more comfortable than us

Yes people who have no children generally are.

She might argue that your choice to have children mean that you and your children are going to ultimately benefit at her expense.

My dad gave all his money to a Dogs' Home (not Battersea) and left his house to a neighbour who looked after him.

I would quite like not to be in the financial crisis I'm in now, but what he did with his money/property was entirely up to him.

I guess it has bothered me because my sister is actually financially more comfortable than us. My disabled son will need life long support which is me and dh and eventually my twin boys. It feels mean that she's trying to change dad's mind to better her position at the expense of my children.

Most people who don’t have dc are better off because dc are expensive. Do you think your disabled son should receive more inheritance than your other dc? DH is the only one of his siblings with dc, it would never cross my mind that our dc would get some inheritance.

And if people are castigating Anne for being "grabby" then so is Sue in arguing for her DC to have the same inheritance as from their grandmother.

agree.

I think 50/50 to children is fairest. The grandchildren already have got a decent sum from the grandmother.

I don’t understand the Mumsnet obsession with children inheriting equally especially in situations like this where one child is providing a lot of care for the widowed parent and the other lives at a distance and rarely visits.

I think the Dad should spend it ALL now as he sees fit, spoiling them if he wants, but not leaving anything for them to fight over.

It should always be left directly to the children in my opinion. Unless each child has exactly the same number of children of similar ages and no plans to have anymore, one family is always going to get more than another.

However, with the twins obvious greed and entitlement to their grandfathers money, I'd be tempted to leave their share to the cars home.

We were in a similar position. FIL went 50/50 in the end. Meant siblings aren’t as close as they were, now.

So @Anewuser am I reading you correctly - you don't think it was fair that your FiL divided his estate equally between his children? And now your DH is distanced from his siblings? Is that correct?

It felt like he was being rewarded because his family was receiving 5/7 of this amount. She had also made some mention of my brother needing the money more than I do - he didn't, he is no worse off than I am, but in any case, you never know what is going to happen to people in the future.

However, when my parents died, they had left their estate divided equally between my brother and me. It comforted me at the end - their will was their last message to us and it showed that they loved us equally.

Totally understand this, @kittylion2 Money & wills can feel like a sign of family regard.

And if people are castigating Anne for being "grabby" then so is Sue in arguing for her DC to have the same inheritance as from their grandmother.

Dad can do what he wants with his money. His kids sound awful. You're allowed to feel annoyed about how it's distributed as it's nothing more than an emotion, but the minute you verbalise it or act on it, you're an arsehole in my honest opinion.

You’re Sue right?

We were in a similar position. FIL went 50/50 in the end. Meant siblings aren’t as close as they were, now.

Nothing you can do, let dad make his own choice.

Hope when your sister passes she leaves her inheritance to your children, if she has no children of her own.

Imagine if your sibling was one of the Radfords with 22 or whatever children! 50/50 to the children is the only fair way.

Wills being out the worst in people. Most of the detail, such as who lives where and how often they visit and phone, is irrelevant.

I have 2 kids and it's 50/50 between them. One may have 10 kids, the other none but it's still 50/50 from me.

Yes. His money, his decision, however much individuals involved might disagree.

Disagree. It is neither Anne nor Sues money to give away it is that of their Father and he can allocate it as he wishes.

Agree with PP that it is incredibly crass to be squabbling over money and the poor man isn't even dead yet!

Anne sounds like a grasping, greedy, selfish cow tbh.

Complete agreement here. It's also how inheritance law works where I'm based (non-UK.)

The twins' mum needs to ahead a word with herself, putting emotional pressure on Dad. The childless sister is right, but should keep quiet.

Dad should leave it all to the donkey sanctuary

I agree with those saying the split should be 50/50 to the sisters and anything to the grandkids come out of Sue’s share. Otherwise Sue could have continued having children and Anne’s inheritance would drop by £20k each time. What happens if the grandkids start having their own children, would Anne’s share be cut again?

Everything should be split 50/50 between Sue and Anne and the twins are cheeky bastards.

As someone who has inherited and hopefully will leave some inheritance (care fees permitting) I think it should be shared equally between the children, and the children should sort out their own children. My mother did talk about leaving some to the grandchildren, I made no comment and said it was up to them, my brother had 5 children to my 2. I felt that in some way my family was being disadvantaged because of my - and my brother's choices. He chose to have 5 children, I chose to have 2 because money was tighter for us. It felt like he was being rewarded because his family was receiving 5/7 of this amount. She had also made some mention of my brother needing the money more than I do - he didn't, he is no worse off than I am, but in any case, you never know what is going to happen to people in the future.

However, when my parents died, they had left their estate divided equally between my brother and me. It comforted me at the end - their will was their last message to us and it showed that they loved us equally.

There was no way I would ever have commented on this in their lifetime, how crass would that have been, but it confirmed what I thought about wills and a year later when I made my will, I did the same.