Do I have a right to be annoyed?

Well I presume Anne doesn’t have a husband to fund her like you do. A bit more difficult for her to give up work …

Look, you need to understand that siblings make different choices about their lives. And that most parents accept this and don’t treat them differently because of this.

Maybe your father understands this and wants to divide his estate equally between his two daughters.

You really resent and dislike your sister, don’t you @somewhatmiffed ?

Your DC spent their inheritance on designer hoodies and gap years, yet you call your sister mean.

It's not weighted towards Sue, she gets exactly the same as Anne.
What she chooses to spend on her children's education, cars, deposits, etc, are her own business and irrelevant.

As I'm typing this op has updated to say her children are in their 30s...
Guess the days of op having to spring for new trainers are well and truly over?

They ARE getting equal amounts.

But if they DO get money from dad, it should be in equal amounts, not weighted toward Sue just because she chose to bear children.

It's the responsibility of Sue and her husband to assist the children they chose to produce
Sure it is.
By the same token, it's Anne's responsibility to secure her old age herself, and not rely on a bequest from her Dad to do so.

Sounds good. I would be disappointed at having such a grabby family.
Designer hoodies? Speechless.

Many parents help toward house deposits, too.

Anne has to support a household and secure her own old age on one income. Her needs should take priority over her nieces' and nephews, where her dad's bequests are concerned. It's the responsibility of Sue and her husband to assist the children they chose to produce.

Not necessarily . The kids could use it towards a house deposit.
Would you immediately cease all financial assistance for your children if they inherited a bit of money from the grandparents?
Assuming they're even still children by the time anyone actually inherits, of course. Nobody's dead yet.

Sue is assuming that Anne has spoken to their dad. It's just as possible that either he read something about a similar arrangement and hurt feelings and is the one who brought it up.

I also think Sue comes across as manipulative. "oh the children will be upset".
I would hope that the grandchildren would be upset - by the death of their grandad rather than the money.

I also object to:
Also to mention Anne lives other side of country and visits 3 times a year. (Although does ring weekly) Sue cares for her dad - shopping/paying bills etc. visits a couple times a week, grandchildren probably see him around once a month.

I live the other side of the country to my parents. You know what, I'd love to live closer, but it hasn't worked out that way with jobs. She visits three times a year and rings weekly. What do you expect from the other end of the country?
But these devoted grandchildren who expect an inheritance and live locally only see him once a month.

If Sue's dc are going to be disappointed, then why doesn't she ask if £60k can be taken out of her inheritance for her dc?
After all, she was only bothered that they'd be disappointed, and if you think about it, she'll only be giving them £30k out of her money, because if it was going straight from the will then Anne would be giving £30k out of hers too, and she obviously thinks that's fair.

Except that theoretically the grandchildren's portion relieves Sue and her husband of some very large expenses that they might otherwise help the kids with, such as cars, uni, gap year, whatever. So in effect it is financially advantaging Sue and her husband to the detriment of Anne.

Unless they are fully launched adults, the children are not "separate." The bottom line is that one household/family is getting far more than the other.

Absolutely.

My sibling has more kids than me. Our parents have lovely relationships with all of them. I would never consider them being left something in their will as my sibling ‘getting more’. (And FWIW they are CONSIDERABLY better off than I am).

You’d have to be awfully meanspirited to consider a bequest from a much loved grandparent to a grandchild as ‘doing you out of inheritance’. It’s horrid and only outgrossed by the ‘aggrieved’ adult child actually raising it with the Dad.

Anne is disgusting.

How do you know it won't get eaten up by care fees? Inheritance isn't real money until the person passes. It's just grabby and weird. I'd keep my will private. It's like wishing someone dead. Really distasteful. You are not owed anything. None of you.

No, of course it's not fair. There are four individual people here, the grandchildren's portion is completely separate to the portion to be shared between Sue and Anne.

That means Sue gets less than Anne. That’s not fair.

Anne's not getting screwed in the wills. Grandchildren are new people born into the family in their own right. The grandparents have more close relatives to love, so leave money to more people, yes reducing the amount to the people on the list but it's not screwing her over any more than a third sibling would have done.

Yes, this!

We don't know (and I'd bet Sue doesn't either) the sacrifices Anne has made. Facing the world single, and with no children, is NOT easy. It can be painful & lonely.

She may have moved away from her parents for her job - no husband to lean on for income. It's very different when it's just you. She may need to work longer hours - one income, and it's not that much cheaper to live as a singleton.

Sue needs to have a bit of compassion and stop being so self-centred.

If I were Anne and got screwed in both my mother and father's will, simply because I chose not to produce offspring, I'd leave it to the cat home first.

If my sister championed me and suggested the 50/50 split would be more fair, I would probably be inclined to leave my estate to the nieces and nephews. But if I were treated like a second-class citizen to her and her family, never.

But your dad leaving money to grandchildren, THEN splitting what is left among you and your sister, effectively does benefit you far more, because then you and your husband are relieved of a certain amount of responsibility to help your kids with things like cars, houses, uni, etc., as most parents do.

So it is unbalanced and unfair. It's not Anne's fault that Sue decided to have three kids, with all of the financial trade-offs that entails. She shouldn't lose out because she made different lifestyle choices.

I am so so sorry that this happened to you.
Just know that you did your very best for your grandparents and their love and your relationship is worth more than any money.
Nowhere near as bad as you case but I feel similar. My extended family persuaded my beloved gran who I helped care for with my mum to cut me out too 'cos it's not fair'. They are now spending her money like water on holidays etc while my mum and I are still battered by what we had to go through. But I wouldn't swap places - my relationship with my gran was probably one of the most meaningful I will ever have.