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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

523 replies

Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 14:55

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

OP posts:
YankSplaining · 24/07/2024 15:24

Laiste · 24/07/2024 15:18

I'm really amazed how many women seemingly can't imaging why some women have heavier periods/different period related issues to themselves ...

It's the same as any other bodily function thing. We're all different and our experiences will differ.

I think maybe it’s because the accepted wisdom used to be that women couldn’t do a lot of physical activities on their periods - which wasn’t necessarily true. Then people over-corrected with, “Of course women can do those things on their periods! No reason why they can’t!” And now people believe that instead and don’t acknowledge that it varies from woman to woman.

Confusednewmum1 · 24/07/2024 15:23

So glad you posted this!! I said the same to my 5 year old girl and my husband was horrified!

HotCrossBunplease · 24/07/2024 15:23

Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 15:15

Why is it so odd? I didn’t say that every woman / girl cannot swim on their period. I literally gave him the reason why I couldn’t swim today. It wasn’t a massive deal (or I didn’t think so when we spoke)

im not a hairy handed troll btw. Been here for about 9 years. (Penis beaker, cancel the cheque etc etc)

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Yes but unless you explained to him that this was an issue that doesn’t affect all women he is bound to think that period always = can’t swim.

wellington77 · 24/07/2024 15:23

Your mother In law needs to realise it’s not the 1950’s anymore.

AquaFurball · 24/07/2024 15:22

usernamerequiredplease · 24/07/2024 15:05

You just didn't need to tell an 8 year old about it

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She said period, she didn't swear at him.

Alifemoreordinary123 · 24/07/2024 15:22

You did nothing wrong. My 4 year old knows I bleed ‘from my bottom’, what a tampon is and probably the word period. Is it all a bit icky, well yes - no one loves bleeding. But is it absolutely essential to mainstream stuff that happens to 50% of population? Also absolutely yes. I hate the taboo and shame piled on and we perpetuate it by not talking about it and using proper words.

Conniebygaslight · 24/07/2024 15:22

Silly woman. Does she also think pregnant women should stay in?!

YankSplaining · 24/07/2024 15:20

usernamerequiredplease · 24/07/2024 15:03

Not something I would tell my child. He has years to learn all that. I would have said I wasn't well enough to go but will be fine by the weekend.

My kids have known about periods since they were probably around three. Had to use the bathroom, didn’t want to leave them unsupervised, kids were curious why I had to get a tampon out of the cupboard and what it was for.

Mine are girls, but I can’t imagine the same situation wouldn’t have happened if they were boys.

K37529 · 24/07/2024 15:19

Redshoeblueshoe · 24/07/2024 15:00

I've voted YABU - of course you can go swimming.

How? Genuinely curious as I’ve never gone swimming on my period, it would leak and stain my swimsuit. I can’t wear tampons if that’s what you mean

Itsmychristmasdress · 24/07/2024 15:18

Why do some people insist on knowing our bodies better than we do?
My periods are very heavy, yes even with a tampon. I can't swim when on my period not everyone can.

Laiste · 24/07/2024 15:18

I'm really amazed how many women seemingly can't imaging why some women have heavier periods/different period related issues to themselves ...

It's the same as any other bodily function thing. We're all different and our experiences will differ.

UpsyDaisysarmpit · 24/07/2024 15:17

So many people out there accusing the OP of misleading her son by overgeneralising (saying she can't go because she's on her period) but then people doing the exact same by saying "Of course you can swim on your period!"
No, not all of us can! And that's fine too. And since OP can't, it's the only thing relevant when explaining to her son.

Original poster
Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 15:17

TheRakesTale · 24/07/2024 15:14

Why can't you go swimming while you have your period?

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for a few reasons:

I bleed too much. It’s like the fucking red wedding (already had to change the bedding as I leaked through despite wearing period pants and doubling up on towels)

I have dreadful cramps and I’m likely to have a migraine at some point today (happens every month)

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 24/07/2024 15:17

Laiste · 24/07/2024 15:00

My periods certainly mean i can't swim! The first 2 days is a blood bath. I'm sure no one wants to have me in the pool leaking blood all over the place .... Hmm

Exactly the same here. I never felt comfortable swimming when I was on my period anyway though

Tdcp · 24/07/2024 15:16

Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 15:12

Not everyone can use a tampon or mooncup: and honestly, I wasn’t using it as a “teaching” moment. It was just a quick answer to why I wasn’t taking him swimming.

DS doesn’t seem to be grossed out in the slightest or even remotely bothered one way or another by periods

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I can't swim on my periods either OP and no I don't think you were wrong for informing your 8 year old about it either. I think it's a great teaching moment and if boys are bought up being informed about things such as periods, it will make them much better men to their wives / sisters / friends

LBFseBrom · 24/07/2024 15:16

Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 15:07

Why not? It’s the reason why. It’s not (or shouldn’t be) a secret. Most adult females of childbearing age menstruate. It shouldn’t be taboo

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I agree. A period is a normal bodily function and nothing about which to be boy. This is 2024, not the 1950s.

TheRakesTale · 24/07/2024 15:16

Sorry folks, i had not twft when I asked my question!

Laiste · 24/07/2024 15:16

This reply has been deleted

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Which can be easily rectified if it becomes a burning issue for him or if he even thinks of it at all by saying ''but some women can, just not me''.

CleftChin · 24/07/2024 15:15

Why can't you go swimming while you have your period?

Because I can bleed through a heavy absorbency incontinence pad in a couple of hours - mooncups and tampons don't stand a chance.

YankSplaining · 24/07/2024 15:15

Laiste · 24/07/2024 15:00

My periods certainly mean i can't swim! The first 2 days is a blood bath. I'm sure no one wants to have me in the pool leaking blood all over the place .... Hmm

The first day and a half of my period, I’m going through super-absorbency tampons at the rate of one every three hours. Don’t want to tempt fate and add a pool to that situation.

Original poster
Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why is it so odd? I didn’t say that every woman / girl cannot swim on their period. I literally gave him the reason why I couldn’t swim today. It wasn’t a massive deal (or I didn’t think so when we spoke)

im not a hairy handed troll btw. Been here for about 9 years. (Penis beaker, cancel the cheque etc etc)

OP posts:
FluentRubyDog · 24/07/2024 15:15

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2024 15:13

So try period swimwear?

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Try being able to understand not everyone is the same?

TheRakesTale · 24/07/2024 15:14

Bouliegirl · 24/07/2024 14:55

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

Why can't you go swimming while you have your period?

Screamingabdabz · 24/07/2024 15:14

Goslingsforlife · 24/07/2024 15:12

yabu, of course you still can go swimming... so many options to use when you are on.

People have already pointed out that some women can’t. I can’t. It would be like a Jaws movie.

And yes, even. with. a. tampon. 🙄

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2024 15:13

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 24/07/2024 15:08

Not everyone can use tampons or cups, I can't, since giving birth. I told my son this because it was true for me, and he felt better knowing I wasn't just fobbing him off.

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So try period swimwear?