Life insurance/death benefits

Now that my dc are older teens this is exactly what I’ve done. We have enough life insurance that the last part of the mortgage would be paid, and he’d get my pension but the death in service benefit would go to my very-almost adult children. He wouldn’t need it. I’d be happy for him to do the same but he doesn’t have the same benefits.

ISeriouslyDoubtIt I'm sorry for your and your DC loss and I'm glad you had financial security.

He's being very unreasonable.
When my late husband and I had children, we made sure, through death in service, life insurance, pensions etc that if one of us died the other one would have enough income to be able to live mortgage-free and not to have to work at all until the youngest was 18 years old.
Our view was that if children had to go through that kind of bereavement their remaining parent should be around for them as much as possible and shouldn't need to be worried about living costs, juggling work as a single parent with small children etc.
Like most people we never thought it would happen, but sadly it did. My husband died leaving me a widow with 2 children under 5, who are now adults. I've always been so relieved that we had the foresight to plan and that despite all the appalling times, money worries didn't come into it.

My DH died 18 months ago and I guess I was 'lucky' in that the life insurance / death in service was all ok
But it is amazing how many of us don't have up to date wills / arrangements re: DC / pets etc
I did take out 2 new life insurance policies as ours was a joint one so ended but it will be enough to cover funeral expenses and a couple of holidays (for the DC)

He'd have real problems being an adult if I did go first.
I think we’re in similar financial positions and this totally resonates too!! I sometimes think I simply can’t die because they’d be a bit stuck frankly.

have you got plans for dc in terms of uni support etc? Is that a way to make him think again that ok he’d be fine day to day but their long term future would be financially negatively affected? Is he simply (like so many including my dh) unwilling to think about his own death - which is understandable but you could sell as a set and forget policy once you’ve both agreed what works. He might also see it as wasted money and be thinking about the alternative; does he question house and car insurance?

And then remind him of that frequently. Call him Trevor occasionally too.

You can insure his life, if you want to.

I lost my DH last year, and, of course, the money coming in drops. But, as long as you have enough to live on, that’s all it needs to be.🤷‍♀️

You sound highly strung. I assume your mortgage is by far your highest bill - once this is gone you'd surely have lots more money freed up? This would be more than wiped out by the loss of a wage, but still a significant monthly saving.

It's not realistic to expect to live the same lifestyle if one of you died - of course you'd have less money. I'm sure you'd still have enough money to get by with a decent standard of living. Do your children go to a private school? This is the only big bill I can think of that could possibly wipe out a whole wage.

So you take out lots of life insurance on him ... job done.

Could you decrease your payments and put that money into an investment fund you have if he dies? He also gets it if you die, so you're both covered.

You are being ridiculous in my opinion. Your cover is decreasing, his isn't. So there's probably going to come a time when yours is shit and his is way better because its not decreasing. Not all jobs have death in service benefits, and you can't force someone into a job that does have this benefit.

Not all employers offer this, I've worked in places that do and places that dont, it not a universal benefit by any means

I think YABU to be annoyed at him. Most people avoid thinking about this kind of stuff. They shouldn't but they do, so it's not fair to be annoyed at him for doing what most people do.

In terms of whether he'd leave you with problems if he died, it depends on a couple of things

• Would continuing to work full-time be easy enough to do as a widow? This'll depend on your children's ages, whether they've any issues which make childcare more challenging, whether you've free childcare available from grandparents, etc, etc
• When you talk about having to cut £200/month spending from current lifestyle, is that easy enough to do? Some families could easily spend £200/month less without even really noticing, others there isn't really any fat to trim.
• What his pension pot is. Doesn't he get an annual statement?

How can you possibly not be able to afford your bills on one income if you had no mortgage? You sound over extended.

Ah ok. So a conversation needs to be had again if it genuinely worries you. We had to increase ours by I think 30k recently as we extended the house and mortgage and it was an extra £14 a month to cover this-so perhaps get a quote then take it from there. It may not be too expensive then he may be more willing. Good luck 🤞