Work cf stories. Anyone else work cheeky fuckers?

Yup - same way they always claim the most in expenses that admin don't bother about.

All our admin staff put £10 or so in a purple purse each month kept in a staff members drawer with the idea we would have an evening out when we'd saved enough.
The next month we went to put our contribution in we found the purse completely empty.
A member of staff had failed their probation the week before. No proof but v suspicious as no money has ever gone missing before.
We no longer try and save monthly. It only takes one act to sour the whole thing!

😁😁😁😁

Back in the 1980s I did some work for a major UK government department. At that time, there was a major difference between whether you were "full time" or "part time" with better benefits for full time workers in terms of holidays, sick leave, pensions and maternity pay. To be designated a full time worker you needed to work 40 hours/week in this government department.

When I was going through employment contracts it suddenly struck me that in this Department

• All of the men were on full-time contracts at 40 hours per week (apart from a handful of hourly paid casual staff)
• All of the women were designated "part-time" - on 39½ hour contracts.

It was an outrageous loophole.

.... Just for reference I worked for a different government department - full time - on 37 hours/week

Also not a work experience. I visited an upmarket fair some years back with my DM and bought some aromatherapy products as a treat for myself. We met my Aunt afterwards for lunch and a gang of her cronies. She asked if I had bought anything and I showed her the products which included some gel for cooling the skin. Aunt opened this, stuck her fingers in it to 'try it out' and passed it round all her friends as well. When it was finally returned to me half empty and with the odd hair in it was unfit for use. Aunt knew I was annoyed and thought it a highly amusing wheeze to have done this.

I did sort of get my revenge a couple of years later. Aunt was planning a return visit to the restaurant we ate lunch at. I found out the restaurant had recently been closed down as it was over run with cockroaches and was generally filthy. It was Aunt's favourite eating place in London and I took pleasure in telling her what had happened.

Apologies - it isn’t always easy to get sarcasm from the written word.

I wonder if the other people who have suggested or applauded this plan are being sarcastic too?

Same happened at my last employer. Management did the same even though we all chipped in £1 each. Some of the staff didn't get any Pizza but a box had been taken home by Management.

I used to work for Social Services in a building that had previously been a children's home. A very senior and extremely well paid member of staff came to visit and said that they were redesigning the ground floor to make better use of the very large reception area and old kitchen. He came round chatting to us all about it. My friend (we'll call her Barbara) and I worked on reception and were the lowest paid staff in the place. My friend thought she was being helpful and sketched out an idea of how she thought the new floor plan could look, dividing the space up into offices/interview rooms/cupboard, etc. It was brilliant and well thought out. When the manager had gone, I remember saying to her, let's have a look at that sketch again, it was really good. We couldn't find it anywhere. About a week later, we were all called into a meeting with the manager who proceeded to present us with an overhead projector slide show incorporating the EXACT floor plan that my friend had come up with and claimed it as his own brilliant idea. I was outraged and couldn't help myself and called out, "That was Barbara's bloody idea". The manager went bright red and mumbled something and there was a very long tumbleweed moment. Nothing more was said and he got all the thanks and praise for designing the new floor plan and it was built exactly as Barbara had suggested. It still irks us to this day! The building has since been demolished. I like to imagine him being made to watch. 😂

Worked in a v small company - less than 10 of us. On a Friday the boss would buy us all a maccys / kfc. Been there so long he would just give the card out to whoever volunteered to go get it. CF started after first 4 weeks he volunteered to go get our Friday lunch.

Boss had banking app on his phone and noticed that payment had been so much higher than usual.

He confronted CF and asked for a receipt. CF didn't have one so boss threaten to drive and get a print out receipt.

CF admitted to purchasing Maccys for all of his family and had them in his car which he was going to take home later for tea.

Food Friday stopped until CF left / was pushed - 4 weeks later !

😁

Yes! 😂

Didn't he have to buy a stamp for his letter to them?

I worked in a nursery. At Christmas the parents would bring gifts for staff like boxes of chocolates or biscuits. The staff never saw them. The manager had them locked in the cupboard in her office. I suspect she ate them herself throughout the year. One Christmas the owner asked her to buy us all a drink on our night out. I asked for a gin and tonic. She weirdly said "you can have the gin but not the tonic". She actually went to the bar and came back with just gin. It wasn't her that was paying for it so I don't understand her motivation. 🤷

Peter Pillows is an excellent nickname! 😂

I tell this story a lot, but it's too good not to share.

I used to be a legal clerk and the senior partner James* was very wealthy and also tighter than 2 coats of paint.

He had overpaid an invoice by 6p, so the company wrote to him about it and said they would donate the money to charity.

All fine and dandy, you'd think?

Au contraire! He wrote back (livid!) and said how dare you tell me what you'll do with my money.
That's mine, and I want it back. So, you'll send it to me in postage stamps.

And 2-3 days later, we received a letter from them, duly enclosing the 6p in 3x 2p stamps.
They must have thought it was hilarious.

I was stunned.

*not his real name

Took voluntary redundancy from my job of 26 years. Nasty two-faced bitch of a colleague, whose behaviour was one of the reasons why I decIded to leave, gave me a leaving present of a box of cheap chocolates. They were the same brand as those we were all given by our manager the previous Christmas. Definitely not sold in the shops in April. Binned them along with the card.

More criminal than CF, years ago worked in an office, wages about £30 pw. Very popular woman about to be 21, her birthday collection got to about £65, person who did the collection came in to find the card in her desk but the £65 gone. Never found the thief and it caused such bad feeling in the office.

He was cleared of the poisoning charge though!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528532/PC-switched-Powerade-screenwash-office-fridge-people-kept-stealing-CLEARED-poisoning-colleague.html

Allergictoironing · Today 06:44

Cripes! That's awful - and I bet the agency took every penny.

Not so much CFery as greedy accounting practice. I was working at a bank as a contractor on a major IT project, all contractors had to work through the same agency. We were on a daily rate for a "professional" 8 hour day, which meant we were expected to put in the odd longer day when there was a need.

The timesheet system was automated so you put in start, lunch & finish times then it went through the workflow system to manager approval, agency sign off and to the pay system, pay was calculated on a half day worked basis.

It was set up in such a way that it looked at each day, and if you'd got 8 hours or mare down you got a day's pay, 4-8 hours you got a half days pay. So you could work 7h 55mins and only get half a days pay for that day, while in the same week you could have done an extra hour or even 2 every other day & still only got 4 days pay for them.

I had a word with my manager (himself a contractor) and he out & out told me to adjust the hours I put down to ensure I was getting a full days pay for every day I worked - he had calculated that a couple of weeks previously I had worked 44 hours (so 4 OVER my contract) but had only been paid for 36 hours as I had left a few minutes early on one day after working late every other day.

I have got to agree that this is the right way to go as they aren't just taking advantage, they are actively almost gloating and rubbing it in with the 'Oh. Whats this?make sure you add it to the shared drive' comment. I understand your concerns about her doing your performance management reviews, but If you do see a marked downgrade after simply doing just your own planning and not theirs then you would have something to raise a concern with to senior management. Though if it doesn't much bother or inconvenience you then you may find it preferable to carry on as you are which Is understandable and people often do find themselves doing more than they are supposed to in jobs as they are effectively taking on tasks that a slightly more senior person is supposed to do, but raising the issue can often seem more hassle than just doing it. At least you know you're good at your job and your line manager trusts you and rates your planning! Xxx

That is horrific! How dare she take your make up like that?!

Not a work situation, but when I was at school a girl in my class has bought a new expensive concealer and left it in her bag while we did PE. A particularly nasty girl took it out while she was away and washed the whole lot down the sink and left the empty tube in the sink for her to find. It was the first really terrible thing I saw happen at school.

The milk thefts have reminded me of a heartwarming story.

In 2000, a colleague used to buy full fat milk for her coffee and some scumbag kept using it and putting the almost empty carton back in the fridge. She told people it was hers, not for general use and put her name on it.

It was no use, so she wrote "Lynsey's Don't fucking steal!" To no avail.

The "kitchen" was in an open area, but not easy to observe from the desks. She tried casually following people and making a cuppa, but couldn't catch the thief.

One day, a man was in the kitchen area and yelled out. A few of us scurried over, to see him holding her carton of full fat, gagging.

"What's up, Trevor?"

"Bleurgh! It's fucking SALTY!"

Lynsey came across and said, "That'll teach you to steal my milk, shit head!"

I work in Sales for a large service company. A Key Account Manager refuses to talk on the phone and will only email. He also refuses to talk to anyone he doesn't know. Another Key Account Manager is receiving a car allowance ($15k pa). He does not drive but uses the company uber account.

I once contracted a really good friend to come and do a day's teaching/lecture for me for a group of students I was looking after. The friend agreed to work that day for me as it was a non work day and they were at a loose end. I picked him up after breakfast, gave him a lift there and back ( 160 mile round trip) and paid for his lunch. Bought him a coffee in the afternoon and took him back to his house that evening.
He then proceeded to charge the organisation for travel expenses, breakfast and lunch expenses, his fee for lecturing ( charging extra hours for "prep time"), his fee for "loss of earnings" for the day as well as an overnight stay. The latter was declined.
I didn't realise the fee he claimed until many months later. In actual fact, his session with us totalled a tenth of the entire budget for the whole year.