Work cf stories. Anyone else work cheeky fuckers?

God's word 😂😂😂

Not my story but the greedy management stories reminded me an actor friend of mine was in a series with a very famous, very wealthy actor. Catering staff kept finding big items like catering-size jars of coffee and oil were going missing. Guess whose car boot they were discovered in?

Just one colleague asked around if anyone didn't want theirs so that both his DSs could have one. I thought that was really nice.
What was really nice about trying to blag a second freebie?

I am surprised the fundraising person could do this. Grants are normally only paid to a charity bank account in the name of the charity and a copy of the bank statement has to be provided before payment. Unless this was a long time ago when there may not have been the same safeguards?

A Barking Mad franchisee was the worst CF. Anyone starting with her had to be self employed and work a week, full time, free of charge, which she said was for 'training'.

She'd stay in bed until the middle of the day, but we would be expected to let ourselves into her house, clear up the piss and crap from her five dogs who weren't house trained and then go off collecting/delivering dogs.

We'd be expected to dog sit overnight at her house if she had to go away, free of charge to her. We were also expected to be available seven days a week. I said I could only do Monday to Friday as I also had a second job and was a single parent to two teenagers.

The final straw was when she asked me to work on a Saturday and consecutive Sunday, I refused (well, I was self employed after all...), she threw her toys out of the proverbial pram so I told her to stick it. She didn't pay my final invoice and took to Facebook (forgetting I had her login as I was required to post on there), slagging me off, saying I was going to prison, that I wasn't to be allowed near animals.

She was an absolute cow and even her sons wanted nothing to do with her and had gone NC.

Omg a woman I worked with did exactly this whenever we ordered Dominoes! She’d put slices to one side to take home for her children.. no hun pay for your own kid’s dinners 😂😂

For a year before I went to university, I was the workplace CF.

I did about an hour of work every day.
I basically spent the year walking around the building clutching a pile of paperwork to appear busy.
Whenever I wasn't doing this, I was camped at colleagues' desks pretending to get training but, instead, gossiping or flirting.
I had flings with quite a few colleagues.
In the run-up to financial year-end when we had huge targets to meet, I went off sick for a month because I couldn't be arsed with it.
I never stole food though.

At my leaving party, my boss, his boss and his boss all tried to convince me to ditch university and stay at the company, or to come back after my degree. Madness.

I don't know what happens to some people when they get to work. When I worked in HR, we regularly dealt with issues around stolen lunches. Who steals a lunch?! Who goes into a fridge and spots someone else's food and thinks 'I'll have that'. I worked with people then who, on the surface, you'd never have down as thieves. We would put on a Christmas party at work with three "sittings" so that everyone could attend on whatever shift they were on. It was a buffet which we would obviously refresh and renew between sittings and a few party games with prizes. This was held in the canteen and organised by us in HR, so we did all the food/games etc. The greed was unreal. We had people shovelling chocolates into pockets by the handful and even people sneaking up between sittings to take more food when they had already had their party. You'd think they'd never been fed. Also, the mess! The often purposeful mess people would leave. Unwashed cutlery and plates left in the sink, tea bags thrown against the wall or left in the sink, rotting food or milk in the fridge, piss all over toilet seats (or worse). I always wondered if people behaved like this in their own homes. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone, but it was surprisingly common behaviour.

I used to work with a boss who at 2pm every day, would kick back his chair, tip back his head, and have a 45 minute nap. Every day. Not his lunch break - he took those earlier in the day. Didn't even hide it - it was incredible.

My current colleagues are CFers in the sense that they all refuse to work Christmas because they've got kids - but I've had that in every job I've worked.

Just keep ‘forgetting’ - she cannot say anything as you are planning and performing. Or call in sick/come in late one day just to see what she does ?

I was given £200 as a Christmas gift by a customer. I told my manager who said I had to give her the money as we are not allowed to accept gifts due to bribery rules. She said she would keep it away for the next team night out. The money never appeared at future nights out and I really regret telling her I'd been given the money. £200 is a massive amount of money to me.

I may have misunderstood, but can't you just put year 10 in the shared drive, and hang on to your year 11 stuff, so you've got it in the bag, but as you weren't supposed to do it anyway there shouldn't be a problem with you not sharing it?

I don't know if this counts as it was a voluntary role, but I used to run a community facility and the thefts of stuff left out for public use were constant

Regular hirers had their own storage cupboards, so the time came when I had to do spot inspections and ask for them to be opened, and the OAP group in particular went bananas ... "Ooooo NOOOO Puzzled, not the old people!!!"

When unlocked it was like Aladdin's Cave in there

So many of these revolve around food, as does mine.

Old workplace used to put on a free in-house conference for all staff once a year. A buffet lunch was provided but due to the layout of the venue there was often one very long queue. A couple of years running the food ran out before the people at the back of the queue got near the tables (even though numbers had been considered) so someone decided to look into it. Turned out certain members of staff were loitering near the table to ‘network’ and were helping themselves to seconds and thirds whilst people were still queuing. They claimed they hadn’t realised and thought this was extra available for the taking. The certain members of staff were of course the senior management 🙄

Colleague was a local councillor (with a salary and bonuses for being on various committees).

He spent more time doing his council work than his job in the office. Using his work email, printing things off on our printers, and he gave council staff and his constituents the office phone number (we didn't have direct lines) and refused to give them his home or mobile numbers! And he never told them when he was on leave.

One of his constituents was extremely rude and unpleasant every time he rang. And the council staff spoke to my colleague and I (because he was always the last to answer the phone) as if we were his PAs!

Husband and wife both working for the same organisation (but different departments). Both off at exactly the same time, sick leave on full pay.

Which amazing coincidentally was the exact time their sone was relocating from the other side of the world.

Had a coworker running a re-sale shop out of her (glass walled) office. You could see the garments piled up, hanging over chairs, hanging on a coat rack. She took photos, posted the photos, sold items, had mailroom staff send out the items. She also received items that she marked up and re-sold so she had a lot of incoming deliveries.

I never faulted her. This was a management problem. She wasn't hiding anything.

Nah you don't go to Australia and the Maldives in one year on the price of a massive roll of bog roll and 6 pints of lager

He was from a very wealthy landed family

He was just a tight arse

I'd have to call that out - that just isn't fair.
How about a cheeky "I will when you will" kind of response to this 'manager' who is basically getting you to do their homework for them??
Do you have anyone you could go to about how your work is being passed off as theirs? Can you put a watermark on your work (perhaps hidden in white on a white background) so that you could protect your work and claim credit for it if/when the time comes?

Someone I worked with was dismissed for stealing food. There had been an afternoon Xmas office party and the owners had specifically bought a sandwich platter, boxes of chocolate champagne for the outsourced cleaning company staff (which had been made clear to staff). She took some of these home so was fired for theft.

She was notorious for hoovering up any left overs for meetings/birthdays.

Last week, as we were breaking up for summer after a particularly hard year at school, the governors sent us a box of cupcakes which was a really lovely thought. However, there were 4. We have 60 staff in school 😅

At my old job we were all working on Easter Sunday and I bought everyone a full size Easter egg each, given out in our midday briefing meeting.

Two of my team couldn't get to the meeting so I said I'd bring the eggs up to them, at the end of the meeting I caught one woman putting three eggs in her locker. I said "It's only one per person, those are for Alex and Ben" and she stuck her bottom lip out and said "That's not fair, I can't go home with just one egg I have three children".

I left that job two years ago now but it still pisses me off 😂

That's how he could afford the holidays by being tight and looking after the pennies, he has the pounds available to spend

A long time ago student me worked in a training department of the civil service as a holiday job. Refreshments were set out with an honesty box and price list. Everything put out was counted. Lower grades were always spot on with paying for what they took. The higher the grades being trained, the bigger the discrepancy between what was taken and what was actually paid for. The most senior grades never paid for anything, but generously helped themselves. At the time I was shocked- now I am much older and have experienced the type of people who generally get to the top of organisations I am entirely unsurprised.

Oh I thought about this one a long the years (20+ in fact) so will be interesting to gauge if I’m being petty of if this is in fact CF territory.

Big FTSE 100 company gets a swanky new headquarters and the Queen comes to the opening. Who does the CEO pick from his 5000+ employees to greet her at the top of the steps….. his children. Presumably takes them out of school for a day for their once in a life time opportunity of meeting the queen. How is that appropriate for an office opening. Left a really bad taste in my mouth. But am I just being petty as obviously he couldn’t pick everyone and presumably the c-suite / board members all got to meet her.