Work cf stories. Anyone else work cheeky fuckers?

I don’t get why that’s nice? 🤣

Using toilet roll while going to the loo during the day is an acceptable business expense, but why should the company pay for the costs of a completely unrelated activity? OK so it may "only" be £50-odd every time she does her printing (but maybe more, we only know "reams" each time) but if everybody did the same, every week, the company could be down thousands. And to be blunt, it IS theft.

The ubiquitous milk thieves are a problem at my office too. We have tea, coffee, sugar and milk supplied but the milk is those little long life cartons like you get in hotel rooms. I could mark my fresh milk with my name and team on all 4 sides and my initials on the lid but it would still go missing regularly, presumably because whoever they are prefer fresh milk. I am the lowest grade person in that part of the building.

My father used to be a buyer, and at Christmas there would be great bounty of booze, cigarettes/cigars (this was back in the 70's and 80's), hampers etc, all addressed to the individual who was the contact for that account. These would be delivered by the post room to the desks of the recipient. Then one year, virtually nothing came up from the post room. Dad went down to see what was going on, only to be told his HoD had said the post room were to keep it all there and he would collect it for his staff - he was seen later that day going out to his car hauling a large cricket bag (so about 2 feet by 2 feet by 5 feet) filled with all the gifts from suppliers. He had been doing this every day for the past couple of weeks. To give you an idea of the amounts, dad would only bring home half his haul and give the rest to his assistant, and in a typical year would bring home around a dozen bottles of scotch some limited edition with decanters/glasses, another dozen or so of assorted other booze, maybe a case or so of good wines, a few thousand cigarettes and a few packs of cigars and some more lower value items - there were about 8 staff working for that HoD, so 15 to 16 times that list above went into the HoD's car that year.

A colleague of mine was given a secondment to a promotion to cover maternity leave. Got glowing feedback from our manager.

lady on maternity chose not to return, colleague applied for the role, that she had been doing for a year now, but was refused due to “lack of experience”.

She left for the equivalent role at a competitor and the manager asked her on leaving, if he could name her on his cv and linkend in profile as a person he successfully mentored!!!

Worked with a woman who would always say ‘Oh I’m taking some for ‘ds’’ she was the most selfish person ever. Once one of the girls had enough, this girl’ partner was ached and sent in a cake for her birthday as a surprise. She called out ‘Actually x could you just take one piece until everyone has had what they want as it’s for my colleagues not your family. You can certainly take another piece if there is some left’ we all made sure there was none left lol.

One of my HT used to pinch my dear little bone China mug - which had actually been a present for a friend so was a bit special - because she thought it was pretty! She then used to hide it in her loo. I was friends with the cleaner so she used to liberate my mug and return it to me. This HT was notorious for tight fisted ness and her casual attitude to other peoples property. We had an OFSTED, I couldn’t find my fruity teabags, she had put them in the OFSTED inspectors room for their use. I claimed them back. Someone else lent her a fitness dvd, which she claimed to have lost, but never offered to replace, she was a nightmare.

We had the company IT guy buy extra computers plus cables etc then sell the surplus stuff off. Eventually he was got caught and fired over the €500 odd quid owed to the company.

I work with a CF. We had a work party once and she was picking me up so I invited her in for a couple of drinks, she declined but put them in her bag and said she would have them later. I sort of laughed because I didn’t know what to say. Another time she happened to be round at the time we eat dinner. I got a takeaway, asked her what she’d like and she ordered the biggest of everything, that was cheeky enough but then she asked if she could take my leftovers “for tomorrow”. Funnily enough, we don’t socialise any more.

IT director at a national charity who apparently stole tens of thousands of pounds in equipment that he'd bought specifically to rob. Annoyingly he was not only not prosecuted, he wasn't even sacked! He was allowed to resign.

Also worked at a supermarket where, for example, one elderly staff member was sacked for eating a piece of food from the stock, whilst a senior manager was caught stealing from the tills and was not sacked, just allowed to resign!

Always seems to be the senior ones doing and getting away with it!

No one manages our post room (college) and so it has become like the Wild West. People ripping open packages and just taking what they like. There is talk of CCTV going in to prevent people pilfering.

It's not a good look is it?

😂

Many examples for this company.

Owners claimed they couldn't afford a Christmas do this year because the company wasn't doing well (bullshit they were both buying second/third homes). This caused massive grumbling because they literally gave us the actual minimum everything, holiday, sick pay, etc etc. they must of picked up on this because they eventually booked us in to go to the dog racing....in February. We had to gamble out own money and got the cheapest buffet of sausage rolls and white sandwiches. Some of the lads got too into it and gambled over a month of pay they couldn't afford.

Same company. Rewrote everyone's contract to state that in the case of anyone having an accident that led to us missing a day of work, should we get compensation for that accident then we were required to reinburse the company for the missed day of work out of the compensation. I have no idea if this was legal but apparently it was run passed the HR lady that none of us met or had contact info for.

I hope God has a cost code to charge to

😂

I worked with someone who was always off sick or had some emergency or dire thing happen to him. When he was at work he did fuck all. If you ever asked him a favour, swapping duties, it was always met with a no, sorry he couldn't. Strolled into the office most days at 10am, took his hours lunch, went missing at random times during the day for an hour at a time and promptly left the office at 5pm. No idea how he managed to fit a full working week in.

The role included duty days dealing with emergencies, there were two of us on duty and you were expected to stay online or in the office until the job was done. He was my duty partner and we still had loads of work. He told me towards the end of the day he was heading away for the weekend and needed to log off at 5pm as he had a train to catch. I would have been happy to cover if he was a team player. He stayed online a bit longer than he planned but left me to finish on my own. He texted me later to say he'd missed his train. (Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke).

I emailed my whole team to ask for office cover for a day as I had plans and was actually scheduled to be in two weeks on the bounce. (Was meant to be one week in and the next at home).

I got a message from him to say sorry he couldn't cover me.

My manager looked at the rota and said 'why are you in the office two weeks in a row' quickly changed this to CF and he was then begging for office cover. He probably thought I had said something, I hadn't but was quite funny.

@ShiningforLeeBertie that was my thread 😄 and nothing to report, he hasn’t been out much since (not with my team at all!)

She was printing reams of paper every week, not a few pages! She was dismissed soon after for gross misconduct for something unrelated to the printing.

Most offices count how much photocopying you do. My last office used to send an email round every month to those who had done the most copying, with hints on how to reduce paper use.

I was on the school PTA years ago...

After some building work we had to give up our cupboard and share with the art supplies in the staff room. Every fete I would have to replace reusable supplies and our catering size tea/coffee/sugar would always have disappeared. At one point the PTA Chair walked in on a member of staff helping themselves to our flashing deely boppers/rings/glosticks etc that we sold at the discos because they were going on a hen do.

We eventually moved our stuff elsewhere (which we organised and paid for) and the main culprits were livid that only the PTA chair and the school caretaker had access to it.

I've remembered another. I signed off on all the invoices for engineers travel. they were used to travel to and from the airport. The taxi company gave them a receipt to sign for each journey so they weren't out their own money

When the invoice from the taxi company came all the signed dockets were attached and there were about 10 with my signature. They'd been getting taxis to the pub and forging my name.

Again bastards as I couid have got into big trouble, but they didn't realise I got all their receipts to verify.

Long time ago and I must have been 8 months pregnant. Working a bit late (my official hours were 9.30-5.30) as it was central London in August and the tubes were quieter after 6.30. Thinking of packing up and heading home when one of the senior directors handed me a 50 page contract to fax. His PA had gone home at 5 so he just gave it to me to send instead. The final straw was that, he then buggered off home too.

Now if the CF had asked me nicely and I knew he was beavering away in his office, I’d have been okay about it. It was the fact that he knew it needed faxing that night, but had let his PA leave anyway as he was aware I’d likely still be around, so he just assumed I had nothing better to do after hours than his work. He was an arrogant twat and nobody liked him.

After I saw him swan out of the front door, I promptly burst into (furious) tears and was sobbing angrily, when the Chairman’s chauffeur walked in and found me. He promptly hot-footed it up to Chairman’s office and told her all about it. She called me in, and packed me off home in chauffeur-driven car. I didn’t find out until months later that she rang him at home straightaway, completely bollocked him, reminded him I was v pregnant and and told him that he was NEVER EVER to ask me to do anything for him EVER AGAIN. He didn’t.

p.s. I did happen to be the Chairman’s PA which obviously helped, but actually she would have reacted the same way it he’d done it to someone else.

To redress the balance from a manager perspective- I had some CF in my teams
One put a case of wine for a customer on his expenses- next joint visit I asked to go to that customer- did not happen again

One needed to travel overseas. He had a company car- he tried to claim taxi to the airport and mileage while he was away as his wife was driving it

One when at a meeting in Germany claimed he had no money and borrowed 50 Euro from me ( this was not in days of yore you could use a cashpoint) then was shocked when in addition to me signing his expenses I wanted the 50 Euro back- I explained I was not his mum.

One decided to shower naked on a beach in Israel- causing me to have to deal with the police- complained that everyone showered naked- not in public unless pissed they don't

one pocket dialled me when going to the cinema with their child during the work day

One assumed because I was booked into the same hotel- by a centralised travel function - it meant I wanted to shag him

Same - is she saying he either used their money to buy them? Or the personal possessions they put in were chocolate biscuits?

Gold star for you. Well done on your valuable contribution.

Do you count how many sheets of toilet roll your colleagues use?

Got made redundant and decided to move to Scotland - hence the name.
Last day I took in loads of Tunnocks items for workmates.
Staff took one each at morning break.
Management took the remainder as refreshments for a meeting.

Used to work with someone who grabbed the Christmas chocolates (Quality Street, Roses tins etc) provided by chief exec and some suppliers and fished out every one of the purple caramel ones and stashed them in her drawer. We're talking probably a dozen tins of them that were handed in over the festive period.

One year, someone must have sneaked into her drawer and crushed them all to bits leaving her drawer covered in caramel. We never found out who did that but it was hilarious!