To not understand why people get married?

It is a legal statement of a relationship which can be ended by death or divorce. Pension nominees, wills, NOK statements can be unilaterally changed but a marriage cannot be so easily undone.

A marriage exists until it doesn't exist. You can't legally start another marriage without legally ending the first one.

Marriage is internationally recognised. Cohabitation less universally. A MNer described that her DH had suddenly died on holiday abroad. She said that being married meant that it was far easier to get assistance than if they had not been married.

Most of the time it doesn't matter whether you are married or not. However there can be occasions when it is important to be able to show to authorities that legally you are a couple.

What parts of it do you think are difficult to obtain? Or are you suggesting a legal protection that could be obtained by the woman without the consent of the children's father?

Marriage and a wedding are not the same.

I value the financial protection of marriage but not the show of a wedding.

Consequently we got married on a weekday for under £250, include paying for lunch for ourselves and witnesses.

Home in jammies later that day.

My uncles partner thought the same as you so they never got married. They'd been together 20 years, he was in a very high paying job and paid a fortune into his pension. She earns well too, although not as well as him so she thought marriage was unnecessary and a waste of time. He died last year at the age of 59 and hadn't made a will so everything has gone to his daughter leaving the partner with nothing

You say house is 50/50? Does that mean you have the variety of ownership where you both own half? Presumably his half comes to you via the will, but it's part of the estate, and depending on value could tip you over the IHT allowance.

The simple fact that my late FIL and his DP of 20 years never married is about to cost their children tens of thousands of pounds in IHT as DH and his siblings were never "official" step children and my FIL died first.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/#:~:text=Your%20legal%20rights%20as%20a,than%20if%20you're%20married.

Know the differences and then make an informed choice.

Very specific situation, but I would have lost my job if I had decided to cohabit without marrying.

I would be very happy to see marriage replaced by easier to obtain legal protections for women who have children. It is almost impossible to disentangle it from its dark roots, as is evident in parts of the world where women used to change their last name but men didn’t!

*Waste of money and merely a show to the world *

That's the wedding celebrations. Getting married is not expensive and gives various legal advantages, which otherwise you would do via a civil partnership which is not necessarily any cheaper.

There is also the aspect of showing your commitment to your friends and family, being established as a permanent partner not a transient girlfriend/boyfriend.

We spent £120 on it. It's a legal document and we treated it as such. No rings, no name changes, not a big deal. Don't even bother telling people unless it's relevant eg it's asked on an insurance form. Expensive weddings can be a waste of money if that's not how the couple really wanted to spend it but marriage itself is just a way to make things more legally straightforward esp if one of you dies or you split up.

Some people (women particularly) benefit from the legal protections that marriage confers.

Some people would be disadvantaged legally by marriage.

Depends on each individual circumstances. People should look into the pros and cons before making such momentous decisions.

If she earns significantly more, marriage would probably leave her worse off...

I knew I wanted to reduce my hours when we had children. I made it clear that there was absolutely no chance of that happening without being married first.

To get married costs less than £200 for all the fees.
It's a wedding that's cost alot and noone is saying you must do it but many people want to do it.
For me, planning my wedding was fun. I spent all my spare time over a year planning it from trying wedding cake to wedding dresses. It wasn't stressful....I enjoyed seeing all the details come together. We planned a whole.mknth away on a honeymoon which I was equally planning at the same time.

But marriage in my eyes is important. Gives us all legally the same surname. It makes me feel like we are a proper family unit and helps for when I take my child out the country without the father as we have the same surname so don't need documents to prove why our names are different. It makes things smoother and quicker later when one of us dies and has to transfer who's entitled to what etc. It's more beneficial for my kid.

In my eyes, those who dont get married are probably claiming single parent allowance and other benefits, but then I've known too many dodgy people and I've heard and seen every rule that people try and bend so I'm left suspicious of what and the fact they they just anrt serious enough about the person they are with. That's just my personal view on it tho.

Just to add. After nearly 15 years married I don't regret spending the money for the wedding or honeymoon. I can always make more money.

I would never have kids without marriage. I was an SAHM for a while and also moved for his job, thereby reducing my earning capacity.
DH earns way more than me.

For all these reasons, I want legal protection and an equal share of our assets. It mitigated my risk.

Don't know why I got married really, I think it was he'd been married before and I wanted him to show the same level of commitment to me...daft in hindsight. We'd still be together even if we hadn't got married...

Also I enjoyed the party.

Marriage and weddings are two separate things. We are getting married to be married, can spend just a couple of hundred in a registry office, it is a legal commitment to each other

I don't see any reason for it either for my own situation. Our house and business are already 50/50 with life insurance if the other dies. No tax benefits. Power of attorney for each other in case it's needed, plus wills. No kids and no plans to have kids.

Partner has already done more to commit to me than most husbands have.

Today there is an article on the guardian about a woman stuck on a joint mortgage with a man who won't let her sell the house or buy him out - a problem that would not exist had they been married because it would have been settled in the divorce.

Now I have children and work p/t to be available for them, self-employed and without workplace benefits I am so glad I am married. If my husband dies I know I won't be left high and dry.

We got married in 2018 and it was done for love, not something you hear a lot of the time on MN but it genuinely was because of love and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together and share a name. Money didn’t even cross our minds as a reason

I think all couples should look at the legal benefits and ramifications of marriage/civil partnership versus cohabitation and work out what's best for them.
Some things can be covered by other documents, others can't.

Its a personal decision. Its greatly beneficial for us in our circumstances.

Love is a separate matter. Obviously you should love your spouse... but equally you can love your partner

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

It's a legal union - it doesn't always make sense to marry these days especially later in life when after previous marriages or when have more assets - so people need to look at their own circumstances. .

But it is a legal union and what implications that comes with that needs considering not just the wedding day.

I married aged 23 and it was purely because my husband and I wanted to make that official commitment simply because it felt right for us (not saying it's right for everyone or that it's any better than a long-term relationship, just that it's what WE wanted to do).
I'd always dreamed of a fairytale wedding but when it came to marrying him, I honestly would have been happy wearing a simple summer dress from the nearest clothes shop/supermarket and then going to the pub for a pint. My ring is a simple gold band that we bought from Argos the day before the wedding.
We're a year away from our Silver Wedding now but I have friends in long-term relationships who are just as happy and devoted and have been together just as long.
It's all personal preference I think, although my husband and I have both felt abandonment issues in our childhoods/teens which may well have influenced us to marry as quickly as we did (within 2 years of meeting)