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AIBU?

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Original poster

Travelled to friend's house for dinner, just strawberries for desert - AIBU to think it's low effort?

660 replies

Carefreebie · 24/07/2024 00:44

On the weekend my partner and I travelled to a friend's house for dinner. The journey was over an hour by train.

The main course was sausages with nice sides (potato salad, tomato salad, another salad). That was nice.

But desert was just strawberries with some pouring cream.

We had a nice time, but AIBU to feel that the desert was very low effort and unexciting, and should have been more exciting than strawberries given the journey?

When my friend came to mine, I did a 3-course meal, feeling I should make a big effort because of her long journey.

OP posts:
Ilikeadrink14 · 24/07/2024 13:05

Thunderpants88 · 24/07/2024 09:53

look I’m going to give you some serious advice here. If you want a fancy meal out, book a restaurant and pay for what you eat. One hour on a train? You didn’t scale Everest to go for dinner catch a grip.

I have an extremely busy life with kids, work, parents, family and friends. I used to go ALL out for meals. I mean fine dining food. Did I enjoy the experience? No I was stressed, exhausted and spent a small fortune. I wasn’t present with the company we had round because I was run ragged trying to “impress”. I have massively loosened the reins and had a word with myself. My family don’t deserve to have a snappy Mum because I want to impress people. That’s a massive me problem. So yesterday we had friends round for a BBQ in the sun a couple of years ago it would have taken me hours prepping everything. This time it was burgers, sausages and bbq salmon. A bought tub of potato salad, coleslaw and some cut up tomatoes, lettuce and cheese. Job done. They got a free dinner and I was actually present with my friend and we had a great long chat. The days / time spent with friends is an investment of my time and I would be annoyed if what my friends were actually coming over for was fine cuisine and not my company and fun.

You have three distinct issues here.

  1. you are treating the meal as transactional “I cooked X standard of meal so that’s what I want back. True friends are not transactional and don’t treat time together as such
  2. you are equating how much you thinks she values you by the amount of money and time she spent cooking for you. Bollocks and again transactional
  3. you are taking zero stock of what other pressures she had going on all week and that maybe she wanted to be relaxed and stressed prepping food
  4. SEXIST much? You don’t mention HIS lack of effort, just hers.

also FYI two packets of strawberries and cream will have cost close to £10. You can buy a triffel for £5 in Tesco. I would argue it was a very thoughtful dessert when strawberries are actually in season, delicious and there was the weather for it. Personally I wouldn’t even eat dessert ever as I don’t like it and don’t see the point after a carbs filling meal so strawberries would be my perfect dessert

you need to catch a grip and seriously reevaluate your expectations of other people and if the only thing you are taking from time spent with friends is your scorn and judgement on what they serve for dinner then do THEM a favour and cut them loose. I would not want to be friends with someone as judgemental as you

I’d LOVE a ‘Triffel’ !! 😂

purplecorkheart · 24/07/2024 13:00

I don't see what is wrong with the meal. It sounds like an ideal summer meal (and I say that as someone who does not eat strawberries). I would much rather a simple meal and spend the time chatting with a relaxed friend rather sitting while my friend is stressing out in the kitchen making something fancy. Very little clean up afterwards too so more time with friends.

twodowntwotogo · 24/07/2024 13:00

Cinocino · 24/07/2024 12:58

😂 what is mumsnet’s obsession with class.
Cheesecake isn’t classy and the super posh always serve fish pie?

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So. Obsessed.

Cinocino · 24/07/2024 12:58

Bideshi · 24/07/2024 12:47

Don't be. Strawberries and cream is a classy pudding. Cheesecakes and rich gateaux are not. Good food thoughtfully chosen and served is so much better than some of the concoctions I read about here. The superposh always seem to serve fish pie if you go for a grand meal, cheese and fruit for dessert. Always a beautifully laid table though.

Show quote history

😂 what is mumsnet’s obsession with class.
Cheesecake isn’t classy and the super posh always serve fish pie?

Isobel201 · 24/07/2024 12:57

Strawberries as a light snack or small desert is lovely, I'd have maybe included a meringue if it was me but its not the end of the world surely?

xsquared · 24/07/2024 12:54

I used to serve strawberries with cream and some shop bought meringue so that people could do their own Eton mess. No one complained and there were never any leftover strawberries either so it can't be they bad!

Guessing that it was hot over the weekend, therefore he host just didn't want to turn all the hobs and the oven on. Sounds sensible to me.

Windchiming · 24/07/2024 12:54

MissTrip82 · 24/07/2024 12:30

I love strawberries and cream.

Do you eat a lot of processed food is that why it seemed boring to you?

Sausages are also processed. How about cooking a bit?

mindutopia · 24/07/2024 12:53

God, you’d hate me then! Sometimes I do a fruit salad with a mix of tinned fruit cocktail 🙄 and fresh strawberries and grapes served with ice cream when we have guests. It’s low effort, kids will eat it (ds doesn’t generally like pudding) and my diabetic MIL approves.

Lifeofthepartay · 24/07/2024 12:52

Did you go to see your friend or for a meal? I always do a 2 course meal when my friends come but tbh when I am visiting even if it's a long drive, as long as we are fed , I couldn't care if it's sandwiches or whatever, and water , we visit for the company....

Windchiming · 24/07/2024 12:52

Canonlythinkofthisone · 24/07/2024 00:56

If I was your friend, and I read this quite outing post.
I'd tell my ungrateful spoilt ex friend (that's you btw) not to come back.

Why spoilt? You mean sausages and potato are spoiling someone.
I do think it's low effort when someone makes effort to visit you from far. When they do, OP shows the appreciation for the efforts they make for the visit by making effort in food department.
Op, next time provide them low effort meals too. Because if their company alone is so special when you visit them, yours should also be.

Ilikeadrink14 · 24/07/2024 12:51

Carefreebie · 24/07/2024 00:54

I'm not meaning to say I ever hope for super impressive food. I just find a bowl of strawberries very unexciting.

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I think you were trying to say exactly that! I am so glad you aren’t MY friend. You are so rude and it was unbelievable that you thought the dessert was inferior.
Maybe I’m biased as I adore strawberries and cream.

NippyCrab · 24/07/2024 12:49

SquidgeyB · 24/07/2024 00:59

Well I had friends over at the weekend and made sausages with salads and strawberries and cream.....feeling quite hurt at this post!!

@BeachParty

YOYOK · 24/07/2024 12:48

Topee · 24/07/2024 11:25

Long journey? It takes many people longer than that to get to work! YABU.

I must let my boss know she owes me a 3 course breakfast when I arrive at the office. 😁

Bideshi · 24/07/2024 12:47

lifesrichpageant · 24/07/2024 05:31

I get quite anxious when "entertaining" and one of the reasons is because of attitudes like this. So many of us are not skilled in the kitchen or have limited budgets. As someone who serves strawberries and cream often as a dessert, this post makes me feel a bit sad.

Don't be. Strawberries and cream is a classy pudding. Cheesecakes and rich gateaux are not. Good food thoughtfully chosen and served is so much better than some of the concoctions I read about here. The superposh always seem to serve fish pie if you go for a grand meal, cheese and fruit for dessert. Always a beautifully laid table though.

MissMoneyFairy · 24/07/2024 12:46

Carefreebie · 24/07/2024 00:54

I'm not meaning to say I ever hope for super impressive food. I just find a bowl of strawberries very unexciting.

Show quote history

Pretty expensive too, maybe you could have taken dessert with you or had something to your taste delivered

FatOaf · 24/07/2024 12:43

Please tell your "friend" this so she knows not to invite you again.

This is yet another example of the peculiar Mumsnet definition of the word "friend" to mean someone you don't like or respect.

Comedycook · 24/07/2024 12:42

MissTrip82 · 24/07/2024 12:30

I love strawberries and cream.

Do you eat a lot of processed food is that why it seemed boring to you?

Head tilt

Anon22224 · 24/07/2024 12:35

I also had this exact thing for meal and dessert for family friends at the weekend!!! Everyone seemed to enjoy it but I guess I need to up my game!

Comefromaway · 24/07/2024 12:33

I'd have not even served dessert. I never do. If we have something like that it is always mid afternoon, never after a meal.

user49284 · 24/07/2024 12:32

wow are you for real OP

MissTrip82 · 24/07/2024 12:30

I love strawberries and cream.

Do you eat a lot of processed food is that why it seemed boring to you?

Testina · 24/07/2024 12:28

Oh good lord 😂😂😂

Ilovemyshed · 24/07/2024 12:28

Seasonal and delicious, whats not to like about strawberries? Seems like a perfectly acceptable June/July pud to me.

And the sausages and sides sound bbq'y so equally fine.

Why do you want so much fuss?

user1496146479 · 24/07/2024 12:26

Love strawberries & cream! Grin

Magnastorm · 24/07/2024 12:26

You say the journey was over an hour?

How on earth did you manage that? A whole hour sitting on your arse and only a 2 course meal to sustain you. The horror.