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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Travelled to friend's house for dinner, just strawberries for desert - AIBU to think it's low effort?

660 replies

Carefreebie · 24/07/2024 00:44

On the weekend my partner and I travelled to a friend's house for dinner. The journey was over an hour by train.

The main course was sausages with nice sides (potato salad, tomato salad, another salad). That was nice.

But desert was just strawberries with some pouring cream.

We had a nice time, but AIBU to feel that the desert was very low effort and unexciting, and should have been more exciting than strawberries given the journey?

When my friend came to mine, I did a 3-course meal, feeling I should make a big effort because of her long journey.

OP posts:
BooksAndFootie · 27/07/2024 13:59

How can you rate your friendship based on the food you’re offered? Sounds to me that you have some issues here - not normal behaviour.

chattyness · 27/07/2024 13:48

I love strawberries and cream they are expensive, low effort yes but delicious all the same I'd have been delighted to have been offered them.
Maybe your friend wanted to focus on spending time with you rather than fannying around in the kitchen all night.
You made an extra effort when you hosted, but that's your way of doing things, you can't expect everyone to do as you want them to, maybe she just wasn't up to it on the day and did her best. You had a nice time together isn't that what really matters ?

Epicaricacy · 27/07/2024 13:37

Such a shame this silly thread will put some people off and stop them inviting friends and serving a perfectly fine lunch.

Strawberries, fruit salad.... of course it's a normal dessert?

Would you prefer them drenched in cognac and have them flambe or something? 😂

74Violette · 27/07/2024 13:34

Yeah the main and dessert are weird choices and low effort but not a big deal really.

Bertsmum22 · 27/07/2024 13:31

When we go to friends for dinner we never have dessert really so I’d be fine with that. You could have taken dessert as I also often do. You sound hard work!!

Bp72924 · 27/07/2024 13:28

Carefreebie · 24/07/2024 00:44

On the weekend my partner and I travelled to a friend's house for dinner. The journey was over an hour by train.

The main course was sausages with nice sides (potato salad, tomato salad, another salad). That was nice.

But desert was just strawberries with some pouring cream.

We had a nice time, but AIBU to feel that the desert was very low effort and unexciting, and should have been more exciting than strawberries given the journey?

When my friend came to mine, I did a 3-course meal, feeling I should make a big effort because of her long journey.

Might be useful learning how to spell dessert before expecting one.

Carebearsonmybed · 27/07/2024 11:58

I'd be glad of something in season and not UHP.

What did you serve as dessert?

What did you want/expect?

MamaAgainAt40 · 27/07/2024 11:56

Wow I think you're being really judgemental and unreasonable, and rather shallow. Your friend went to the effort of buying and preparing food to share with you, her "friend", and you are judging her like you're on an episode of come dine with me. Surely you're there to see and spend quality time with your friend, not mark her on her catering?? I personally would love that dinner, and appreciate the opportunity to share it with someone I loved.

Valhalla2507 · 27/07/2024 11:42

Strawberries on their own, as your title suggested. Yes weird.
Strawberries with cream. Very nice desert.

HungryWombat · 27/07/2024 11:40

This thread made me get strawberries and cream yesterday. Kids were delighted.

Going to serve it to guests for pudding today too 😁

katebushh · 27/07/2024 11:39

This cannot be real. Who the hell do you think you are!!

Myotherrideisabroom · 27/07/2024 11:36

Who is your friend? I'll be their friend if they are going to feed me strawberries and cream 😋.

Maybe do them a favour, and cut off the friendship

SocksAndTheCity · 25/07/2024 11:55

Grantanow · 25/07/2024 11:48

Some mothers do have 'em. I rather like strawberries and cream.

I do too. I also like cheesecake, poached pears, sausages and pretty much everything else, though.

In addition, I not only know the difference between 'desert' and 'dessert' but also when it should be 'pudding'. Either way I'll eat it and not moan, because I'm not a graceless twat.

Grantanow · 25/07/2024 11:48

Some mothers do have 'em. I rather like strawberries and cream.

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 25/07/2024 08:04

The struggle is real

BruceAndNosh · 25/07/2024 05:44

I served strawberries as dessert to guests last week and now I'm worried.
But they were (breathy voice) Marks and Spencer strawberries...
I'm pretty sure none of my guests travelled more than 25 minutes, so I might have got away with it

JudgeJ · 24/07/2024 23:52

I do think it's low effort when someone makes effort to visit you from far.

All I can hear in my head now is We Three Kings of Orient Are, thanks!

As for a one hour journey, I travel almost that long to get to Sainsbury's and if I wanted to venture to IKEA I think I'd take a tent and a couple of sherpas!

JudgeJ · 24/07/2024 23:44

Cinocino · 24/07/2024 09:10

Do you ever just think most people are sane, reasonable people and then you see a thread like this where multiple people rage because a friend dared to serve them strawberries as a dessert and you just think what the fuck is wrong with the world?

I think the big question which, unless it's said on later pages, is Were the offending fruits Instagram-worthy? Was each one lovingly placed with care and attention to titillate the tastebuds of the throng of breathless followers?

ForGreyKoala · 24/07/2024 22:36

Canonlythinkofthisone · 24/07/2024 13:54

😂thanks for the giggle. Yes the company is literally special, it's the only reason I go to see friends in fact. If I wanted posh grub, I'd book a restaurant.

Clearly, you've spent so long in a kitchen rustling up something spectacular that you forgot to make any friends, is there a recipe for a personality you could try?

Best response on this thread. 😃

ForGreyKoala · 24/07/2024 22:22

tigger1001 · 24/07/2024 16:11

Jesus!!

Unwelcoming because you didn't get a dessert? Really???

The more I read on here the more I realise there is a reason I'm not a "people person" - some are really that self obsessed to the point they moan and judge on the perceieved quality of food they had cooked for them and the lack of dessert.

Are people really that self absorbed?

I rarely meet anyone as self absorbed in real life. But this is MN, spiritual home of the weird and wonderful. 😂

ForGreyKoala · 24/07/2024 22:18

Geiyotue · 24/07/2024 17:35

BBQs are different. I don't really like them because I don't want to eat sausages and burgers, but I know in advance the food will be basic so I make sure I eat before and after.

If I was invited for dinner then served half a BBQ (no mention of bread) then I'd be very disappointed and would need to cook when I got home.

I just really don't like sausages and don't think of them as a meal at all. Same with burgers.

I eat a huge variety of food, and none of it is what I call freezer food. If you like chicken nuggets etc then you do you, but it's not really the kind of thing to serve up when you've invited people for dinner!

I wouldn't do pasta either, but suggested it as a better alternative because there are lots of really good quick pasta recipes.

I do like strawberries though!

Edited

Well, don't you sound unsufferable! Who cares whether or not you like sausages, freezer food or whatever. Do you really think you are such an important personage that all on MN need to hear about your dietary choices?

I live in a country where barbeques are a big part of summer life - and the majority of people enjoy them - yes, even the sausages. However, most people here are not priggish bores, so you wouldn't get on with them at all. 😎

ForGreyKoala · 24/07/2024 22:11

BeachParty · 24/07/2024 11:03

What on earth's wrong with poached pears?!
Sounds lovely.
What dessert is acceptable for a 78 minute trip that involved a pesky lorry?
Also what dessert for a 40 minute trip? 30?
We need some kind of spreadsheet for travel timings and acceptable sweet treats.
This thread's mad 😂

I can't see what is wrong with poached pears either.

I must say it's the first time I've ever heard of anyone thinking they are some sort of hero for actually - gasp! - travelling to someone's house and thinking they need to be rewarded with an "appropriate" meal 😂

There really are some prize dicks on this thread.

NotDonna · 24/07/2024 22:04

DreamTheMoors · 24/07/2024 21:12

I stand by my comment.
We do not learn etiquette from ourselves, do we.

Im just tired of hearing ppl blame women for the failings of others. Always the mothers.

zzar45 · 24/07/2024 21:39

Bideshi · 24/07/2024 21:21

Nope. Not personally obsessed - way past all that shit. Anthropologically trained though and I do find nuances and how we interpret them fascinating.

I’m fairly confident your ‘anthropological training’ didn’t teach you that cheesecake isn’t classy and the super posh only serve fish pies when hosting.

Bideshi · 24/07/2024 21:21

twodowntwotogo · 24/07/2024 13:00

So. Obsessed.

Nope. Not personally obsessed - way past all that shit. Anthropologically trained though and I do find nuances and how we interpret them fascinating.