Travelled to friend's house for dinner, just strawberries for desert - AIBU to think it's low effort?

Please don’t blame other women for the OPs gross entitlement.

My honest opinion is that you are being completely unreasonable @Carefreebie .

But no good for OPs purposes as definitely still qualify as "low effort"

The last time I travelled over an hour to see my dear friend, not only did she not feed me a fancy 3 course meal, but she didn't even break out the "good biscuits". 😅

Totally agree with this. The better the ingredients, the less you have to do with them!

Also, who tallies up the amount of effort compared with effort of travel, reducing eating dinner with friends to a transactional exchange?

Your hosts might be tired, slightly unwell, stressed at work, wrangling dc in to bed. If you are a true friend, you give them the benefit of the doubt, and surely you don’t necessarily want them to go to loads of effort on your behalf anyway? It’s better that they are not stressed and have energy enough to enjoy a good conversation.

Some people find hosting more stressful than others and if hosts want to take it easy; why shouldn’t they? Not every shared meal needs to be complicated. I’d rather see my friends more often than eat a three course dinner with them infrequently.

My friend and I normally cook each other lasagne or similar and then vienetta ! Please don’t visit me 😀

look I’m going to give you some serious advice here. If you want a fancy meal out, book a restaurant and pay for what you eat. One hour on a train? You didn’t scale Everest to go for dinner catch a grip.

I have an extremely busy life with kids, work, parents, family and friends. I used to go ALL out for meals. I mean fine dining food. Did I enjoy the experience? No I was stressed, exhausted and spent a small fortune. I wasn’t present with the company we had round because I was run ragged trying to “impress”. I have massively loosened the reins and had a word with myself. My family don’t deserve to have a snappy Mum because I want to impress people. That’s a massive me problem. So yesterday we had friends round for a BBQ in the sun a couple of years ago it would have taken me hours prepping everything. This time it was burgers, sausages and bbq salmon. A bought tub of potato salad, coleslaw and some cut up tomatoes, lettuce and cheese. Job done. They got a free dinner and I was actually present with my friend and we had a great long chat. The days / time spent with friends is an investment of my time and I would be annoyed if what my friends were actually coming over for was fine cuisine and not my company and fun.

You have three distinct issues here.

1. you are treating the meal as transactional “I cooked X standard of meal so that’s what I want back. True friends are not transactional and don’t treat time together as such
2. you are equating how much you thinks she values you by the amount of money and time she spent cooking for you. Bollocks and again transactional
3. you are taking zero stock of what other pressures she had going on all week and that maybe she wanted to be relaxed and stressed prepping food
4. SEXIST much? You don’t mention HIS lack of effort, just hers.

also FYI two packets of strawberries and cream will have cost close to £10. You can buy a triffel for £5 in Tesco. I would argue it was a very thoughtful dessert when strawberries are actually in season, delicious and there was the weather for it. Personally I wouldn’t even eat dessert ever as I don’t like it and don’t see the point after a carbs filling meal so strawberries would be my perfect dessert

you need to catch a grip and seriously reevaluate your expectations of other people and if the only thing you are taking from time spent with friends is your scorn and judgement on what they serve for dinner then do THEM a favour and cut them loose. I would not want to be friends with someone as judgemental as you

Haven't you been to m&S or Waitrose recently....😂these "processed desserts" are often absolutely delicious and v good quality. Not far off restaurant standard. It's not the 1970s with cheap artic roll you know!

Still it seems the upf mob are out in force today!

Fresh English strawberries are in season at the moment and are gorgeous with cream.

I don't buy or eat the tasteless foreign imports so those would have been a real treat for me.

@InsomniacA

they can be, all that dancing in the bowl! 🤣🤣

(I too have an iPhone that thinks lovely should always be lively)

I don’t go to friends’ houses to be impressed by their culinary prowess. I like them for who they are as people, not for their kitchen skills or the complexity of their menus.

Luckily this thread shows I am in the majority but there are some proper weirdos on here acting like it’s an insult if someone hadn’t spent three hours slaving in the kitchen in return for being graced by their presence.

What do you think it is? Come Dine With Me?!

me too! op yabu and ungrateful you go for the company not a 5 course gourmet meal I think it sounds like a lovely meal anyway.

I travelled over an hour to bring paracetamol for my friend. Its about being with your friend. ?

Incidentally straberroes and cream is the best dessert for summer. I would be a little surprised at sausage as a main but also wouldn't give it a second thought

@SquidgeyB

im not sure if you're messing about or serious?? If you're serious did the tests come on the train??

Hmm I'd rather fresh good strawberries (a treat! Half the year they're imported and not so nice) than a fake processed dessert from the supermarket personally.

Sausages and Salad? Are people impressed by that. There's cooking and there's that. That's what I would do for my kids as a lazy throw anything together lunch on a basic normal day. Nothing special at all about that. And the strawberries and cream are cheap and even worse effort. I guess if you had a nice time then look at that. But tbh that's an embarrassing effort to host people with .

Well it would be if I didn't buy them ready made .. low effort all the way here!!

But surely you don’t think that just because your preference is a shop bought desert it’s ‘a bit crap’ if someone chooses something different! OP’s friend probably thought - like many on this thread - that ripe strawberries and cream was a much nicer option.

Its obviously fine to have your own preferences but to say your friends are a bit crap because they had a different idea about what constitutes a nice dessert when they’re cooking you a meal is an insane degree of entitlement!

The addition of meringue is a game changer though

Maybe we have different standards, but I would have loved a bowl of strawberries. At this time of year British strawberries can still be found and they are very tasty. Interestingly I was at a local Michelin starred restaurant at the weekend and they were (rightly) on the menu there.

YABU, I often serve berries, cream / ice cream and meringue for pudding. I really hope my friends don't forget away thinking I'm selfish and can't be bothered making an effort for them.

Feel like I've been letting them all down now never occurred to me until now they'd be going away and telling everyone "lists is rubbish.. couldn't even be bothered to make a crumble and whip up some custard.. lazy cow"

Presumably you went to see your friend no to judge her cookery skills

You ARE being unreasonable.

Right that's it. I'm giving up on having friends altogether. Thank you OP you have freed me.

@Orders76

🤣maybe there should be a set menu that gets 'fancier' for every half hour travelled!!