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AIBU?

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Original poster

Travelled to friend's house for dinner, just strawberries for desert - AIBU to think it's low effort?

660 replies

Carefreebie · 24/07/2024 00:44

On the weekend my partner and I travelled to a friend's house for dinner. The journey was over an hour by train.

The main course was sausages with nice sides (potato salad, tomato salad, another salad). That was nice.

But desert was just strawberries with some pouring cream.

We had a nice time, but AIBU to feel that the desert was very low effort and unexciting, and should have been more exciting than strawberries given the journey?

When my friend came to mine, I did a 3-course meal, feeling I should make a big effort because of her long journey.

OP posts:
KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 10:23

lifesrichpageant · 24/07/2024 05:31

I get quite anxious when "entertaining" and one of the reasons is because of attitudes like this. So many of us are not skilled in the kitchen or have limited budgets. As someone who serves strawberries and cream often as a dessert, this post makes me feel a bit sad.

@lifesrichpageant

Don't feel sad. As many of us have said, we go to friends for the company, not to critique the menu!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with what the friend served anyway!

just enjoy your friends company!

if they're judgemental twats you're better off without them!!

ForGreyKoala · 24/07/2024 10:22

Geiyotue · 24/07/2024 07:28

Oh come on. I actually like strawberries so no complaints there, but sausages? I rarely serve sausages at home and if I do it's a "oh fuck it's late and we've got no food in and I can't be bothered to cook" kind of thing from the emergency pack in the freezer, with beans and chips. Kids' food. Perfectly comforting for a can't-be-arsed meal if we are desperate but definitely not something on my regular meals list.

I would raise an eyebrow at a friend serving me that, and sausages don't go with salad (which is also not a meal)!

A quick pasta dish would be better.

Show quote history

Have you never been to a barbeque? Sausages and salads are pretty standard summer fare here. I wouldn't thank you for a quick pasta dish - but neither would I take to MN to complain if I was served one.

I would have been delighted with the meal served to OP - but then I'm not an entitled twit.

Crystalbabe · 24/07/2024 10:20

Everyone hating on the OP…

In reality I’m beyond jealous of the OP. Imagine having so little going on in your life that you worry about strawberries for pudding. I’d love to have so little in my brain!

RisingMist · 24/07/2024 10:19

Sounds fine to me. Not everyone is good at cooking.

fruitbrewhaha · 24/07/2024 10:16

What score will you give for the tripadvisor review?

LuckySantangelo35 · 24/07/2024 10:16

What kind of salad do you have with the sausages?

id like to try this as a low carb dinner but sausages with lettuce or usual salad type stuff sounds rank.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 10:16

BeachParty · 24/07/2024 02:32

It's presumably not Come Dine With Me. 🙄
You were fed, and sausages with lovely sides like potato salads etc sounds great to me. So does strawberries and cream
Next time if you go I hope they give you a piss weak cup of tea and.a custard cream.

Edited

@BeachParty

i wouldn't waste custard creams on them!! I'd be pushed to make them a cup of tea after this thread. A glass of tap water would a stretch.

DragonGypsyDoris · 24/07/2024 10:14

The Sahara is a low effort desert, in my experience. The Gobi is far superior and well worth a visit, particularly as it takes an hour by train to get there.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 24/07/2024 10:14

Hoolahoophop · 24/07/2024 10:04

Haha, we had friends round at the weekend, gave them burnt home made pizza and salad stuff and a a bowl of strawberries. Had a brilliant time and are all looking forward to doing it again. But then we like our friends and they like us so maybe thats the difference.

Maybe you think they liked it but in reality there is a thread about you somewhere on Mumsnet? 😂

BeaRF75 · 24/07/2024 10:14

How f*ing ungrateful can you get?!
That's a fantastic sumner dessert..... beautiful, fresh, British strawberries and cream. An absolute classic.
Goodness, if I were your friend and discovered such unpleasant views, I'd definitely not be issuing any more invitations!

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 24/07/2024 10:13

Your journey has nothign to do with it, if you travelled the extra 15 minutes should it be a tower of profiteroles?

booksunderthebed · 24/07/2024 10:11

Firstly, I think its extremely rude to complain about a hosts efforts. While I personally don't like strawberries (alas, since covid they tast horrible) I think it is an ok dessert. Not to my taste but lots of people love strawberries.

Personally I always offer a choice. 2 or 3 types of fruit and something unhealthy and sweet. Usually homemade because I like to bake but of course its fine to buy, Nothing fancy. Brownies or choc chip cookies or coffee traybake. I usually make a big batch and freeze. Maybe (especially if kids) some bought ice cream to go with that.

TypingoftheDead · 24/07/2024 10:11

I’d have been perfectly happy with the strawberries and cream. Used to be a treat when I was younger!
I think be grateful they made food at all. I’m sure you can find a MN thread about travelling to see a friend and not being offered anything, if you look hard enough.

diktat · 24/07/2024 10:07

I don't know what it is but I get excited for eating stuff at other people's houses that I am really not bothered about at home.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 10:06

itsalwaysthesame · 24/07/2024 01:23

Sausage & salad is a strange combination, I'd be happy with anything though as long as I didn't have to cook, strawberries & cream is the perfect summer dessert

@itsalwaysthesame

it to me it's not. I have vegetarian sausages & salad a lot as a low carbing vegetarian. Love my air fryer!!

Starlia · 24/07/2024 10:05

I still don’t understand how buying a processed, sugary dessert from the shop is ‘high effort’ compared with strawberries and cream.

Hoolahoophop · 24/07/2024 10:04

Haha, we had friends round at the weekend, gave them burnt home made pizza and salad stuff and a a bowl of strawberries. Had a brilliant time and are all looking forward to doing it again. But then we like our friends and they like us so maybe thats the difference.

rainbowsparkle28 · 24/07/2024 10:02

BellinghamsBall · 24/07/2024 00:48

Maybe they thought you were going for the company and evening out rather than haute cuisine

This. In short YABU 🙄🤨

Cinocino · 24/07/2024 10:01

Comedycook · 24/07/2024 09:52

Haven't you been to m&S or Waitrose recently....😂these "processed desserts" are often absolutely delicious and v good quality. Not far off restaurant standard. It's not the 1970s with cheap artic roll you know!

Still it seems the upf mob are out in force today!

Show quote history

But it’s not a restaurant, it’s a casual dinner at home with friends.

KatiesMumWoof · 24/07/2024 10:01

anothervoice · 24/07/2024 01:19

Were the sausages because it was a barbecue? Even then, that’s a bit basic (unless you’re all pretending to be camping or something).

@anothervoice

Give over. It's dinner with friends, it's hot (here anyway) & it's a perfect meal, doesn't need to involve a complicated & hours spent in the kitchen.

Its not about gourmet food it's about (or should be) seeing friends.

& there's absolutely no need for your snarky comment about camping, trying to make you sound witty, it didn't. It was just mean.

Katiesaidthat · 24/07/2024 10:00

I go to restaurants for the food and to other people´s houses for the company. We are having watermelon and melon for dessert on Saturday. We all decided it is the best option at 40 degrees. I don´t understand your post at all.

PadstowGirl · 24/07/2024 10:00

Oh Lord, I think you have been spending too much time on TripAdvisor.
Surely no one rates their friends.

holju · 24/07/2024 10:00

SparrowNest15 · 24/07/2024 09:55

My friend and I normally cook each other lasagne or similar and then vienetta ! Please don’t visit me 😀

Anyone who served me vienetta would have a loyal friend for life.

FeralSpoonie · 24/07/2024 09:59

Thunderpants88 · 24/07/2024 09:53

look I’m going to give you some serious advice here. If you want a fancy meal out, book a restaurant and pay for what you eat. One hour on a train? You didn’t scale Everest to go for dinner catch a grip.

I have an extremely busy life with kids, work, parents, family and friends. I used to go ALL out for meals. I mean fine dining food. Did I enjoy the experience? No I was stressed, exhausted and spent a small fortune. I wasn’t present with the company we had round because I was run ragged trying to “impress”. I have massively loosened the reins and had a word with myself. My family don’t deserve to have a snappy Mum because I want to impress people. That’s a massive me problem. So yesterday we had friends round for a BBQ in the sun a couple of years ago it would have taken me hours prepping everything. This time it was burgers, sausages and bbq salmon. A bought tub of potato salad, coleslaw and some cut up tomatoes, lettuce and cheese. Job done. They got a free dinner and I was actually present with my friend and we had a great long chat. The days / time spent with friends is an investment of my time and I would be annoyed if what my friends were actually coming over for was fine cuisine and not my company and fun.

You have three distinct issues here.

  1. you are treating the meal as transactional “I cooked X standard of meal so that’s what I want back. True friends are not transactional and don’t treat time together as such
  2. you are equating how much you thinks she values you by the amount of money and time she spent cooking for you. Bollocks and again transactional
  3. you are taking zero stock of what other pressures she had going on all week and that maybe she wanted to be relaxed and stressed prepping food
  4. SEXIST much? You don’t mention HIS lack of effort, just hers.

also FYI two packets of strawberries and cream will have cost close to £10. You can buy a triffel for £5 in Tesco. I would argue it was a very thoughtful dessert when strawberries are actually in season, delicious and there was the weather for it. Personally I wouldn’t even eat dessert ever as I don’t like it and don’t see the point after a carbs filling meal so strawberries would be my perfect dessert

you need to catch a grip and seriously reevaluate your expectations of other people and if the only thing you are taking from time spent with friends is your scorn and judgement on what they serve for dinner then do THEM a favour and cut them loose. I would not want to be friends with someone as judgemental as you

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zingally · 24/07/2024 09:59

Wow, are you normally this judgy of "friends"?

It sounds like a lovely meal. And strawberries are at peak loveliness this time of year!

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