Mums guilt ,pls no shaming

My child doesn't know this either and he is turning 5 in October and I'm a foundation stage teacher! 😂 He hasn't learned it yet in preschool so why would I teach him. He starts P1 in September (reception). He will learn all of this in school and if he is struggling to grasp new concepts then I will of course help & support him. As a teacher I always recommend lots of shared reading at home and learning through play. Talking to your child and sharing lots of experiences. Encouraging independence as well as learning how to share and take turns. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. Children are little sponges, they are soaking up knowledge all the time. They are so young, definitely no need to stress about learning at this stage.

Keep doing what you are doing and don’t worry! The most important thing at this age is reading with your child. You sound like a very caring mum who wants the best for her child. My dd couldn’t really read before she started school but she progressed quickly. I used to go in and help with reading. The difference across the class was huge in the autumn term but had really narrowed by summer.

I wouldn’t worry my 20 yo couldn’t sit still - his first target in reception was to sit on the carpet for 2 mins! He spent most of reception dressed up as either a policeman or fireman (from the dressing up box!) Could count to 20 and sing the alphabet - but was fascinated by animals and being outside so that what we did before he started school lots of art using leaves, making little houses in the garden for creatures, collecting sticks and rocks!! Lots of what colour is that flower? silly stuff like what noise do you think a worm makes??

Fast forward 16 years post reception he did brilliantly at alevel and is now at uni training to be a teacher (primary school). The point is most children will get where they need to be in their own way at their own time. If there is some issue then let the experts tell us if there is a barrier to learning or something is not quite right - enjoy the time you have now, and don’t stress 😀.

Honestly, I wish I hadn't worried as much as I did when mine were at that stage.

DS started YR unable to recognise letters, barely able to count - and he's September born, so almost 5 when he started.

DD started YR one year later - reading pretty fluently, and able to complete simple sums.
She'd just turned 4.

They're now 16 and 15.
DS has just done his GCSEs, very high predictions, and very high achieving.

DD is middling, and really needs to up her game!

How they are at 4yo bears absolutely no resemblance to how they turn out in the long term.
Please don't worry.

Honestly OP you have nothing to worry about.

Just the fact that you are worrying about this, shows what a great mum you are.

My best advice, which was given to me too, was to read to your child.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a kids book, magazine, car manual, book of works records etc. it’s whatever your kid enjoys and if they enjoy listening to you, they will find learning to read easier and more enjoyable.

Even when they can read, continue to keep reading to them too.

My DS is a few months older but he is going to do another year of nursery (Scotland so it is very much encouraged) and I would say he is a bit more interested in letters but only because he sees all us writing. However his speech is very delayed and he has no confidence in a crowd at all. My eldest refused to write a thing before school, even his own name and he is thriving now 4 years later.

They all develop at their own rates and the focus before school is much more on independent toileting, putting jackets on, listening to teachers, being able to choose lunch.

When our May born son started reception in September, the very first comment in his reading journal on day 1, was that he ‘struggled to read words out of context’. I was genuinely shocked as although he knew his letters, he definitely could not yet read. Fast forward a year or 2, and he was on the school’s ’gifted and talented’ track. (another nonsense)

When his younger brother started nursery at 3, he could read fluently. The same school refused to give him books with words in to read as he was ‘too young’ 🥴

OP, your DD sounds perfect and amazing, just like her momma!

You will come across people claiming their children are geniuses- reading Charles dickens novels and solving long multiplication at age 3 🙄 it’s generally made up nonsense!!

As others have said, it’s far more important for them to be ready to learn when they go to school than know it all. Being able to sit, listen, follow instructions, ask for help, dress and undress themselves, go to the toilet, open their own lunch, etc is FAR more important.

You will encounter some children who can’t do any of this but have been taught to write in capital letters so the teacher then has double the job of teaching all of this and undoing their way of writing. Usually the parents of children above! And a school nursery is no different to any other- they all have the same guidance!

If you are worried, this might be helpful to have a look at. It’s a document nursery and school use to assess children. Have a look at the pages for children aged 3-4 and if you are concerned there are ideas of how to help your DD. Please focus on the first 3 areas of learning. They are known as the prime areas. The following 4 specific areas will follow, but if they don’t have the prime areas embedded then children aren’t ready to learn the specific x

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/64e6002a20ae890014f26cbc/DfE_Development_Matters_Report_Sep2023.pdf

Shame you for what? She's only 4!

I work in reception, it's absolutely fine, she sounds perfectly normal!
I'm grateful if they can -
Go to the toilet independently

Recognise and put on their own coat

Follow simple instructions

Play somewhat co-operatively .

If you want to do anything over summer I'd suggest rhyming games and counting things while you're out. Anything else we're going to probably teach differently anyway.

Enjoy the summer with her, I'd give a lot to have mine that age and home with me again.

That's why she's going to reception class! She's only just turned 4 you really don't need to worry about it. Just keep on reading to her, and counting up to 10 but as a game.

Concentrate more on practical things over the summer like going to the toilet and washing hands independently and taking shoes and coat on and off without help.

I wouldn’t worry at all OP. To be ready for school it’s useful if your child can: eat and go to the toilet independently, find and put on their coat, get changed for PE. I’d not worry too much about letters and numbers because often parents are teaching their child differently, they have to undo some incorrect learning. Instill a love of reading if you can, it helps so much if a child can grasp reading.

My DD started Reception aged 4 and 4 weeks (not even 1 month) and couldn't even say her own name let alone spell it, she could count to 3 only.

She starts in Year 6 in September (just turned 10) and is working above expectations in Maths and can read and write at the level for her age.

Please don't worry, it has no affect on how they will progress through school! I couldn't believe how far DD came on in Reception.

Please do not worry at all. My son had just finished reception and was one of the oldest in the year (September born) so was nearly 5 when he started. He was completely disinterested in reading, writing etc before school but by the end of the year has come on so well. I've another son starting in sept (August born) and he is exactly the same and a younger in the year like yours so I have barely even given it a second thought. My plan is to let him run around and enjoy the summer of play!
Our school actually said they prefer parents not to try and teach them as they may use different methods which are hard for the children to change once they have learnt them! Let the teachers do their magic!

These things are not expected at her age it's most copying. Does she know some colours recognise animals able to put her Jacket on use a cup, this is the sort of things school will expect not whether she can read or write.

OP please don't worry. Prior to reception pre-phonics skills are more important than worrying about her recognising letters. Concentrate on her speech and language by talking about everything, singing nursery rhymes and reading stories to her. You can also play games with objects/images that rhyme and encourage her to name them and listen carefully to find which is the odd one out/doesnt rhyme- eg cat/ hat/mat/dog. She will then be ready to learn phonics with whatever programme the school use. Also don't panic if you get sent home her first reading book and it has no words to read. It is to strengthen pre-phonics skills by talking about what they can see. She will make great progress.

Make her ‘school ready’ by teaching skills such as :

able to toilet / wipe own bottom alone

able to put own shoes / plimsoles on and off

able to put own coat on and off

able to change for P.E. independently

understands the concept of taking turns from playing board games etc.

able to use a knife / fork / spoon and/ or open containers in lunch box

able to listen and follow simple instructions 1 part ‘sit on the carpet’ and 2 part such as ‘collect your milk then sit on your chair’

when an adult speaks - you listen

teach them to love stories / books.

**
learning to read and write will happen at school if a child is ready to learn and has basic life skills. School is designed to teach reading writing arithmetic etc… but they can’t do this if children don’t have basic social / personal skills.

Teachers are there to teach. Load of bullocks all this teaching tiny tots how to read and write before they even start school.

I didn't know teaching your child letters and numbers before starting school was a thing. I certainly never taught my kids and my mother never taught me. We all learnt fine when we got to school