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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL thinks I’m being unreasonable!

113 replies

HazelEagle · 23/07/2024 18:51

I take direct sun exposure quite literally for LO who’s 10 weeks old. She thinks that as it’s 5pm when we go for a walk in carrier and UV Level is 2 or less that I’m being silly for covering him up fully when out for a walk.

OP posts:
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Ohnooshedidnt · 24/07/2024 19:28

Mrsjayy · 24/07/2024 18:20

What's your basis?

Show quote history

For what?

robotsquirrel65 · 24/07/2024 19:27

I think maybe you're being a bit OTT. However, they're your DC and she should respect whatever rules you have.

crostini · 24/07/2024 19:23

5pm in the UK you are absolutely fine to take your baby for a walk in whatever they happen to be in!

Your MIL is probably worried that you're becoming too anxious. I would try and relax about this.

Sewannoying · 24/07/2024 19:22

To those saying 5pm is fine, I actually put sun cream on at 5pm yesterday as I was in direct sunlight and it was burning hot. And I have skin where I can afford to wait a short while.

SwordToFlamethrower · 24/07/2024 19:19

It's fine and babies need vitamin d from sunlight. They can't get it from breastmilk.

Let your baby soak up some sunshine. mil Is correct.

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 19:12

@Aquamarine1029 I can promise you I understand without bold or upper case letters, that sone new mothers are totally PFB and are shit, as you've recognised! Bring a new mother today, doesn't make you a good one.

As you've said a lot of advice from mothers which includes OPs is shit!

A point you've made perfectly!

Aquamarine1029 · 24/07/2024 19:06

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 19:02

@Aquamarine1029 I promise you I had more sense that discard advice from people....

Especially mothers that had been through it all

I can promise you that a LOT of advice given by some mothers is shit, but that is besides the point anyway. A point you clearly don't appreciate.

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 19:02

@Aquamarine1029 I promise you I had more sense that discard advice from people....

Especially mothers that had been through it all

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 19:00

@Aquamarine1029 you sound awful

Trap shut

Mind her own business

Blah blah

I thank the lord my sons have had better taste than marry "that" type of DIL!

Fucking hell it's ridiculous.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/07/2024 18:59

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 18:30

@Aquamarine1029 oh you know, just a normal convo with a normal DIL. However the batshit crazy DILs on here would quite obviously take offence!

Give over. It's not a normal conversation and the DIL isn't batshit. The mother-in-law can keep her trap shut and be gracious enough to allow her daughter-in-law the opportunity to parent her own way and make the decisions she feels are best. The mother-in-law had her time to make the rules with her own kids, and I promise you she wouldn't have liked it if her parenting choices were criticised.

DiamondGoldandSilver · 24/07/2024 18:53

I also think that a lot of people in the UK are really ignorant about the harm the sun can cause, especially on a baby’s skin. Carry on being cautious!

DiamondGoldandSilver · 24/07/2024 18:51

It’s your baby, not your MIL’s. The sun can be really bright in the UK at that time on a hot day and putting a hat or muslin over exposed skin seems completely sensible. I was the same with my babies on bright evenings. Is your baby taking vitamin d drops?

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 24/07/2024 18:47

12 noon on a hot day - cover up

5pm in most in most of the UK this year - not a problem.

You are being a bit PFB

Thepartnersdesk · 24/07/2024 18:43

@HazelEagle where do you put a muslin in a baby carrier? That sounds potentially dangerous.

Do you know never to cover a pram in this way?

A sun hat in a baby carrier on your front would cast enough shade surely?

MaryMary6589 · 24/07/2024 18:42

I'm with you. I've got a 10 week old (second baby) and I've always got his arms, legs and head covered when we go out at the moment, whatever time of day.

It makes me cringe to see little babies in carriers with their arms, legs or heads uncovered.

pingpongding · 24/07/2024 18:31

Back in the day it was a blob of Nivea if temperature went above 29 degrees otherwise get on with it

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 18:30

@Aquamarine1029 oh you know, just a normal convo with a normal DIL. However the batshit crazy DILs on here would quite obviously take offence!

Mrsjayy · 24/07/2024 18:23

I don't think anybody is saying let the .baby sunbathe in the pram but talking him out in the evening as long as he is covered up. He will be fine.

Mrsjayy · 24/07/2024 18:20

Ohnooshedidnt · 24/07/2024 17:45

Vitamin D deficiency is easily and preferentially prevented with supplements / formula so let's not be hysterical.

OP, I would keep a tiny baby covered up too, they're so sensitive. At worst you'll be being a bit overprotective. It's your baby, you do what you feel is right.

Everyone, including MIL, telling you it's fine has absolutely no basis for that except they 'think it's alright'. Skin cancer rates are rocketing, partly because everyone in decades past 'thought' a bit of sun wouldn't hurt anyone.

Edited

What's your basis?

Mrsjayy · 24/07/2024 18:18

HazelEagle · 23/07/2024 18:51

I take direct sun exposure quite literally for LO who’s 10 weeks old. She thinks that as it’s 5pm when we go for a walk in carrier and UV Level is 2 or less that I’m being silly for covering him up fully when out for a walk.

Sunlight is good for him cover him up but don't keep him in.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/07/2024 18:12

Bluebirdover · 24/07/2024 14:03

So MIL are not allowed an opinion ever?

Show quote history

Why would the mother-in-law feel the need to comment about a parenting decision when she wasn't asked for her opinion and when it's absolutely none of her business? She is definitely allowed to have an opinion, and she can keep it to herself.

Kitkat1523 · 24/07/2024 18:00

I’m with your MIL ….think you over the top with no exposure

madameparis · 24/07/2024 17:51

This reminds me of my Sister in Law. We all went for a nice family walk and she had baby niece in the pram. It was about 20 degrees outside, bit sunny, bit cloudy. She literally sprinted anytime the pram was in a bit of sunshine, then waited in a patch of shade for the rest of us to catch up….. then off she sprinted with the pram in the sunshine again until the next shady spot and we all caught up. The pram had a sun shade and an umbrella! Still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

MinniesCountdown · 24/07/2024 17:47

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Ohnooshedidnt · 24/07/2024 17:45

Vitamin D deficiency is easily and preferentially prevented with supplements / formula so let's not be hysterical.

OP, I would keep a tiny baby covered up too, they're so sensitive. At worst you'll be being a bit overprotective. It's your baby, you do what you feel is right.

Everyone, including MIL, telling you it's fine has absolutely no basis for that except they 'think it's alright'. Skin cancer rates are rocketing, partly because everyone in decades past 'thought' a bit of sun wouldn't hurt anyone.