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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend thinks I've been "sneaky " am I wrong?

115 replies

redredridingout · 23/07/2024 18:25

It's my best friends 30th birthday
She is having afternoon tea on Saturday for her close friends and then a party on the night.
She invited my friend (who comes on nights out with us ) to the party on the night.
She doesn't meet my friend alone only with me.
My friend lives 45 mins away from us and 1 hour from party venue and also doesn't know anybody but me and my best friend at this party.
So I said she could stay at my house to save taxi fare and I would drop her off next day.

I've decided I'm just going to go to the afternoon tea and skip the night party - so text friend saying I wasn't going now.
Friend is annoyed saying she can't go without me going as she knows nobody and it's too far for her to get home /has bought friend gift and bought an outfit.
Surely that's not my problem?
And should be up to me if I don't go
Aibu ?

OP posts:
LaughingCat · 23/07/2024 19:37

Another vote for a reverse here but if not, yeah, you’re being unreasonable. If someone pulled plans on me in the week of an event, I’d not be amused either. And your poor ‘best’ friend - sure, you’ll do the daytime thing but not her big party? Well, I’d know how my bezzie felt about me after that, that’s for sure.

foothandmouth · 23/07/2024 19:35

What wedding thread is everyone referencing

Mydietstartstomorrow · 23/07/2024 19:31

Hatty65 · 23/07/2024 18:52

You are a shit friend.

That's all that needs saying, to be honest. You've let down both the party girl and the friend who was going to stay. And you can't apparently see it. I'm going to assume you are 30 too, and I'm amazed that anyone can apparently get to this age without having basic manners.

This.

LoobyDoop2 · 23/07/2024 19:29

Guess we just wait for the thread where the OP moans that she’s been wendied.

RivkaTheBold · 23/07/2024 19:27

Did you mean flaky not sneaky?

jannier · 23/07/2024 19:26

Someone is trying to dump their friends

AGoingConcern · 23/07/2024 19:24

Unless there's a huge drip feed coming, you're being an absolute arse to both of your friends.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 23/07/2024 19:23

It's really rude to make plans with someone and then just cancel them. Its even worse to be so blasé about it.

Doingmybest12 · 23/07/2024 19:22

I wouldn't say sneaky, I would say selfish ,rude and mean.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/07/2024 19:21

So you invite your friend then renege for no good reason. That’s rude behaviour to both your friends.

5128gap · 23/07/2024 19:18

You agree to do something with other people, you do it. Only illness or other unforeseen emergency are exceptions to that. Its basic manners and consideration.

ToxicChristmas · 23/07/2024 19:16

Obviously a reverse, but yes, you'd be a twat to do that to your "friend".

Ivehearditbothways · 23/07/2024 19:13

It’s a dick move. An absolute dick move. You can do what you want of course, but when it negatively affects others then they can also react as they want and it is entirely appropriate for her to react with annoyance at your behaviour. Like I said, it’s a dick move.

Redhil · 23/07/2024 19:12

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/07/2024 18:33

This is a reverse of the wedding one, isn't it.

What was the wedding thread about?

Winter2020 · 23/07/2024 19:05

I can't understand how you describe the birthday person as your best friend but you have decided not to go to her party for seemingly no reason.

Yes you are unreasonable to offer your friend a night out and to stay at yours and then pull the plug because you have "decided not to go".

Chernobog · 23/07/2024 19:04

So?

Reverse or not op?

Coconutter24 · 23/07/2024 19:04

Are you wanting to be fresh for the cinema the next day? 😉

OhshutupRoger · 23/07/2024 19:02

You aren't going to your best friends 30th Birthday party? Why?

PaminaMozart · 23/07/2024 19:02

Irishmama100 · 23/07/2024 18:56

If it is your best friends 30th unless you are sick or dying you should be going to all of it as planned.

THIS.

You are letting BOTH your friends down !!

What urgent and unavoidable event could possibly have occurred for you to be able to justify - in your own mind - letting FRIENDS down in this way...

MultiplaLight · 23/07/2024 18:58

You're a shit friend.

Irishmama100 · 23/07/2024 18:56

If it is your best friends 30th unless you are sick or dying you should be going to all of it as planned.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 23/07/2024 18:55

BaronessBomburst · 23/07/2024 18:28

Is this a different take on the wedding one from two days ago? Evening do/ wedding breakfast.

Definitely!

Hatty65 · 23/07/2024 18:52

You are a shit friend.

That's all that needs saying, to be honest. You've let down both the party girl and the friend who was going to stay. And you can't apparently see it. I'm going to assume you are 30 too, and I'm amazed that anyone can apparently get to this age without having basic manners.

Beautiful3 · 23/07/2024 18:51

You've let her down! That wasn't nice.

easylikeasundaymorn · 23/07/2024 18:44

yabu if you've acted as described, but equally U if you're actually the friend and you've posted a reverse for some weird reason.

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