New guy messaged my friend

This. I regularly used to get men messaging me on Twitter about how beautiful I was and how they loved my smile. My profile picture was a dinosaur...

Just make absolute sure that this is a real guy, OP, and any HINT of him asking you for money, especially if you've never met, then you just nope out of there as fast as you can.

I was bit split on this one when I first read it.
However, the fact that you're put off meeting him, suggests the friend absolutely did the right thing in letting you know.

Playing devil's advocate, imagine you met, got along, started a relationship. Fast forward a few months/years, and it came out then. You would absolutely be furious with your friend for not telling you, I'm sure.

Perspective; it was a one-way message, presumably when he was single. Maybe it's worth just putting to the back of your mind, given that you seem to quite like him.

urgh- yuck. He's obviously messaged loads of women based solely on their appearance hoping that one will respond.

I dont know how you can find him attractive after this - its gross behaviour.

Your friend was absolutely right to tell you. What an absolute turn off

Creepy as fuck

Why would anyone go out with someone who randomly messages women he doesn't know (who aren't signed up to a dating site)

Don’t let it put you off completely but just it’s useful to know. Take your time to get to know him, don’t rush into anything, you may find you get on. It’s only as a bloke who chats up everyone in a nightclub. Ok it’s a bit indiscriminate, but better someone who sets out and makes an effort than someone who stays single and doesn’t talk to anyone.

Yeah, I dont either. If she had said nothing and the two of you started dating and he told you later on then you'd say she was out of order for not mentioning it. The friend cant win here.

He sounds like a desperate creep to me, randomly messaging women he finds hot. I think you're one in a long line of women he's message on SM I'm afraid OP, the only difference is- you engaged in conversation with him.

I'm stuck on "and today she decides to tell me he messaged her a year ago "

I hope you said "Ok" /side eyes

My close friend's now long-term partner sent me the most cringeworthy pick-up line on tinder about a year before they got together. I never replied. We still all laugh about it now. I don't think this would bother me at all--unfortunately it's just a reality of modern dating!

This is what I was thinking too. He just messages random women telling them how attractive they are? Ew. Sleaze.

I'd definitely tell a friend this, to warn her the guy messages lots of randoms on SM, which I would find grim, but if you don't mind then that's your perogative

I too would be put off my a man messaging random women and telling them they are attractive.
It seems quite desperate.

However, it is a new age and doing this sort of thing is actually not that big of a deal.

Its no different to a man meeting a woman in a bar and telling her she is attractive/offering to buy her a drink and then a year later, doing it to another woman which happened to be the first woman’s friend.

I would feel uncomfortable that he fancied my friend first but I think you should try not to take it personally and meet up with him anyway to see how you feel.

Your friend was right to tell you, she sounds like a good friend.

Or some sort of scammer/con man.

OP, did you reply and a message from a random man telling you you’re stunning? Because that’s quite sad. Why would you reply to that?

Just to be clear; you’re not special. He’ll send those messages to multiple women every day hoping someone will bite. And it’s only really the very lonely women who reply, and those are the sort of women who will put up with that behaviour.

Do better. Don’t be one of those women. Some random man from social media who sends unsolicited messages is not a man you want to get involved with. He’s got sleaze written all over him, he’ll be messaging loads of women… just walk away. Have some self respect. Maybe try therapy?

He probably only wants a shag

Heck, all that trouble for a date...forget it.

It’s a bit weird todo that tbh (to randomly tell somebody over Facebook they are beautiful). Be careful.

Ickkkkkkkkk ickkkkkk ickkkkkk

I wouldn't meet him

I don’t understand the comments of why did she tell you. If she hadn’t the same posters would have been saying why didn’t she tell you. Always find a woman to attack right?

I honestly don’t see the issue. Unless you know he was married at the time he messaged your friend. If he was single it’s a complete non event.

I don’t get the angst. He messaged her, she didn’t reply. He didn’t hassle her or stalk her. It really is no different to talking to someone in a club - the online pool is just bigger. My friend ended up married to someone I snogged one night at a disco. But if it has given you the ick just bin him off.

Don't feel like a nob and don't hold it against your friend, she was probably just getting it out there so it doesn't cause any issues later.
Ignore the criticism about his approach to meeting women. Dating sites are not for everyone and meeting people out and about socially is not the way it used to be.
If you like him and want to meet him just make sure its in a place you're comfortable and safe. You can only judge him properly then.
In other words, just chill and if it works great!

If you live in the same area, she's attractive, he was looking for a partner, why wouldn't he message her a year ago? It's a slightly awks coincidence but nothing more than something to have a laugh about. He undoubtedly messaged plenty of women when he was single.
Honestly I'd not be bothered. Other than maybe asking why your mate didn't think she wanted to reply?
Surely it's good that your mate doesn't fancy your potential new bf?

I don’t think she was wrong to tell you. I would want to know if someone I’m considering dating is the type of guy who messages random women on social media. Just because it was a year ago it’s doubtful she’s the only one he’s ever messaged. Is that how you and him got chatting?

What was his first message to you?

If it was anything about you being stunning, congratulations you've just found out this is how he fishes. There's probably hundreds of women's inboxes sitting with the exact same message in it. You just happened to bite.

I think she is right. It was a year ago. If she hasn't told you and you found you'd be questioning why? It's not that hard.