Been told my child is very weird and childish

I think most of us navigate a path between people that are our people and who get our weird and those where we are to a degree playing a part . Surely that is just life. I’m assuming the OPs child does have friends from the reference to close friends in her post . She may just need to navigate how to deal with those people who aren’t her people and aren’t going to invite her or include her . Some of that is building resilience for seniors

Wow that mum sounds like a passive aggressive bitch. I would be livid if someone like her had criticised my kids.

It's not a bad thing to be a bit different & summer birthdays do often cause apparent immaturity. The school should be the ones to flag any concerns not some busybody in the playground.

I just wanted to say that you could be describing my daughter at that age. We also got the “summer birthday” and “she’s got lots of friends” from school and even a paediatrician said she didn’t have Aspergers.
secondary school was tough and she was diagnosed with Aspergers at 14.
I don’t want to worry you, but don’t necessarily take what professionals say as fact.
Now 29, my daughter really struggles with her mental health due to her time at school - bullying, not fitting in and not knowing why. She also struggled academically and only passed her Art GCSE, though she’d been assessed as having high average intelligence at age 6.
Keep an open mind and maybe do some reading about improving social skills.

I'm in my 30s and find that funny tbh.

She's being herself, and by doing so will find kids with similar senses of humours etc instead of holding "weirdness" in and trying to fit in. This will just find her friends she has to put a front on for which is, in my opinion, pointless and exhausting.

It was wrong of the lady to call your daughter silly and weird. However, I'd say that kind of behaviour in a ten year old is very strange and worrying. A NT 10 yo should probably simply be told that that's inappropriate and rude and she needs to stop it- but unless you've encouraged this in the past it's very odd that she would not have automatically picked up on the fact that this is unacceptable and alienating her from her peers?

Where is she academically/developmentally- is she at expected levels for English and Maths?

www.girlguiding.org.uk/information-for-parents/register-a-child/

Yes we are volunteers. I’d try again. Some units closed in covid but it is thriving in lots of areas.
We honestly really try our best for all the girls and have some that are quirky or struggling socially and they really benefit.

It’s possible to control your impulses and still end up with no friends, and vice versa.
The OP has talked to her DD about it but she is still saying it, which is relatively normal for kids to do anyway.
Hell, I know plenty of adults who were spoken to about inconsiderate or off putting behaviour who kept doing it.
At least when your brain isn’t fully developed yet, and there’s possible neurodivergence, it’s more understandable even if it’s not exactly ideal.

What does this mean?

It’s often noticeable in a group setting. It’s hard to describe as lots can be brushed off as oh all kids do that but when it’s always that child it perhaps points to something more going on.
Lots of our 10/11 yr old guides are definitely not the cool kids (no phones) so it’s not that all the others are too grown up.
It’s things like not knowing how to make conversation with peers, inappropriate topics of conversation often repeated or discussed at length, inability to read the room eg giggling during a talk from police officer when everyone else listening, interrupting adults speaking, the one always being silly, doing things that you would expect from a toddler not a 10 year old eg putting things in mouth, climbing on furniture, losing belongings.

If I was 9 and had issues with say Sarah, and I got an invite to her party. Id say "yeah I don't want to go to that"

I think you need to give some more examples. My 9 year old still finds poo funny and I'm not worried.

Parents who allow their child to purposefully not invite kids they find "weird" are awful, like if your kid wants to invite their 5 closest friend to a party fine. But if you invite the whole class bar 1 that's shameful. Likelihood is if that child isn't liked by your child they probably don't like your child either and won't go but to not invite 🤨 especially in primary school when they're so little

Yeah because kids who are included and go to parties don't have anxiety about it? 🤔

It's a fine balance though, acceptance vs social rules, making them aware of what's appropriate. There's a lovely social coach in my area that has helped my dd whilst still being affirming.

I do think kids vary a lot in maturity even at age 13 or any age really there is a big range.

Yeah, she's probably loving the social exclusion, not being invited to parties, etc

This. If the OP's child is unhappy and feels left out, then this situation needs to be addressed rather than just telling her to "be herself".

As parents we should definitely be our children's cheerleaders but we also need to be their gentle but honest critics if they're getting things a bit wrong imo.

She could be behind in social interaction skills, doesn't know how to initiate conversation with peers. She may have said it once, got a laugh from someone and thought it's an icebreaker. Speak to the SENCO ask if they can do some role play - they normally have groups where they get the kids to practice areas of skills used to build friendships. She may have an underlying condition - but this would be my first starting point. Keep reinforcing that it's not an appropriate opener or topic.

I think she was being kind and also courageous, and it seems your daughter has been an outsider in the class/ year group for a while now.

Don't let the grass grow under you as you seek to address the concerns.

Also don't rule out neurodiversity just because of one observation. Maybe push for a proper assessment through the school.

Have your tried getting her into cubs? It is for boys and girls now. She might enjoy it more. DS loved it. There were lots of outdoor activities, lots of running around. DD was quite bored at Brownies as it was nearly always indoors and involved some sort of very basic crafting activity.

The OP has updated to say her daughter is already being excluded and isn't being invited to birthday parties, and that the other mother didn't speak unkindly.

To those saying she's just being silly and fun, well, her behaviour is already having upsetting consequences. It shouldn't be ignored.

Your child is childish - well heavens above!

I had an August birthday child and she too was more childish (whatever that actually means) than her peers.

Who was this Mum who said this to you? I would steer clear of her.

Children get one stab at childhood - let her enjoy it while she may!

I’d maybe try and work on her self esteem, I found navigating friendships hard as a child and often (and still do) mask with humour and trying to be funny to make friends. I’ve recently realised that I may be neurodiverse so I wouldn’t rule that out as other posters have said but I also suffered from a major lack of self esteem and I think the trying to be weird and funny for attention was a result of that for me.

OP I'm not sure if you'll edge towards the comments agreeing it's weird or more the 'she's a child it's fine' but please don't traumatise your daughter with therapy or 'social interaction lessons' or anything of the sort just because she doesn't act like the 'cool' kids 😔

She is still a child and making her change who she is or pretend to be someone else to fit in with peers that are forced to grow up too quickly due to societal norms will only lead to other issues later in life, and it certainly won't make her happy.

I was a weird kid and I didn't have many friends, but after being forced to 'grow up' 'act my age', etc I ended up having boyfriends way too young, developed a bad attitude because I thought it made me cool - basically became even more sad and lonely because no one really liked me for me.

As long as your daughter is happy right now leave her be.