Been told my child is very weird and childish

Is she for secondary is September? Yeah I'd be a bit worried, it's very immature and something my kids would have done at the eldest 7 (mine do have adhd and asd)

Try some social stories about how to initiate conversions.

I'd also be having discussion that high school we have to act a bit more mature. Going up to someone and saying I like poop is not acceptable and she will be told off in school for being rude. (Nevermind being bullied)

I'd also be putting a consequence on place if she is saying it to adults - it's cheeky and rude at her age

🙄

I’ve got a weird kid. His hobbies are warhammer and dungeons and dragons, he plays in a brass band, he has a quirky sense of humour. He is definitely what you’d call a weird kid.

But there are lots of barriers of weird and need and geek and they all find their tribe, he has.

What the OP’s child is doing is not the same as weird fun quirky kid. It’s just peculiar and will isolate her. That’s all there is to it. Mum needs to put a stop to that behaviour and have a chat about expected behaviours and reactions of peers.

If you are only ever doing kids activities and not having time alone with her doing some things a bit more grown up, she is going to act age related to the life she's living. Take her out on her own sometimes away from the younger ones, have a girlie day, shopping and afternoon tea, these type of things that make her feel a bit more grown up ready for secondary school. I always find that an older sibling seems much younger, and a younger sibling seems much older as they have each other to learn from.

I’m 60-odd and I’m still weird and childish

Kids say weird shit all the time I was a lunchtime supervisor for years and that wouldn't phase me

Did you mean to be such a bitch? I think would be the proper response to the mum's comment.

Yes, I get that especially reading OP's further comments re what she rad been saying.. this will likely need some intervention and guidance. And like she needs to learn some good manners/boundaries/social skills.

But when it comes to kids (particularly girls) in early secondary, some can be so mean and try to quash other kids' exuberance and individuality. To this I say pish - be loud, weird and silly. My daughter embraces this side of herself (I have had to fight my inner patriarchal urge to get her to quash and quiet it..) and she has lots of friends. Always well behaved in class etc.?

Thinking about it my now 11 year old went through a stage of the same at 10, we had to be pretty firm that it wasn't funny and that people didn't think it was funny. He does have asd though so can be a bit immature and doesn't always think before he says something

I know the school do not think she is ND. But i wonder if some of the social stories and role playing that are used to teach ND children social skills might help her?
I would listen to the school that they have no real worries about her. They see a lot of children and know what is age appropriate best. But I would also look at helping her develop social skills as will make her life much easier.

@tennesseewhiskey1 Embrace her silliness, her quirkiness. It’s what’s special about that girl

You think that going up to people, be it friends or not, and talking about poo and how much you like it, makes a person special? It’s certainly special in a way, but not a way that’s going to be conducive about getting through life. Honestly, how would you like people coming up to you and going on about poo and how much you like it? The other kids obviously aren’t appreciative, and most people can understand this.

OP, I don’t think you are doing your child any favours to advise limiting this nonsense to friends as opposed to every random at school. Friends are not going to put up with this either and she’ll be left with none. Best tell her just to cut it out now pronto, she may think it’s funny, no one else does and it stops right now or there will be consequences.

The mum is a rude cow.Youd get slapped for that by some.

My DSS was very much like this at 10. He'd say very similar things, about poo and wee and farts etc. He loves to shock people. It's a form of attention seeking - bad attention is still attention. For my DSS it was because he was feeling like his two older siblings got more attention than him.

Do you give her one on one attention often?

Honestly, neither you or your DD need to change anything.

This poor excuse for a human being, let alone a Mother, has shown herself, and probably her child, for what they are. She got something out of that conversation. She probably made herself feel better by putting your child down. Can you even imagine being that big of an arsehole?

In life, you meet many twats. Best not to feed them.

Go hug your wonderful little individual daughter and tell her to be unashamedly herself and screw anyone's opinion on it.

Do yourself a favour and swerve that bitch going forward. Please don't encourage your child to change to fit in with them. She'll find her own tribe.

Don’t know where people are getting that the other girls are all tik toking /make up wearing mean girls. It’s not nice to hear but actually I would be grateful for the heads up. Being rejected by your peers going into tween years is not a happy place to be - now you can help her socially.

😬 not a great idea for a school child who wants friends

I would say and think 'great - my ability to be silly and weird are two of my best qualities.' 😁 and help her to see that too.

Mmm, I think going up to random kids and saying 'I like poop' is a bit of a problem, actually.

You haven't described the other mother's tone, but it could be she's concerned about your daughter.

It sounds like attention-seeking behaviour – looking for a reaction. Unfortunately, other kids won't respond kindly to it. Your daughter could find herself on the outside of friendship groups, if she carries on with it. Sounds like you may need to guide your daughter on appropriate social behaviour. Some kind of social thing outside school could be a good idea, to help build confidence and learn to seek the right kind of attention – that is, positive reactions from other kids, for being friendly and judging social situations correctly.

Sorry but if she’s still doing this at secondary she will be repeatedly told she is weird and that’ll be the nicest thing they say.

Precisely this. I was weird to some in school and others were weird to me.

This!
Far too many girls are trying to be grown up before their time. Lots are still a bit babyish in the later years of primary school and quickly grow up in the first year of year 7. But ‘weird’ is not a nice word to use. Acting like a 10 year old and not a 15 year old is fine, unless as PP says, she is acting like a kid under 10.

OP, I have lots of experience with kids.

This instantly brought to mind the kids I’ve known who were later diagnosed with asd.

Honestly? It is a bit weird, I wouldn't even say immature just weird, it's not school appropriate in reception let alone her age. Are you sure there's not more going on behind the scenes, other children really struggling to deal with your dc? There could be actual reasons for her behaviour. August birthday isn't a reason by year 5/6 (I'm an august birthday). I would suggest working over the summer holidays on when things are appropriate, when we should keep thoughts to ourselves, learning to read the situation in the room (not only nd kids can struggle with this) and so on. It's certainly not something to get really stressed about but I would take it as a wake up call that perhaps things aren't typical currently

It wasn’t great that the other mum spoke about her like that but I think it’s great that you have open and honest chats with your dd about what to say to friends. Keep the conversation going, without making her feel bad.
She won’t always be saying this, but she may always be a little quirky. She’ll find her own gang of slightly unusual people as she grows up. As a teacher, I like the quirky ones as long as they’re kind.

Someone called your kid weird and your first reaction is to ask how you can change your daughter and not to tell the woman to piss off.
Agree going up to people and asking about poop warrants a conversation and you need to explain that somethings are not polite to say, but unless there are lots of other things going on then just accept your daughter and her personality.