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Original poster

Neighbour issue. What to do next?

154 replies

redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry · 23/07/2024 10:00

Hi ladies. We live in a quiet, short road. Around 30 houses, all which open straight onto the pavement. 7 months ago our neighbour was having his house painted. Ooh says I......let's ask them to do ours too. Price was agreed and off they went.
A couple of days later they were good to start. We chose the paint and off they set. Myself and my husband were out at work and returned to a lovely great paint job.
Around 4 weeks following this a neighbour from down the road knocked to say the painters had got paint sprinkles on his car (it was parked outside our house when the painting was done). The painters had clearly not covered the close cars with a cloth. We didn't have direct contact details for the painters but we were sure our NDN would as they had initially engaged them.
We asked NDN to get in touch with them or pass us their contact details.
NDN did none of these things despite us asking several times. Neighbour with the car got his car polished, removing the paint. He said it cost £150 and is looking for reimbursement of this from either the painters or ourselves.
On Sunday 'down the road' neighbour confronted DH, effing and jeffing and threatening him. Like zero to 100. Prior to this DH was going to offer to pay half as we can't get hold of the painters and NDN are definitely not going to help with contact. Anyway, down the road neighbour storms off threatening DH and allsorts. DH didn't react to his aggressive approach (retired police).
Planned to leave it a few days for him to calm down and pop over to resolve.
Just now I went to take the bins out and down the road neighbour is walking to our house with a glare. I ask him is he is OK? 'Not really' he growls. 'Just wait till I see your husband' and off he goes giving me the evils.
Whilst I don't feel threatened by the dick swinging, I am feeling huge resistance to helping him meet the cost of the car polish now. But equally I don't need this drama so close to my home.
Any suggestions for the next step?
Should we be the bigger person and pop the cash through his letter box or let the angry man stew in his juices?
Sorry no diagram Grin

OP posts:
SBHon · 23/07/2024 10:35

Wishimaywishimight · 23/07/2024 10:27

How can you not see that he is sick of talking to you about this and getting nowhere. Even the most patient of neighbours would be fed up of you by now. Just pay the man, regardless of whether or not this is entirely your responsibility, just sort it and get it over with.

This. I’m not sure if even paying him the £150 is going to solve the problem now. He’s always going to be bitter that he had to chase you for so long.

magicmushrooms · 23/07/2024 10:34

after 4 conversations your neighbour with the splattered car is understandable losing patience at being fobbed off. It is clear you have no intention of paying him and the whole situation is in a death spiral.

Pay your neighbour for the damage. Your NDN is probably mates with the painters and does not want the trouble. You were lax in not getting details of the painters for your house.

CelesteCunningham · 23/07/2024 10:33

LilBowWow · 23/07/2024 10:08

I’d have given the bloke with the car £150 immediately and chased the painters/neighbours with their details for reimbursement. £150 is a paltry amount to fall out with a neighbour over, particularly when it was the people you hired that caused the issue. I’d go over now with the cash and probably a bottle of something to apologise for the delay in getting this sorted.

Exactly this. Neighbour probably thought you were trying to get out of paying.

Original poster
redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry · 23/07/2024 10:33

MissUltraViolet · 23/07/2024 10:27

Also not sure why you felt the need to ask him if he was OK knowing full well he wasn't because you and/or your painter owe him money that you seem to be dragging out instead of just saying sorry and reimbursing him.

The fact that you didn't bother to get the painters contact info or business details is your problem, not his.

I asked him if he was OK as he was glaring at me.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 23/07/2024 10:32

Whilst I under his frustrations, the petty bitch in me is reluctant to do anything positive for people who show me aggression.

But it's not doing something positive. It's making restitution. You already did the negative thing and compounded it by dragging this out. You're the one making this bad situation worse. He just parked his car. Don't add petty bitch to irresponsible and ineffective.

LilBowWow · 23/07/2024 10:32

Being civilised didn’t get him his money back did it? You’ve fobbed him off several times after making him chase for responses. You owe him £150 and an apology.

ButterCrackers · 23/07/2024 10:30

Surely the neighbour can contact the painters? If not then they can send a registered letter to them claiming the cost of the damage. They could ask their car insurance company for help as well.

pinkdelight · 23/07/2024 10:29

I’d have given the bloke with the car £150 immediately and chased the painters/neighbours with their details for reimbursement.

Absolutely this! I can't believe you're surprised he's raging. He parked his car and it got paint on it from your house painters. You can't point at the vanished painters and make this not your problem. You're lucky it's only £150. Pay the man!

ChilliSquib · 23/07/2024 10:29

the petty bitch in me is reluctant to do anything positive for people who show me aggression

That's up to you.

MissUltraViolet · 23/07/2024 10:27

Also not sure why you felt the need to ask him if he was OK knowing full well he wasn't because you and/or your painter owe him money that you seem to be dragging out instead of just saying sorry and reimbursing him.

The fact that you didn't bother to get the painters contact info or business details is your problem, not his.

Sherry59 · 23/07/2024 10:27

redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry · 23/07/2024 10:17

Thanks for the responses everyone.
The neighbour with the car said it was parked outside our house on the day the majority of the painting was done.
We have felt all along that it is the responsibility of the tradesmen to not splatter paint onto anywhere apart from the house. Equally it is a silly amount to fall out with a neighbour over. And we weren't going to do that.
Honestly, that conversation on Sunday could have ended with a much more positive outcome if neighbour with the car hadn't gone so nuts.
All previous conversations about it (probably 4) had been very civilised.

I really don’t understand why you don’t have contact details for your tradesman, but there is plenty good advice on other replies regarding that.
I think your neighbour has been quite restrained if he has had 4 exchanges with you on this matter with no resolution, no wonder he is now getting irate! Pay the man, especially as you agree it’s a paltry sum to cause all this bad feeling, although I do feel having left it so long to resolve that there will always be a rift between this neighbour and yourselves.

Wishimaywishimight · 23/07/2024 10:27

How can you not see that he is sick of talking to you about this and getting nowhere. Even the most patient of neighbours would be fed up of you by now. Just pay the man, regardless of whether or not this is entirely your responsibility, just sort it and get it over with.

Original poster
redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry · 23/07/2024 10:27

MissUltraViolet · 23/07/2024 10:23

How long between him informing you that the painters had damaged his car and his outburst at your DH?

He could have gone about it a better way but maybe he was frustrated and got to a point where he assumed nicey nicey wasn't working and you were not going to take it seriously or help?

I think that is spot on. He's pissed off that we have tried to get the painters to fix this and not immediately paid for his car to be polished. Whilst I under his frustrations, the petty bitch in me is reluctant to do anything positive for people who show me aggression.
I appreciate all the reasoned responses.

OP posts:
IncognitoUsername · 23/07/2024 10:26

ChilliSquib · 23/07/2024 10:21

If I was getting my house painted I'd have told the neighbours beforehand and I would have knocked on doors on the day until I found out whose car was parked outside my house in case anything happened to the car. Especially on a small street.

Exactly. When we were having work done that involved a crane being in the road for 20 mins we put a note through all ten houses so no one was inconvenienced and everyone could move their cars if they chose to.

Turophilic · 23/07/2024 10:24

LilBowWow · 23/07/2024 10:22

4 conversations about this is 3 too many.

Exactly. That’s why he was furious.

LittleBrenda · 23/07/2024 10:24

All previous conversations about it (probably 4) had been very civilised.

They didn't get him anywhere though so now he is frustrated.

Abracadabra12345 · 23/07/2024 10:24

LilBowWow · 23/07/2024 10:22

4 conversations about this is 3 too many.

Agreed. He's angry because he's had to shell out money for something he didn't cause and no one is paying up.

MissUltraViolet · 23/07/2024 10:23

How long between him informing you that the painters had damaged his car and his outburst at your DH?

He could have gone about it a better way but maybe he was frustrated and got to a point where he assumed nicey nicey wasn't working and you were not going to take it seriously or help?

LilBowWow · 23/07/2024 10:22

4 conversations about this is 3 too many.

ChilliSquib · 23/07/2024 10:21

If I was getting my house painted I'd have told the neighbours beforehand and I would have knocked on doors on the day until I found out whose car was parked outside my house in case anything happened to the car. Especially on a small street.

Whammyammy · 23/07/2024 10:19

This has nothing to do with the angry neighbour, although doesn't excuse his behaviour.
You hired the painters, they damaged the car. Either you or painters pay.

Original poster
redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry · 23/07/2024 10:17

Thanks for the responses everyone.
The neighbour with the car said it was parked outside our house on the day the majority of the painting was done.
We have felt all along that it is the responsibility of the tradesmen to not splatter paint onto anywhere apart from the house. Equally it is a silly amount to fall out with a neighbour over. And we weren't going to do that.
Honestly, that conversation on Sunday could have ended with a much more positive outcome if neighbour with the car hadn't gone so nuts.
All previous conversations about it (probably 4) had been very civilised.

OP posts:
twomanyfrogsinabox · 23/07/2024 10:14

Just pay the man, he's up in arms because you haven't paid him, and apparently are showing no signs of doing so. You indirectly caused damage to his car and he's entitled to compensation

I am also amazed you let totally unknown people paint your house, what were you going to do if it was a terrible job, or if it all peels off in six months time?

LilBowWow · 23/07/2024 10:08

I’d have given the bloke with the car £150 immediately and chased the painters/neighbours with their details for reimbursement. £150 is a paltry amount to fall out with a neighbour over, particularly when it was the people you hired that caused the issue. I’d go over now with the cash and probably a bottle of something to apologise for the delay in getting this sorted.

Seeline · 23/07/2024 10:07

How can you not have details for the people who painted your house?!
You must have paid them - no invoice, receipt etc?

Did you actually see the paint on the car?
How do you know it's your paint and not that of the other recently painted house?
Why did it take 2 weeks for the car owner to speak to you in the first place?

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