I went through DH’s phone the other day and found some messages with another woman where they had communicated for about 5 days straight.
I confronted him about it and firstly he got annoyed that I went through his phone again and that is why he never leaves it lying around because he says without fail if I see it I will try and find something to get upset about.
There wasn’t much to the messages. One day DH sent her a ‘wakey wakey’ message in the morning. Another day the lady expressed she had her divorce finalisation and DH said they should celebrate with a vegan wrap. He used some smiley faces but they were not usually reciprocated.
When I confronted DH, he said that they connected late last year when they were in the same company that was going through a tough time and a number of coworkers had left and they decided to brainstorm some side hustles as a backup plan. I remember him floating some of these ideas to me last year. DH has since left the company but their office is close by so they occasionally meet up (monthly). He said the vegan wrap is a takeaway place they go for lunch sometimes. He said he bumped into one of our mutual friends last time he was there. He said he mentioned celebrating the divorce closure with a wrap to try and lighten her mood, though I found it insensitive.
DH is the type who doesn’t have many guy friends and generally finds it easier to get close to females. He is quite a gentle person.
I am upset because I found these messages with a woman who I’ve never met or heard about. DH said he has previously casually invited the woman to our area so we can all meet since she has a child of the same age as ours, but it has never happened as they are quite far away. He also said he hasn’t really discussed her with me because he didn’t find it particularly significant.
I feel like he has a whole secret life when he goes to work that I know nothing about.
AIBU?