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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH should have told me he sold this car

57 replies

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 14:46

One of our daughters needed a newer car so we've upgraded her car, and wanted to sell her old car privately to maximise income from it.

It's taken longer than expected.

I went away for a couple of days over the weekend and came back late last night.

As I left the house this morning I noticed it wasn't on the adjoining road where it's been for about 4 weeks. I'd expressed concern about it looking unused on the road (I shifted it around a few times over the month to make it look as though it was being used regularly) abd had suggested a crook lock for it, but hadn't got round to that.

I called DH worried that it had been stolen, but he didn't reply.

I sent him a WhatsApp and about 90 minutes later he replied that he'd sold it over the weekend, forgot to mention it. He did reply as soon as he saw the WhatsApp, had been in meetings all morning. He was apologetic for not mentioning messaging me about it.

I've had a period of time thinking we'd got all the rigaramole of dealing with the insurance.

AIBU thinking he should have updated me?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 22/07/2024 16:18

I think you’re overreacting. The car needed to go and now it’s gone. I would rather have cute messages about my pets than a boring car any day! He just forgot.

Illbethereforyouuu · 22/07/2024 16:09

I think you're getting some silly responses on here. Of course you'd expect your DH to mention something like selling a car and being paid £4.5k! Anyone on here saying otherwise mustn't have that kind of relationship where you actually chat about things and mention things going on to one another.

TheChosenTwo · 22/07/2024 15:45

I’d just be bloody grateful it had been shifted tbh. We have numerous cars (not showing off 😂) and I rarely notice them unless I’m walking towards one that I parked last to drive.
I’ve been away working and we are going on holiday tomorrow night, dh told me about 5 minutes ago that he’s organised someone to come and do some decorating while we’re away - he sorted it over the weekend but there wasn’t any need to update me at the time and he forgot to tell me last night. I’m absolutely delighted that I don’t have to arrange it and that we’ll be away for it all.

redskydarknight · 22/07/2024 15:40

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:02

So if one of your cars wasn't where is was expected to be, you'd just consider it insignificant and carry on with your day, no headspace given, no curiosity to solve?

It's not the wondering where it was that people find odd. It's the fact that once your DH had told you where it was and apologised, that you are still thinking about it. Other than about how to spend the money.

OtterMouse · 22/07/2024 15:35

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TeaGinandFags · 22/07/2024 15:30

If I was WhatsApping then yes. I'd expect to know.

If he's a known idiot I would still not be happy but resigned to it.

The devil inside me would have an old lady moment and put laxatives in his coffee. I'm not as sweet as I used to be.

justfornow1 · 22/07/2024 15:30

I'd just be grateful it was sold, I have to do everything admin wise 😂

IncognitoUsername · 22/07/2024 15:09

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:02

So if one of your cars wasn't where is was expected to be, you'd just consider it insignificant and carry on with your day, no headspace given, no curiosity to solve?

Not if I knew it had been advisor sale, no. I’d assume it had been sold.
If it was just missing, then yes I would be more concerned.

Ponoka7 · 22/07/2024 15:08

Whose name is it in? You are overthinking it. He just forgot. Whose bank account has the money gone into? I see that it's the joint account. Then it's been a genuine lapse of memory.

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:07

Does anyone disapprove of a purchaser? Confused

Just happy it's finally been sold tbh.

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Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:06

twomanyfrogsinabox · 22/07/2024 15:03

Who did he sell it too and for how much, does he think you would disapprove of the person or the price?

Gosh no.

He didn't have time to update me on the person but there's £4,500 in our joint account that I assume is from the sale.

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Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:04

There's people starting threads on here on where cheese crackers have a Right Way Up.

Shizz on here doesn't have to pass a gravitas test.

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twomanyfrogsinabox · 22/07/2024 15:03

Who did he sell it too and for how much, does he think you would disapprove of the person or the price?

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:03

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:02

So if one of your cars wasn't where is was expected to be, you'd just consider it insignificant and carry on with your day, no headspace given, no curiosity to solve?

Sorry that was for @lazysummerdayz.

Not sure why it didn't quote, darn App Wink

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GirlOverboard123 · 22/07/2024 15:02

I think you're giving this way too much headspace, just by the fact you've created a whole thread about it. I'd just have been relieved and happy that the car hadn't been stolen, then thankful to my husband for sorting out the sale. And then forgotten about it. He apologised to you too, which was nice of him.

If I'd been you, I'd have thought that your husband might have moved the car somewhere, like you often do, so I wouldn't have been too stressed. Anyway, the worst that could have happened is that an old and unwanted car had been stolen, so that scenario wouldn't have caused me too much anxiety, it's not like the car was your prized possession. So yeah, I think you're making too much fuss about this really.

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:02

So if one of your cars wasn't where is was expected to be, you'd just consider it insignificant and carry on with your day, no headspace given, no curiosity to solve?

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Farkinell · 22/07/2024 15:00

I accepted his apology, there's no bad feeling.

I just wanted a gauge to see if people would expect to be updated on this.

Obviously its pleasant to have that few thousand sitting in our bank account rather than on the road. Maybe that celebration is worthy of mention even if it wasn't from the reassuring approach?

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LegendInMyOwnLunchtime · 22/07/2024 15:00

One of those things.

He forgot. In was probably a job crossed off the list so put out of his mind.

I would have rolled my eyes and had a laugh about ‘what if I had called the police, you numpty?’

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 14:58

DavidBeckhamsrightfoot · 22/07/2024 14:57

I think that if your still thinking of this past the time it took you to read sorry he forget, you have issues.

Possibly prone to over thinking and anxiety, so yeah, you're probably spot on.

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lazysummerdayz · 22/07/2024 14:58

To be honest I agree with previous poster you do sound hard work - this is a non issue which wouldn't have most people running to a public forum to post about - you were away he sold it and forgot to mention it - so what

DavidBeckhamsrightfoot · 22/07/2024 14:57

I think that if your still thinking of this past the time it took you to read sorry he forget, you have issues.

AlohaRose · 22/07/2024 14:56

Yes it would be quite normal to message regarding significant stuff but it’s also quite normal for one partner in a relationship to forget something! You seem determined to make this into a bigger deal than it is.

Farkinell · 22/07/2024 14:56

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😂

You sound rather peachy

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Farkinell · 22/07/2024 14:56

DoreenonTill8 · 22/07/2024 14:54

Do you think he has nefarious reasons?

Honestly no, just lack of thought really.

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Farkinell · 22/07/2024 14:55

We've been WhatsApping over the weekend about stuff a lot less inconsequential than selling a car Smile.

Absolutely it slipped his mind, and he apologised the moment he was made aware, it's just I've had that heart sink moment for a while this morning and it made me quite out of sorts.

I thought it's quite normal to message regarding significant stuff compared with sending videos of the dogs twitching in their sleep and a double yplker for his breakfast 😂

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