Boyfriend asked me to always have hair up at his flat

Oh I hair hair like you, it almost breaks the vacuum cleaner and clogs the shower drain. So I understand what he means, but still it's a bit odd.

If your question is about control then I’m not sure why we needed to know how beautiful your hair is?

I think you’re vain about your hair and outraged that anyone would do anything but praise you for it. If your bf is otherwise a nice person then I’d treat it as a little quirk.

My DS has a huge problem with hair especially near his food. If he found a hair in the fridge he’d freak!

I'm with him on this one. Hair attached to head can be lovely. Dead long hair lying everywhere is disgusting. So what if it's natural? So is period blood, but I hope you don't shed that all over his floor and furniture.

He hasn't asked you to cut your hair, just to tie it up to keep his home tidy. Could you compromise and offer to clean after yourself and pick up what you shed?

If roles were reversed and a man was shedding his DNA in a girlfriend's home without offering to clean up after himself, I doubt he'd get much support.

For some reason stray hairs make me ill, especially long hairs. Even my own. So this request wouldn’t bother me at all.

not sure what to say but as a woman myself I hate strands of hair all over the place for hygiene reasons plus I hate having to keep
picking strands of hair all over . Not nice
having said that I would have thought your hair should only be falling out when brushing it .
i also tie my hair in the house anyway aso feel
more comfortable with it ties

I mean, I don't think it stops it going anywhere. I understand it can take some getting used to, having hair everywhere but it does become normal. My hair is EVERYWHERE. I hoover everyday but one brush through and it's all over the floor again.

Yeah I'm weird about it too, my own hair is blonde and crap so I just find buts of broken hair but if I find my daughter's longer dark hair unexpectedly it weirdly gives me the heave. Had female relatives with long dark hair stay at our house once and the towels were just strewn with hair, not their fault and not unusual but really have me the ick

If he was asking for your hair to be tied in a ponytail in an attempt to limit hair loss/shedding then, in my opinion it would be unreasonable but if he was asking for your hair to be tied in a ponytail because he found it attractive then, in my opinion, that would be a reasonable request.

I did once tell a lady-friend that I liked her ponytail and it looked attractive. She didn't mind me saying it and after that she started wearing her hair in a ponytail more often.

No controlling going on. Did people read beyond 'can I please wear it in a ponytail'?. A very good friend of mine is married to a biker with very long hair. He ties his hair up indoors...she was moaning. No controlling there either. His hair gets everywhere.

Now if someone is told to wear this or that indoors etc...generally, then that is controlling. This one isn't.

I have blonde longish hair and very occasionally my husband will joke about it being like owning a Labrador. It does tend to end up on the pillows etc
Point is he has never once said wear it up at home. I’d be annoyed too. This does sound a bit rude.

I have a massive phobia of stray hairs, I think it came from my mum who had thick, dark hair and I remember finding them in my food sometimes. If I shared a living space with some who was shedding visible, long hairs it would cause me huge distress and I wouldn’t feel comfortable. My DH gets very frustrated about me getting upset about them in public places like swimming pools, hotels etc, but I can’t control it.
I think this must be the case for him, if it didn’t affect him he wouldn’t notice them. I think I he’s asked you quite respectfully, but I can imagine it’s an upsetting situation for both of you.

This was my first thought too! 😅

A bit of extrapolation on the behaviour of young men. Also, don't be patronising.

My daughter in law has long hair and it is always shredding around the house. I have invested in 3m clothes rollers.They have to be 3m, they are superior to other brands and pick up loads more hair and fluff. They are have fatter rolls too. Maybe get your boyfriend to buy some?

I’m getting princess hair vibes and bet your stunning to! I’m jel! Huni wear your hair with pride! You do you and if he comments again remind him that you need him to remember you when you’re not there! Also mention if this is a committed relationship we’re talking manage and babies your kids hair will be the same. I had ridiculous extensions in my hay day and they got everywhere (few years ago there not as good then as they are now) A guy friend once mentioned to me the your hair up though his girlfriend was dark and I was Barbie blonde so he knew if she found a hair ANYWHERE he’d be in trouble!

Tell him to get a Dyson Animal Hair Vacuum. Worked well in a similar scenario when a guy had 4 female roommates

And how do you know that, Sherlock? You know the bf? Or just an armchair detective?

If you came to my house and left hair all over the place I’d be asking you to wear a headscarf so I can see his point of view. I don’t think it’s necessarily controlling

I’m not sure it’s a red flag

I have a lot of hair and lose a lot of hair over the day recently pulled my desk out at work and found a whole load of hair seemed enough to make a wig 😮

I get why it can be annoying some people are queasy about lose hair strands

No, he's worried because someone else will find them. Do do the maths.

It’s not a red flag. I have the same issue with my mother. She is Bengali with similar hair you describe her hair gets everywhere when she stays over and stuck in places it’s so annoying when cleaning up after a toddler aswell

Not up. Just on a lose pony tail

My husband is always moaning about my hair clogging up the hoover. I just kindly explain to him that it’s the unfortunate side effect of having a partner with lovely hair, and that he’s entirely free to leave me for a bald woman if that would work better for him. He hasn’t done yet.

My first thought was he’s worried another woman will find one.

Even if it’s not the case, I imagine you’re in a relationship that you’d like to progress so does he expect you to have your hair up forever?

If you cannot accommodate his request in his home why should he accommodate you Princess?

Try being more considerate. I'd hate it too. If you feel he should accept it as a small price to pay for being with wonderful you and your wonderful hair and he doesn't agree just move on.