Boyfriend asked me to always have hair up at his flat

I shed a lot of hair and always now try to wear it in a ponytail around my house as it's so annoying having hair everywhere. So I don't think this is an unreasonable request or means he has an issue with your natural state at all

It's a Shark cordless one. Bought it from Amazon a month ago , reduced by £100 and just checked , it still is !!

If he hasn't learned how to comprise in a relationship - he's probably not ready for one.

What? You mean compromise like the OP seems she clearly will not do, her attitude seems to be this is how it is, suck it up. (Or is that the vacuum cleaner?)

A friend of mine is shedding her long dark hair due to the menopause and while I understand she can't help it - and it's her house so I would never say anything - I do find my stomach churning a little at the hairs all over the floor, in the washbasin when I want to wash my hands after going to the loo, in the shower, on my (otherwise clean) bedsheets if I'm staying there for a few days.

Me and my cats both shed a lot of hair. I don't think wearing it in a ponytail would even make it less likely to drop?
Could you get a dustbuster/handheld vac that specialises in hair? We got one and it's great. It's quite satisfying using it as well!
But I wouldn't be keen on being told how to wear my hair by my partner, whatever the perceived reason. As long as you vac/pick up the hair surely it's just part of day to day cleaning?
Is he totally bald? If not then he must shed a certain amount of hair as well?

My just below the shoulder thin hair gets everywhere so I can't imagine waist length thick! I don't think he's unreasonable but he is being unrealistic

I have short hair, it's thick, it sheds. Does not matter how often I brush it, it sheds.

I've always laid out a towel on my bed and brushed my hair into that. Then I gather up the hairs from the towel and hairbrush and throw them into the bin.

I also wash my hair over the tub and pick up any random hairs in the tub and set them aside to throw them in the bin.

However, the plug still gets hairs over time. If I notice the water is slow to drain, I clean out the plug. And if it's DH's turn to clean the bathroom he also cleans the plug. I've told him I can clean the plug out but he just cleans it himself and has never asked me to. He wears gloves when cleaning the bathroom, he would be put off my a random person's hairs but doesn't seem to be put off my mine.

Is this the only issue? I can't see how the BF is controlling. Waist long hair is exceptionally very long.... so I can see how it's annoying if your hair is all over the house.

I have a friend with this type of hair and find it everywhere when she stays. Sorry, it is annoying.

Would you be prepared to offer to hoover occasionally? Meet him half way?

@TeaGinandFags

I'm not talking about the hair, I'm talking about the attitude. One partner telling the other one to 'grow up' isn't going to be found in any professional relationship advice, because it's unhealthy, dismissive, and rude. There are other ways to get across the message that his request isn't practical or effective. For example, saying to him that his request is neither practical nor effective, and explaining why. It's much less shitty to him.

DDs and I have long hair but not as thick or dark as yours, and it does get everywhere.

These are very useful for carpets, bedding, sofas, stairs etc.

Please share this hoover !!!!!

I think your boyfriend is being very unreasonable. I've got waist length hair and have always taken care to pick up any hair that I shed, wherever I am. I don't see the point of having lovely long hair if you're going to tie it up.

Not sure it's a red flag, sounds like he's just abit OCD about it, is he generally OK, he hasn't asked you to wear diff clothes or is weird about where you go? Would you mind putting it up or is it uncomfortable for you? Key prob is his reaction if you said "no, I'm more comfortable with my hair out", from how je reacts you can prob guage if this is a potential red flag...

Tying your hair back isn't going to make any difference, he needs to accept it's a part of you or not.

The partner is being unrealistic.

I have hair that gets everywhere and I've staunched that by cutting it short. My son has the sort of lock OP is describing and it's a complete bugger.

The bf likes the hair to play with but doesn't want the downside. It's like wanting a puppy but moaning about clearing up puddles.

The upside comes with a downside, so yes, he needs to grow tf up.

@butterpuffed please share brand of anti-hair wrap vacuum!

Genuine question does hair shed less if it's in a ponytail?
I can't see how the relationship can progress if you have to wear your hair up inside? If it got to the point of you moving in together?
What happens when you go to bed, are you supposed to plait it, or is hair acceptable on the pilow?
You are going to end up with one of those paper elasticated hats that they wear in food areas.

He's making you feel insecure and self-conscious. And as pp said, wearing it in a ponytail probably won't make that much of a difference. I see no future in this relationship, there is somebody better for you out there.

Regular brushing helps keep shedding hairs on the brush- but hairs in cooking is just grim- as is ''hair poo'' in dogs - where they somehow ingest a human hair and it causes a poo to dangle - and the dog to be alarmed.

Pigeons also lose feet to human hair getting wrapped around their legs.

Underground cleaners remove tonnes of human hair from the rails.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-65464799#:~:text=Clumps%20of%20human%20hair,and%20metal%20from%20the%20tracks.

I've long dark thick hair and I shed loads. More than the dogs 😭. I can understand how he might be a bit grossed out, but long term if you moved in together how would he manage?

It’s a reasonable ask. I’ve had long hair most of my life and remember my dad having to set about the hoover roller with scissors as it gets so tangled round (and I have to do that now too!)

It does shed, yes it’s largely unavoidable but it’s hygienic to try and minimise. You’re doing a lot to keep on top of it with the sink etc, and I agree with PP that a ponytail doesn’t stop it completely, but some people are icky about hair and if he’s generally a good guy I’d want to show consideration here.

When your partner politely asks you to do something for them, and you tell them to 'grow up and put up with it, I'm worth it', the problem in the relationship isn't your partner.

Yep! What could be the next thing he wants to control?