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AIBU?

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Original poster

To privately judge this?!

38 replies

AboutmyMIL · 22/07/2024 13:26

MIL has a new boyfriend. We met him briefly and both privately thought he seemed very young. We have since found out that this boyfriend is 24 years her junior. He was born the year before DH - so literally only 18 months older than her own son!

DH and MIL are not particularly close and I don’t think since he became an adult that MIL likes the idea of having an adult child and still feels very young herself. She has not acknowledged the fact she is going to be a grandma which is a shame for DH as I think he quietly hoped she would be more excited for him and us.

I would never openly judge anyone’s relationship age gap to their face or express my opinion that way but I am privately thinking WTF… how could you even see someone the same age as your son in that light? 🙈

OP posts:
FalderalderaldoSittingintheWater · 22/07/2024 13:42

This thread would be very different if it was a male parent with a girlfriend 24 years his junior and only 18 months older than his daughter...

Dearg · 22/07/2024 13:39

I am with @BobbyBiscuits . Watch from a distance, to ensure she is not being manipulated or coerced.

It wouldn’t be for me, but I would do my best not to appear judgy although I have a shite poker face.

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 22/07/2024 13:38

Yeah I would think it was weird if my Dad was seeing someone a year older than me.

I would keep it to myself, it’s his life. But I would private think it was odd.

If you couple that with not acknowledging that she is going to be a grandma, sounds like a late midlife crisis.

Original poster
AboutmyMIL · 22/07/2024 13:37

PleaseSortItOutThanks · 22/07/2024 13:36

How old is your MIL?

Early 50s

OP posts:
Original poster
AboutmyMIL · 22/07/2024 13:36

Miley1967 · 22/07/2024 13:34

Is she wealthy ? That would be my worry.

No probably the opposite in lots of debt as far as we know, from her siblings/his aunties. Don’t know about him.

OP posts:
PleaseSortItOutThanks · 22/07/2024 13:36

How old is your MIL?

PleaseSortItOutThanks · 22/07/2024 13:36

It's certainly not to my taste but as long as she's just shagging him, rather than thinking of marrying him, it's all good.

loropianalover · 22/07/2024 13:35

YANBU. Sounds like she has issues if she can’t even acknowledge a grandchild, that’s pretty sad.

Didimum · 22/07/2024 13:35

I wouldn’t care about this

Miley1967 · 22/07/2024 13:34

Is she wealthy ? That would be my worry.

ToxicChristmas · 22/07/2024 13:33

Personally I'd find it weird because of her son being the same age. I just can't imagine dating someone (even adult) that could be my child. Turns my stomach. She's not doing anything illegal obviously, and can live her life as she chooses. I'd be quietly judging though, I admit.

BobbyBiscuits · 22/07/2024 13:33

It's easy to see younger people 'in that light'. They tend to be more attractive than older people.
I'd say most people of all ages would fancy an attractive person in their 20s or 30s, even if it wasn't reciprocated. And they wouldn't ever bother to try it on. But I wouldn't be judging why she finds him attractive. As you say, she seems keen to hold onto her own youth.
Just observe from a distance. Hopefully he's not trying to rip her off or something. I hope if it looks that way you won't say 'i told you so' when it ends in tears.