To privately judge this?!

I’m 50 but told I look younger. If I met a guy naturally (ie not online where you can generally see ages) and he was 30 but thought I was maybe 40 and we hit it off, then I don’t think I’d have an issue with dating him, even though my oldest DCs are late 20s.

it’s definitely a push with that sort of age gap, but just talking to my 18 y/o DD about dating age gaps and her DBro had a 23 yo GF at her age, which she thought was gross back then, but now sees how it might happen, as she’s working with some older guys that she gets on well with.

Age is just a number once you’re an actual adult, and especially past 25 or so when you’re fully done growing up (or should be!)

Unless she's mega rich it probably won't last. He Will probably want children at some point and he won't get any with yoir MIL

It gives me the ick from both sides, older creepy man dating a woman 40 years his junior but also what would the woman in this scenario get out if it, oh yes… money! What folk do for financial security is their own business but Jesus wept 40 years is some gap! 🤢

I’m roughly that age, have children that age - no way would I have a relationship with someone the same age as my children - yes it’s weird and wrong.

Wow I am surprised how many ageist people there are on this thread. My In laws had a big age gap 18 years and they were married for over 40 years until he died at 95 a couple of years ago. They were both very happy.

Never falls to amaze me how adult children judge their parents - like previous posts have said not your business, and if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything.

You are 'privately' judging and yet sharing your distaste with a load of strangers on the Internet? Classy.

💯

Find that personally disgusting. Especially that he's around the same age as her own child. Tells you a lot about the type of person she is.

none of your business.
Thats what she wants. she dosent have to explain to you.

My ex's mum always saw herself as very youthful (and she was). She got together with a man 25 years her junior. Younger than her son! I admit I assumed it wouldn't last long but they were together well over 20 years until she died in her 70s. Her partner was, and is, devastated.
So yes their relationship was unconventional but they were very happy and a good match.
I feel as long they're both consenting adults, just let them get on with it. It'll last or it won't, which can be said of any relationship.

Wouldn’t it just. If my 24 ds came home with a nearly 50 yr old there’d be absolute hell to pay.

I’d think “Blimey, that’s quite an age gap” but that would probably be the limit of my judgement, assuming the boyfriend seemed nice enough and they seemed happy.

A relative of mine is married to a man who is more than 20 years younger than her and of course everyone thought “Wow, he’s really young” when they got together, but they’ve been together for decades now. They really are incredibly well-suited and her two daughters adore him - her previous husband (their dad) was abusive and they were just delighted to see her happy with a sweet, kind man.

So she's about 52 and he's about 28?

If she doesn't have money, it'll be all about the sex and midlife crisis

They'll probably get it out of their systems soon.

I understand how you feel but there isn't anything you can do about. Such things happen and they often don't last so do not worry. It might have been better had she not told you and just had a discreet relationship but what's done is done.

Not unreasonable at all. My FIL’s wife is 40 years younger than him and much younger than DH. I judge away!! Think it’s a bit desperate on the part of the older partner and gives me the ick. And yes, he’s rich of course

I don't agree that it wouldn't be judged if the sexes were reversed. I think it's a bit silly of her but, as long as no harm is done, the 🤷‍♀️ I also don't think someone like Joan Collins can be cited as an example. They're different to us, the rules are different. I mean stars and celebs

Yeah I'd find this all really weird. Poor you!!

What he’s in his 20s?

I understand how you are feeling - after my mum died, my dad started dating someone who was about 7 years old than me - the age gap was about 20 years between him and her.

But it really is none of your business and it will just cause you problems.

That is something I’d judge in private too. She must realise that too. If she’s early 50s then he’s not even 30. I’d wonder what he gets out of it and can’t imagine he’s thinking long term. Who knows though. It works for some and doesn’t have to be some exploitation.

Are you me?

My MIL is exactly the same down to the not wanting to acknowledge a coming grandchild because she didn't feel old enough to have one. That was her response to our pregnancy announcement. I was quite livid at the time.

Said child is now here and she adores them. Hopefully yours follows the same trajectory.

The only difference is, her boyfriend is 7 years younger than her youngest son. It blows my mind and yes, whether or not it's right to judge, I do find it a bit gross and I do judge. But it's not my life, it hasn't affected me, so I don't say anything of course. She's knocking 60 and I just don't see what a 60 year old wants with a 22 year old. Or vice versa for that matter.

In theory that’s right but when I think back to being 18 and finding the 20 year olds attractive and fancy them, it’s definitely not the same now. When I see a 20 year old
now, I can acknowledge they’re attractive but I wouldn’t fancy them as I see them as kids still. I don’t mean to sound patronising but as I’m old enough to be their mother, therefore my view of that age group is different. Anyone the same as your own adult child is enough to put me right off.