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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be worried

66 replies

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 12:52

I’ve just logged on to do a Sainsbury’s online shop and in my favourites folder are condoms which I’ve never bought and my husband swears is not him… All other favourites match what has been previously purchased. I can’t help but worry he may be lying… AIBU?

OP posts:
Cosycover · 22/07/2024 17:35

I reckon he's bought them.

I don't use Sainsburys but Tesco are the same when you use the clubcard. Things come up as they been previously purchased.

But you played your cards too early here. So he will be extra careful now.

Original poster
LTw75 · 22/07/2024 17:29

perhapsatea · 22/07/2024 17:25

Not conclusive but from a blog about Sainsbury's online shopping:

And do you know what a favourite definitely isn’t? Something that Sainsbury’s has been paid to add to your list. Sadly, they do this and you’ll find your otherwise helpful list of favourites peppered with products that you didn’t add.

As condoms are currently on offer this could be feasible, but best to ask Sainsbury's directly before doubting your marriage.

Thank you so much. There are multiple additions that are sponsored and not really aligned to what I’ve bought in the past. The products with a ❤️ are definitely ones we’ve had before and this is the only item that is suspicious I’m afraid. And the particular condoms listed are not on offer so not sure this would be the reason. Really appreciate the perspective though so thank you x

OP posts:
perhapsatea · 22/07/2024 17:25

Not conclusive but from a blog about Sainsbury's online shopping:

And do you know what a favourite definitely isn’t? Something that Sainsbury’s has been paid to add to your list. Sadly, they do this and you’ll find your otherwise helpful list of favourites peppered with products that you didn’t add.

As condoms are currently on offer this could be feasible, but best to ask Sainsbury's directly before doubting your marriage.

Original poster
LTw75 · 22/07/2024 17:25

Thanks all for your comments and feedback.. I did consider my older teens and this wouldn’t be a problem, but I’ve confirmed they haven’t used the nectar card and so am pretty sure it’s not them…

DH is abroad visiting family and returning this evening… His prior five years ago means this is a huge red flag for me. But I wanted to understand the possibility of it being linked to algorithms before I push back hard on his denial.. It’s been very hard not to be suspicious of every little thing but this is really concerning. He regularly does shopping in store and he wouldn’t guess to think the history would link to my grocery account as he never does the online orders.

OP posts:
time2changeCharlieBrown · 22/07/2024 17:24

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2024 14:06

Loads of men are definitely stupid enough.

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Some men would be Definitely stupid enough to not realise that they would show up online
sorry op it does sound likely he’s bought them unless you think you dc could have and used your nectar cards?

protectthesmallones · 22/07/2024 17:24

Could he have bought them for your teenagers? Or lent them the nectar card to get the cheap offer. Are they older teens?

Whataloadofuttercrap · 22/07/2024 17:18

Could well be a glitch. I noticed my “favorites” on Ocado this week included smoked salmon and cat food. I’m the only person who uses my account, I despise smoked salmon and have never bought it and I don’t have a cat!

Sunshineafterthehail · 22/07/2024 17:16

Bit iffy before he went away....

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 22/07/2024 17:13

What's he doing abroad ?

Sunnydiary · 22/07/2024 17:12

Well it’s either teens or DH, who you say has form.

What happened before?

NextFriYAY · 22/07/2024 17:10

doingitbythebookthistime · 22/07/2024 14:14

My mum uses my Tesco club card in store and now my favourites are filled with her regular items! Not sure if Sainsbury's is the same?

It is. If I buy stuff for my parents in the store near them, on to my Nectar faves they go. Ditto if they use my card.

NextFriYAY · 22/07/2024 17:08

They have been purchased by someone using your Nectar.

I’m a Sainsburys shopper and every item I’ve ever bought in a Sainsburys store or online has a red heart in my Favourites list.

Sorry OP (unless it’s one of your teens and in that case, be glad you’ve got sensible kids).

BobbyBiscuits · 22/07/2024 17:04

I would be suspicious. Unless your teens admit to buying them. When I was a teen I always got condoms for free, there were loads of places that gave them out. But the fact he cheated before...yeah, it doesn't look great.

StormingNorman · 22/07/2024 16:43

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 14:02

Yes. Do you think it could be the algorithm?

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I’m wondering if one of them could be your mystery shopper!

libertybonds · 22/07/2024 15:15

I would be suspicious. Sorry, OP.

ElecticBetty · 22/07/2024 15:14

He’s bought them in store with his Nectar card?

I’d struggle to believe he put them in the online shop unless you worked away from home a lot.

TheDuck2018 · 22/07/2024 15:09

But, unless he wanted to get caught, why would he??

Bluebirdover · 22/07/2024 14:30

IncognitoUsername · 22/07/2024 14:18

If he’s having an affair and is stupid enough to buy condoms and use the family nectar card then he wants to get caught. Surely no one is that dense?

They are cheaper with nectar...

AIBU to be worried
IncognitoUsername · 22/07/2024 14:18

If he’s having an affair and is stupid enough to buy condoms and use the family nectar card then he wants to get caught. Surely no one is that dense?

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2024 14:17

Can you go into your account and pull up all receipts that used the Nectar card?

doingitbythebookthistime · 22/07/2024 14:14

My mum uses my Tesco club card in store and now my favourites are filled with her regular items! Not sure if Sainsbury's is the same?

TokyoSushi · 22/07/2024 14:11

Uh oh. It could be a glitch/the algorithm, but it is also definitely possible that they were bought in store. I suppose if I was something in Sainsburys, I probably would just swipe my Nectar card on autopilot, because I always do...

Crunchymum · 22/07/2024 14:09

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 13:45

I messaged him as he’s abroad. Said it must be a mistake but he has previous from 5 years ago hence my paranoia 😞

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What did he do 5 years ago?

Yep sounds like he may have bought them in store and not realised store purchases link to the online account if you use your Nectar?

ToofHurty · 22/07/2024 14:08

My DS uses our family Tesco card to collect points. Could your teenagers have bought them?

Itsascreentime · 22/07/2024 14:08

Once a cheater always a cheater. You should have waited to confront him in person because he won't make that mistake again now and will cover his tracks better. Do you trust him? Do you want to be with him. Because this would give me the ick.