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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be worried

66 replies

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 12:52

I’ve just logged on to do a Sainsbury’s online shop and in my favourites folder are condoms which I’ve never bought and my husband swears is not him… All other favourites match what has been previously purchased. I can’t help but worry he may be lying… AIBU?

OP posts:
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WalkInAStraightLine · 06/08/2024 21:32

@LTw75 OP did you find anything out?

Projectme · 23/07/2024 12:54

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awful as this sounds, I'd be doing the same.

Especially if he has previous.

Blink282 · 23/07/2024 12:48

ThinWomansBrain · 23/07/2024 01:24

but even if buying in store, he's surely not so thick as to prioritise nectar points over concealing the purchase?

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You often get significant savings if you scan your card at the point of purchase. Plus if he doesn’t do the weekly online shop he’d likely have no idea that in store purchases would show up online as favourites.

BarcardiWithGadaffia · 23/07/2024 04:49

BettyBardMacDonald · 23/07/2024 03:05

Out of all the places he could purchase illicit condoms, he'd choose Sainsbury's??

Why not Sainsburys if that's where he was at the time he decided to buy them?

Are the items shown in date order, can you work out when it was?

BettyBardMacDonald · 23/07/2024 03:05

Out of all the places he could purchase illicit condoms, he'd choose Sainsbury's??

ThinWomansBrain · 23/07/2024 01:24

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2024 14:06

As the op has explained several times, he could have bought them in the store.

Show quote history

but even if buying in store, he's surely not so thick as to prioritise nectar points over concealing the purchase?

miniaturepixieonacid · 23/07/2024 01:12

Could it have been the person in front of him in the queue? That happened to me the other day - persom had forgotten their card but wanted the discounts so asked me to use my card for them so they got their money off and I got their points. No idea what was in their trolley. Could have been anything.

Noseybookworm · 22/07/2024 23:53

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 17:25

Thanks all for your comments and feedback.. I did consider my older teens and this wouldn’t be a problem, but I’ve confirmed they haven’t used the nectar card and so am pretty sure it’s not them…

DH is abroad visiting family and returning this evening… His prior five years ago means this is a huge red flag for me. But I wanted to understand the possibility of it being linked to algorithms before I push back hard on his denial.. It’s been very hard not to be suspicious of every little thing but this is really concerning. He regularly does shopping in store and he wouldn’t guess to think the history would link to my grocery account as he never does the online orders.

I think you're right to be suspicious given his history 🙁 I'm not sure I'd bring it up though as he'll just deny it. Time to do a bit of snooping - laptop, phone etc and if he has bought condoms, he must have stashed them somewhere - gym bag, drawers, wardrobe, glove compartment of his car? Sorry, you might want to go full on detective but I think I would!

Galoop · 22/07/2024 23:24

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 12:59

We use the same nectar card so our in store purchases are linked to my online grocery account

Show quote history

Hmmm suspicious. Cross reference with bank statement

tellmeitsnotjustme12 · 22/07/2024 23:15

Unfortunately everything in my favourites on Sainsbury’s app has been bought at some point either online or in store.

He wouldn’t have bought them to give to your teenagers as part of discrete sex discussions no?

SpicyKitty · 22/07/2024 23:08

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ElecticBetty · 22/07/2024 22:46

If there is one purchase I just want to say I regularly forget my nectar or Tesco card and I’ve been known to ask a stranger for their card on checkout to get discount prices.

never had condoms in my trolly tho!!

WalkInAStraightLine · 22/07/2024 21:33

Blink282 · 22/07/2024 17:41

You should be able to request a copy of all transactional data on your nectar account from Sainsburys. It should show where and when they were bought if they were, and poss even payment card if linked I think.

www.nectar.com/about/privacy-and-legal/privacy-policy#PerData

This is the best advice - stop guessing about algorithms and get the data. I'm not totally clear what detail you will get but do request it.

Serene135 · 22/07/2024 21:22

My understanding is that if there is a heart against the item then it has been purchased. Sorry, OP 🌺

catsanddogs5 · 22/07/2024 20:58

Is the nectar card in your name?

Issue a gdpr request to ask why your account has been linked with the condoms.

It's your data so you are entitled to ask Sainsbury's for it.

I'm asking if account in your name because you would need to supply a passport I think.

They have like 28 days to get back to you.

Google gdpr data request.

Kai125 · 22/07/2024 19:12

Sunshineafterthehail · 22/07/2024 19:09

Sainsbury's recently emailed me calling me Raymond and discussing my online shopping.. I can assure you I am not Raymond and have never online shopped with Sainsbury's.. I do have and use a Nectar card in store only..

Sounds like a scam email!

Oh OP I feel angry on your behalf. Sadly he'll have concocted some shit story by the time he gets home.

I'm sorry you're going through this shit show. :(

Jc2001 · 22/07/2024 19:11

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2024 14:06

As the op has explained several times, he could have bought them in the store.

Show quote history

..or in that case use his nectar card when he's buying condoms 😄

Sunshineafterthehail · 22/07/2024 19:09

Sainsbury's recently emailed me calling me Raymond and discussing my online shopping.. I can assure you I am not Raymond and have never online shopped with Sainsbury's.. I do have and use a Nectar card in store only..

NextFriYAY · 22/07/2024 19:01

There are 2 lists on the Sainsburys app: Favourites (red heart / it’s been purchased) and then the sponsored ‘would you like to buy’ list (no red heart / it’s not been bought).

If the condoms are in your Favourites, accompanied by a red heart, they have been purchased.

Starjumpfifty · 22/07/2024 18:58

LTw75 · 22/07/2024 17:25

Thanks all for your comments and feedback.. I did consider my older teens and this wouldn’t be a problem, but I’ve confirmed they haven’t used the nectar card and so am pretty sure it’s not them…

DH is abroad visiting family and returning this evening… His prior five years ago means this is a huge red flag for me. But I wanted to understand the possibility of it being linked to algorithms before I push back hard on his denial.. It’s been very hard not to be suspicious of every little thing but this is really concerning. He regularly does shopping in store and he wouldn’t guess to think the history would link to my grocery account as he never does the online orders.

I shop at Sainsbury's multiple times a week and have done for years (online and in store).
Everything in mine is stuff I've purchased before. Sorry

ftb1 · 22/07/2024 18:11

Yes, he's bought them not realising it would then link to the nectar
card. This happened to me - not with condoms but with Haribos which I can't resist, purchased in store when on a diet and DH spotted them and teased me.

TheShiningCarpet · 22/07/2024 17:47

He’s bought them in store not realising it will connect to the online account

KidneyWarrior · 22/07/2024 17:47

They've been bought in store using your Nectar card or your husbands 😬

It's not an algorithm, it just records what has been bought online and in store.

Original poster
LTw75 · 22/07/2024 17:44

Blink282 · 22/07/2024 17:41

You should be able to request a copy of all transactional data on your nectar account from Sainsburys. It should show where and when they were bought if they were, and poss even payment card if linked I think.

www.nectar.com/about/privacy-and-legal/privacy-policy#PerData

Ok thank you. He set up the nectar account so will need to see if I can access when he’s back

OP posts:
Blink282 · 22/07/2024 17:41

You should be able to request a copy of all transactional data on your nectar account from Sainsburys. It should show where and when they were bought if they were, and poss even payment card if linked I think.

www.nectar.com/about/privacy-and-legal/privacy-policy#PerData