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AIBU?

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Original poster

2 AIBU in one, table etiquette and in-laws..

133 replies

PardontheFrench · 22/07/2024 12:23

This is a light humoured one (kind off)

In-laws down on holiday, it’s chaos round here as we are also moving this week, trying to pack and aware DH’s parents are also here to spend time with us and have a nice time, we are doing all the cooking entertaining etc.

Cooked a lovely meal around carnage last night, made sure everyone was sorted, DC, in-laws, dog was out of the way, drinks topped up sat down at the table to notice that in-laws had moved their cutlery round to their preferred position of knifes sitting with blades out, definitely not how I set the table!!

Firstly AIBU to think that everyone over the age of 12 knows the correct table setting etiquette is knifes with blades turned inwards

2nd AIBU that it’s fucking cheeky to be so self righteous that you make a show of your preferred way especially when you are bastarding wrong! in someone else house!

There have been many larger things over the years that have pissed me off but this tiny moment of exercising control has given me the rage like no other!

OP posts:
Hummingbird75 · 22/07/2024 14:23

Almost everyone does this at my dinners, I think nothing of it - they do what they like to feel comfortable. Surely hosting any kind of dinner means you want your guests to feel comfortable and relaxed, so they should have their cutlery how they wish.

Anyone hung up on this has a big back story or has totally run out of road patience wise. Step away and have a long break away from them.

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 14:15

adorablecat · 22/07/2024 14:12

I'm not surprised she dosen't like them. I wouldn't like people who thought it was fine to impose themselves on family days before they move house.

Show quote history

Ergo, she doesn’t like them so has been irked by the changed table settings.

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 14:14

Benjilassi · 22/07/2024 13:33

Firstly AIBU to think that everyone over the age of 12 knows the correct table setting etiquette is knifes with blades turned inwards

YABU and ignorant if you really think that everyone knows this. Do you live in a bubble where you are unaware that there are people who don't own a table to set a sodding knife on, let alone worry about which way its facing.

For all OP’s highfalutin etiquette how can she spell knives as knifes, and not just once!

adorablecat · 22/07/2024 14:12

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 13:54

It’s only an issue because you don’t like them. If you liked them you wouldn’t have a) noticed or b) noticed and not cared.

I'm not surprised she dosen't like them. I wouldn't like people who thought it was fine to impose themselves on family days before they move house.

PaleSunshineOfHope · 22/07/2024 14:09

Why are you faffing around with gravy boats when you are about to move house? If they are graceless enough to invite themselves to stay at such a time, your in-laws should expect to take you as they find you. And maybe take you all out for dinner.

DragonFly98 · 22/07/2024 14:07

Yeah it would wind me up but I do t think that's the cause of your stress it's just overwhelming for you, so the straw that broke a the camels back. They should have cancelled their visit and your dh should have told them to.

HelloCheekyCat · 22/07/2024 14:06

TimeForTeaAndG · 22/07/2024 12:46

How do you cut anything before you eat it?

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Have you seen Americans eat? Bit of a generlisation but they use their fork to cut food up forgoing using a knife

Screamingabdabz · 22/07/2024 13:59

Yanbu. The audacity!

I would definitely have had to say something - made out I was joking but massively and passive aggressively took the piss.

ns87 · 22/07/2024 13:58

You deserve a medal for having in-laws over on a week where you are moving.

Heartofglass12345 · 22/07/2024 13:57

Oh god I couldn't care less about how anyone lays the table. Jesus Christ

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 13:55

rainbowstardrops · 22/07/2024 13:48

You're moving this week and you're fretting about plates and knives and how they're placed? FFS

Sounds like it was an official banquet. I’ve never eaten with family (unless a restaurant) where table setting etiquette is a thing.

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 13:54

It’s only an issue because you don’t like them. If you liked them you wouldn’t have a) noticed or b) noticed and not cared.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2024 13:49

Who the fucking messes around with a gravy boat when they're trying to pack for a house move? Come the fuck on.

You have a you problem.

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 13:49

I didn’t know it was thing to be honest. I don’t notice these kinds of things (cutlery direction, plate placements etc). I’m a heathen.

rainbowstardrops · 22/07/2024 13:48

You're moving this week and you're fretting about plates and knives and how they're placed? FFS

Notreat · 22/07/2024 13:46

Fullyflavoured · 22/07/2024 12:25

I doubt I'd even notice or care tbh.

I have said YABU because who really cares which round the knives are (I had no idea there was a correct way) and they only turned their own cutlery round. If they feel more comfortable with the knives facing they way they always have them what does it matter? And I wouldn't have noticed that they had done it either.

GrumpyPanda · 22/07/2024 13:45

Gravy boats 😂all when you had the perfect excuse to just put the gravy on the table in the original saucepan.

For tonight/tomorrow set the inlaws to work packing up, then order pizza for dinner. No cutlery needed.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 22/07/2024 13:45

I'd send the plebs to McDonald's for their next meal and get on with your packing instead.

thefamous5 · 22/07/2024 13:43

I'm over the age of 12 and had no idea this was a thing.

I've (obviously) never noticed and if wouldn't bother me even if I did know it was a thing. What difference does it make to anything at all?

redskydarknight · 22/07/2024 13:42

If they'd reset the whole table, then they would have been making a point.

I can't see the issue with them reorganising their own cutlery to the way that they prefer it.

Yougetmoreofwhatyoufocuson · 22/07/2024 13:39

Peasants!

janeintheframe · 22/07/2024 13:38

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 22/07/2024 13:04

43 years old and pretty run of the mill middle class

Never in my life knew there was a correct way to lay the table with knives. I usually just throw a bunch of knives and forks in the middle of the table

I think this is definitely the straw that broke the camels back. But I think there's a lot of built up tension and passive aggressive behaviour here on both sides.

I would have just told them the dates no longer worked and if they did still come we'd be eating out or getting a take away. Not eating a meal that required side plates and a gravy boat!

Edited

Your solidly middle class and thought the etiquette for guests was to throw the knives into th4 middle of the table and don’t know the correct way to set one?

class is irrelevant, how do uou not know how to set a table. Have you never been served a meal where it was set. Never eaten out at a restaurant?

Benjilassi · 22/07/2024 13:35

MrHarleyQuin · 22/07/2024 13:26

What an odd thing to be bothered about when there is so much going on.

I wonder if she is related to the poster who (of all the household chores in the world) is worried about fly poo?

Benjilassi · 22/07/2024 13:33

Firstly AIBU to think that everyone over the age of 12 knows the correct table setting etiquette is knifes with blades turned inwards

YABU and ignorant if you really think that everyone knows this. Do you live in a bubble where you are unaware that there are people who don't own a table to set a sodding knife on, let alone worry about which way its facing.

Westfacing · 22/07/2024 13:33

that in-laws had moved their cutlery round to their preferred position of knifes

knifes?