1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

@Werweisswohin English. The Welsh and Scots are different and more akin to the Northern Irish.

There is a very particular kind of English reserve, the true underbelly of which has been fully exposed in anonymity on this thread.

Oh christ, stop being a bloody misery!

English or British?

OP, if you'd had to stop at 3 would it be ok for another child to join in so the teams are even numbers in volleyball? Honestly, ludicrous.

Not OP's family, she specifically had 4 to avoid the messiness of having to have friends outside the family.

My (3) children don't have to make friends on holiday but they usually want to. That's quite normal isn't it?
And if they don't want to play with other children then they don't.
Mine are all 6+ so I don't get involved.

Are you 100% sure they're only children and that the siblings aren't at a club, party, or playdate?

Yesterday, at the park, four children attached themselves to my husband who was in goal for shooting practice with our son. We know (vaguely) three of them, they were all there separately with just one of their parents, but not their siblings and I could have easily assumed they were only children otherwise.

But, either way, I wouldn't care. If they are adding to our experience of being at the park, nothing to see here - if not, then we just gently tell them it's time to go back to their parents.

Children don't always have to be entertained.

They don't have to be inclusive imo. They do have to share the space - if it's a communal playground/swimming-pool/beach etc.

They do have to learn a way to say politely and firmly "Actually, we just want to play with each other right now". It's normal for children to make friends and have social interactions in these sorts of places, so it's for the OP's kids to make it clear that they'd prefer not to be approached in this way. It's not for the parents of the kids doing the approaching to jump in and stop them, because their children aren't doing anything wrong unless they refuse to back off after being given a clear message that they're not welcome.

And it's up to the parents to decide whether to continue lying on their sun loungers (assuming they're still adequately supervising their kids) or entertain their kids. There is nothing inherently wrong with a parent saying "go away and play" to their child in an appropriate place.

@Ereyraa it actually does have significance: English attitudes to society and family are really very different from the way they are where I’m from.

I mean, to be fair - the way some parents of larger families are reacting to a child playing with their children, I think both my son and I would get the vibe early doors that you weren’t the kind of families we want to mix with, given we are not welcome.

This thread is getting weirder and weirder. If you don't want other kids talking to your kids, I'm sure you can find a nice quiet cave to holiday in and avoid contact with other people. Or give them a stack of business cards which say, "This family does not interact with non-family members." Like some sort of strange, extra small cult.

@Ducksurprise no! As a PP has recently said: I don’t view children playing together (with me close on hand and definitely not abdicating responsibility) as my child being entertained. It’s play: a usually mutually pleasant childhood activity.

Nope. Not that this has the significance you seem determined to keep attaching to it.

So other people have to entertain your child?

Because unstructured play without adults hovering round ready to perform and entertain is beneficial for kids?

@Ducksurprise and @Ereyraa are you both English, by the way?

@Piglet89 why is it unpleasant?

When you go on holiday do you expect to spend all your time with strange adults? Are you pushed to include them with you even if you'd rather just speak to your adult travelling companions?

@Piglet89 no, holidays are for relaxing and doing what you like, for two weeks of the year etc. Not having to be ‘tolerant’ of other people’s life choices .

@Ereyraa I mean: we DO send him to kids’ club. But he’s just a sociable guy and to be honest I don’t particularly want to quash that because some unwelcoming arsehole’s viewing him as a pain just because he’s friendly, you know? He’s only 5.

Fuck me, this thread’s depressing.

Not particularly inclusive

I'm not a charity or a business. And actually other peoples kids don't normally add to the enjoyment because it is different being just siblings.

Kids can still grow up and be welcoming and friendly without having to put themselves last.

@Ereyraa inclusivity and a degree of tolerance is surely a good value to encourage in children, is it not? Does it not help to make our society more pleasant if we can try to practise it instead of being tribal? I grew up in 80s Northern Ireland, so forgive me if I’ve some serious issues with the “them and us” attitudes imparted on the thread.

I am fairly sociable and open minded myself but many on this thread seem to have had multiple children in part so their kids can avoid having to socialise outside the nuclear family if they so choose. This is, at best, weird and at worst really quite unpleasant.

For all those who firmly believe their kids need to play with other kids, why not send them to kids club.

You've summarised OP beautifully.

How old are your 4 children OP? This isn't something I have noticed apart from 1 boy hung with us well mainly my own child! I didn't mind at all.

I've a single parent and I've done many holidays with DS this isn't something I've observed when I've been away OP.